difficult child spiraling once again

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by sameold sameold, Aug 19, 2007.

  1. sameold sameold

    sameold sameold New Member

    difficult child has been at his supported living home for almost 11 months. He has had several incidents of aggression. Mainly verbal abuse. Well yesterday, and this is the second time in two weeks, he locked staff out of the house, the first time broke several windows and most recently threatened to, if they used the key to come in. I feel discouraged. I keep hoping he will progress forward. But it just doesn't happen. They have once again increased his medications slightly. I just need to accept the fact that he will more than likely never be independent. husband and I keep praying. difficult child is so depressed he just doesn't care what happens to himself. He has been like this since he was 10. He has been hospitalized twice for suicidal ideations. We have tried so many different antidepressants. I feel so defeated for difficult child.
  2. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Sending you a gentle hug. :frown: I know what it is like to think of a difficult child and feel the pain in your heart. :frown: Watching from a distance and knowing that there is nothing you can do is the most helpless feeling there is. :frown: No words of wisdom, just understanding.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm so sorry difficult child is still struggling so much.

  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    acceptance is so hard. we hope forever that they will be cured and this will go away and we can all live normal lives.

    may God grant your prayers and make your son well, and if that is not in his plan then I pray your son will be better. better enough to make everyone stop worrying about him, better enough to live and function in peace. we all deserve peace. God bless.
  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Oh gosh, that has to be discouraging. I'm so sorry!

  6. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    I am surprised they keep him. I guess you can be thankful for that.

    I hope his medications help.
  7. sameold sameold

    sameold sameold New Member

    Thanks to you all for your kind words. I just get so frustrated with the cards we all here o this board have been dealt. It is just so unfair for us and our difficult child's. I knew you would all understand.
    husband and I have always just wanted difficult child to be happy, it didn't seem like we are asking too much. But mental illness always seems to win. Oh well, I need to stop whining and move on. When difficult child was home I didn't have too much time to feel sorry for myself.
    Oh, and they won't send him home, when I checked into this agency one of the first questions I asked was what happens when he goes into a crisis. They said that they dealt with it, sometimes the local police who are all trained to deal with mentally ill people may have to become involved and sometimes the hospitals are involved, but they always have a home to come home to. I can definatley be thankful for his staff they are so good.
    Thanks for helping me see the positives.
  8. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    You can just thank your lucky stars that difficult child is in a supportive environment. :angel:

    I too despise mental illness.

    Sending some gentle hugs.
  9. KFld

    KFld New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: sameold, sameold</div><div class="ubbcode-body">
    husband and I have always just wanted difficult child to be happy, it didn't seem like we are asking too much. </div></div>

    That is what we all want for our children, but it's not always something we have any control over. Glad he's able to stay in the assisted living and won't be returned home to you. That is too much for you to live with.
  10. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Yep, lets get a new deck of cards.....It is soooooo frustrating not to be able to do anything that will make their lives better....

    Thinking of you and your family....
  11. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    I wonder if my son has a mental illness. His dad took hiim to the dentist yesterday. He got antibiotic and pain medications they said he needed one wisdom tooth pulled. He is living in a trailer with a friend and his girlfriend. I cant believe it. They dont even have a phone. I have no idea how he will find a job or get there or anywhere else for that matter. I go to my alanon meetings and they are all so supportive. This is so hard for me. He has another court date of Sept. 5. I hope they help him some way. I dont know whether to say anything to the judge or not. I feel helpless and know how it feels to watch someone do something so crazy. :hammer:
  12. Jen

    Jen New Member

    It is upsetting when they cannot be positve in a program that is well suited for them, not everyone gets that opportunity.

    I am learning one day at a time, all on my own, with-o expectations.

  13. KFld

    KFld New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: standswithcourage</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I dont know whether to say anything to the judge or not. </div></div>

    I learned from experience that anytime I tried to get involved and change a situation, it usually made things worse. let the chips fall as they may.
  14. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Actually my son kinda told me that. He wants us to lie and say me and my husband had a fight and he had to leave the house because he had no where to go blah blah blah which is not true. He left the house because we told him he couldnt come home and he knew it for 52 days. He could make another choice or get help for his problem instead of walking the streets drunk feeling sorry for himself. I understand it is an addiction and a disease but when do they see the consequences for their actions isnt getting them anywhere. I guess I will keep my mouth shut. The last time I opened my mouth toa Judge they sent hiim "down the road".