difficult child screwed up again --- Updated again PO called

[OTE]

Glad you've got enough info to be at peace with his current status.

The jail folks were always very clear to me that mine did not belong there. The SW was telling you the same thing. They know yours is impulsive, foolish, needs treatment that they cannot provide. They know he's not a sociopath, a criminal with no remorse, not violent by nature. Honestly, unless he attacks a guard they feel sorry for him. They're not going to beat him. But they have rules that he has to follow. So try to put that out of your mind, they are treating him as well as they can within their system. OK, the system stinks.

One of the good things, in my humble opinion, that has come out of this is the fact that difficult child has never stopped his ideas of running away. Yes, he's done it and they know that. But they all understand now that any treatment has to be in a locked setting. My advice would be to look for one of those first. It's really his best shot, for his own good. Since they now all understand that it would seem unlikely, barring some kind of over population problem, that they would release your difficult child.

In terms of locked facilities that are not hospitals there aren't a lot but they do exist. Most of the ones I've seen can be found by looking for places for sex offenders. That's a population that typically needs the kind of placement your difficult child does. I'm sending you one which is a distance from you but...

 

[rejectedmom]

OTE, Thanks. I will look for your message. Part of me is just shaking my head and the othe part is wracking my brain for solutions. BIG SIGH! Thanks everyone for holding my hand There was a time in my life when I was not so needy. -RM

 

[OTE]

I just found the one I was thinking of, they don't take over 17. I'll see what else I can dig up for you.

 

[OTE]

I actually don't know enough to do this for you. Here's the first page to enter your location. On the next page I'd choose comorbid sub abuse/ mental health and criminal justice. Obviously long term residential and Medicaid. (I assume you've already done the SSI process so he's on Medicaid). If nothing locked shows up then change the location until you get something locked. ie change the first page to a city 150 miles from you and so on until you find something.

Other option which I've had success with is the State website for the licensing board for residential programs. There's usually a list online that you have to read through to find what you want. All of this takes hours and hours, but you know that already.

 

[DDD]

I'm rootin' for you! DDD

 

[donna723]

RM, try not to worry about him being in "isolation". In the prison system it doesn't mean that he's off some place where no one can see him. If he's in a segregation unit of a State prison, he's in a place where they are watching him much closer than if he were out in the general population. These high security units usually have more staff members than the regular housing units do. It sounds to me like he's doing thirty days punitive segregation for what they considered to be an escape attempt and it's a VERY serious offense. It would be considered to be an escape attempt in the prison where I work too.

If it's like where I work, these segregation units look pretty much like the other housing units, except that there is just one to a cell instead of double-bunked. When they are written up for a disciplinary offense they are given a due process hearing by staff members. I've been on LOTS of these. If they are given segregation time as a punishment, they will stay in a punitive unit. They are under very close observation while they are there. In our prison, segregation means they stay in this special high-security punitive unit, they are locked down for 23 hours a day, with one hour recreation time in an outdoor "caged-in" area, if they want it. There are other inmates all around, probably "right next door", but they never come in physical contact with each other - they are only taken out of the cells one at a time. They are NOT allowed to have visitors while doing punitive time - visitation is considered to be a privilege. They are not permitted to have a radio or TV while segregated. Meals are brought to them three times a day and if they want to purchase commissary items, they can only purchase necessary hygiene items and writing materials, no junk food or "fun stuff". They may or may not have limited telephone privileges. They have access to a counselor and a chaplain. They have access to library books too, and it is mandated by the Federal Courts that they have a legal library onsite. And they ARE allowed to have telephone contact with their attorney. Mostly it is b-o-r-i-n-g! The boredom is actually the "punishment" of being in segregation!

I wouldn't worry that he has been beaten either! "Isolation" doesn't really mean that he is "isolated". It's NOT like it is in the movies. There are lots of people around all the time and this is very, VERY unlikely. Only the most experienced staff are assigned to the high security units. Most of them tend to be the laid back types who get along very well with the inmates. They know how to deal with them without "losing it". HOWEVER, if the inmate gets physically assaultive with the staff, the staff is allowed to use the amount of physical force that is necessary to subdue the inmate - ONLY what is absolutely necessary and nothing more! And on the rare occasions when this happens, the objective is to SUBDUE the inmate, not injure them. Any staff member who ever physically abused an inmate WOULD be reported by someone, and not only would he lose his job, he would be prosecuted in Federal Court and probably end up in prison himself!

So basically, forget everything you've seen in the movies ... it's not like that at all! Sending lots of hugs - I know how hard this must be for you.

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks OTE what search engine are you using?

