difficult child Just Locked Himself In His Room

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    This morning difficult child was getting ready for a shower and he went into my room to grab a shirt from the laundry basket. He also took one of mine and had it crumpled up him his hand. I askd him, probably a little more forcefully than I should have, what he was doing with my shirt. He looked at it, said he didn't realize that he picked it up with his, and put it back. Then he came to me and asked, "Did you have to me so mean to me?" I told him that I was wrong to have spoken to him that way and I was sorry. Apparently, not good enough. He's going on and on about how he didn't do anything wrong and that I hurt his feelings. So I told him that when he says he's sorry for something he expects the rest of us to go to being happy-go-lucky immediately after he says it. Now he knows how the rest of us feel when he says he's sorry after an hour of his screaming at everyone.

    I guess he didn't like my answer because he walked into his bedroom, calmly, and closed and locked the door.

    A teaching moment?
  2. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Oh wow. Can totally relate. If I'm perceived as mean or angry there is no sorry good enough and it goes on and on. Q just has such a hard time seeing another perspective and even when pointed out as you did he gets too stuck. Uggg. Exhausting.

    I hope he is just calming himself and does integrate what you said. Wouldn't that be nice?
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Absolutely. I use those types of things as teaching moments all the time. If that doesn't work, flip it around and next time he apologizes, ask him if he wants you to respond to the apology the way he always does or the way it should be responded to. Mine understand that concept too so I have done that, the choice is theirs. Usually, however, when I ask them they get this dumb look on their face and ask what I mean. UGH.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah, I hear you!
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Well, he came out after about 15 minutes, but he said to me that he's not taking his shower until tonight because I was mean to him. He seems to think that things like that are some kind of punishment towards me. Actually, it works out better because tomorrow is the first day of school here and now he won't have to shower in the morning.

    He's been kind of "off" all day, which I'm sure has alot to do with the fact that school is starting, but he hasn't completely lost his cool. At one point he was angry with easy child and he walked away saying, "You know, I just need to cool off!" easy child went to chase after him, but I told him to leave difficult child alone. difficult child said what he needed and I made sure that he got time to cool down. Now they're playing together - at least until the next problem crops up!
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You know, now that you mention it, that may be one reason my difficult child is ramping up, too. School is starting and they are uneasy, agitated, excited and nervous all at the same time. Uh-duh. I should have thought of that.

    by the way, there's a cute photo on FB floating around ... posed, but cute ... a mom and 4 kids. The mom is jumping up in the air with-a look of joy on her face. The four kids are lined up, shoulder-to-shoulder, with-backpacks, scowling. Back to school!
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I saw that one!! I think mothers all over America are feeling that way!!

    School starting is a BIG thing here with him. It's gotten worse as he's gotten older, but he's starting to understand that he always thinks things are going to absolutely TERRIBLE, but they never seem to end up being as bad as he thinks they will be. I'm hoping this is more of that.

    So far, so good. Like I said, he's "off", but hasn't completely lost his cool. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the rest of the day.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hate when difficult child apologizes and expects everyone to be happy go lucky but (just like your difficult child) if it is reversed he is not at all happy go lucky!

    by the way, I'm glad that difficult child is heading back to school just wish I had another week off:)