Donna, Thanks for the info. i do have a question can he get mail?

difficult child is in a county facility but I think isolation is the same there. He hasn't had his hearing yet. The PO, guards and staff are all pretty much shaking thier heads. The SW said he didn't think it was a real escape attempt and said difficult child wouldn't have gotten out even if he had gone into the vent. Probably would have just gotten stuck. We all agree it was probably just difficult child trying to show off and be cool but that doesn't mean it is going to be pooh poohed away. I do not know what the panel will give him in the way of pnishment. SW said a max of 30 days. For all I know difficult child wanted to go to isolation. Maybe he likes having his own room so to speak. You never know what is going on n difficult child's warped little brain although I'd guess most times it is nothing but pure impulse no real cognitive thought.

husband said he will call before he goes to visit again so he doesn't end up wasting another 4 hours travel time and all that gas. It is what it is. I 'm not gonna try to change it. But I do hate the idea of difficult child not having visitors. I have two cousins who are prison guards. Another one who is a police officer. They are very professional but they also have alot of stories. They have said that restraining a prisoner sometimes can get rough. difficult child can get pretty beligerant when he is depressed.

Hopefully difficult child doesn't act out anymore. difficult child can be very frustrating because he doesn't learn from his mistakes. So while I agree that it isn't like TV I also agree with Janet that when an inmate is depressed and has mental health issues the punishment of isolation and bordom is not a good fit and could lead to bigger problems.

 

[donna723]

RM - They cannot withhold mail from him. If it's like our facility, all mail is opened, searched for contraband, and read before it is given to them. It is read because a lot of people are dumb enough to write in letters about their plans to bring in drugs, etc.! Their phone calls are also recorded, for the same reasons. Not that you would be doing this, but photographs or magazines, etc., that are inflamatory in nature, extremely violent or pornographic are withheld from them. But there should be no problem with regular letters from a family member.

If he hasn't had a hearing on the charges yet, he may not end up doing a whole thirty days segregation. In our system (I believe it's a legal requirement) we can only give up to thirty days punitive segregation at any one time. This may be what they were talking about with the "thirty days". If someone had three separate charges, we could give ten days on each charge for a total of thirty days, or 20+5+5 or whatever, but no more than thirty days at one time. And if they are already locked up on the charges, we usually give them credit for "time served", the number of days they have already been locked up pending the hearing. We CAN give them credit for "time served", we don't HAVE to. A lot depends on how they conduct themselves in the hearing.

Over the years we've had many inmates try to get in the ceilings of the building I work in. It's rumored among them that if you can get up in the ceiling on our side of the building, you can crawl across to the other side of the building that is outside the trapgates, then remove another ceiling tile and be out on the other side of the gates ... WRONG! There are many, many foot-thick panels of solid concrete up there!

And there ARE some who PREFER to be in segregation! For some of them, it's worth being locked up to not have a "roommate" - they like those single cells. Some like it because they don't have to work while they're locked up and they can just sit there and vegetate all day. And we have quite a few who refuse to leave when their segregation time is over! Some are afraid to be in the general prison population ... they may owe another inmate money that they can't repay or they may have been threatened, or they might be just plain scared. They think they lose face by requesting protective custody (referred to as "checking in"). So they may do something off-the-wall dumb so they will be locked up in segregation for a while. It achieves the same thing, and allows them to save face!

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks Donna! I'll write to him then and let him know what is going on. -RM

 

[Sunlight]

each jail is different inside. ant's iso cell was cement block with no way too look out, a small slot of a food tray, no mirror nothing. he said he forgot what he looked like. he did have a calendar and said he would stare at it to hope the day would change.

he had no access to a library during that time. I had to purchase books at one bookstore which the guards picked up when they felt like.

I have been in one jail in my county that was totally archaic, cells with traditional bars, then a huge metal door locking over that, no way to look out but a small slot.

county jails have much less funds, no programs but AA and Bible study maybe once a week if the volunteer shows up.

ant has been in three jails. alleg co jail is small cells, metal shelves stacked two to a room a wide as most folks bathrooms, a small slot to look out when the door is closed and no bars. it was horrid, not much food, and what food there was bad. they are all different.

ant saw or spoke to no one in iso. only a guard if he passed by.

 

[rejectedmom]

Janet, I do not think difficult child's place is much better. When he called me shortly after the last time he was in difficult child reffered to ISO as "the Hole". I didn't ask him what it was like. I will the next time I speak with him. Regardles of the conditions it doesn't seem to be enough to keep him from acting out. A true testament to the fact that he is in need of MH services -RM

 

[donna723]

RM - "The Hole" is a slang expression used in almost every prison and jail by inmates and staff both to refer to being in segregation. In fact, disciplinary boards hearing cases will say they are giving the inmate x-number of days of "hole time". The term probably goes way, way back to when it literally meant that. But it's just an old expression - don't let it bother you. :shocked:

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks Donna!

 

[Coookie]

RM,

Just sending hugs. It hurts when our difficult children don't learn from their mistakes... :tears: I understand how you feel.. :frown:

 

[rejectedmom]

Thanks Cookie. I know you do. (((HUGS))) -RM