difficult child update

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by toughlovin, Aug 11, 2014.

  1. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Hi Everyone,

    Well I thought I would give a quick update....I had been pretty worried about difficult child as he has not been super communicative with us which is always kind of a red flag.... and yet I also think it is not unusual for a 22 year old guy to not always keep up with his mom... especially given that our relationship is not easy or real close.

    Then I saw an actual FB post that was positive!! The first one I think I have ever seen, about how things are better and for that he is grateful.... kind of AA type talk. Hmmm. And then he got in touch and we saw him this weekend... only of course because he wanted something.... but he looks and seems pretty good.

    Hopefully he gets a review at the place he is at on Tuesday and if he gets the ok can look for a job... he actually went on a job interview and would have gotten the job except he cant start until he gets the ok and they were not going to hold the position.

    So I am feeling somewhat hopeful again...... but of course with a whole lot of caution.

    At least for now he seems to be doing ok. i do wish we had a closer relationship but I think too much has happened for it to be easy between us.... and that will take a lot of time. But the seeds are there at least.


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  2. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Great update! As long as they are breathing there is hope.
  3. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It sounds hopeful TL. You may never get back the relationship you once had with him but you can have a new one hopefully that is built on love and respect for each other as adults.
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have learned that is all we can ask for when dealing with a difficult child. I am glad you have this respite and hope it continues.

  5. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Thanks.... I think this dealing with a difficult child with substance abuse starts teaching us about taking one day at a time..... I am just having to let go of the future with him and be glad he is ok for today. I am going to see him this aftertoon so I will get a read on him but good or bad I have to just take it for today.

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  6. Childofmine

    Childofmine one day at a time

    TL, I am rereading this thread today in hopes I can follow in your footsteps. I just want to accept what is and be at peace.
  7. toughlovin

    toughlovin Well-Known Member

    Saw difficult child today.... he is looking good. I took him shopping for some clothes which he needed. Nothing unreasonable. We actually had a very pleasant time... talked some current events. Got a sense more on where he stands on some issues... not that different than me actually. :)

    He has gotten to like the halfway house he is at... likes the other guys. And interestingly said he is not looking over his shoulder all the time. I asked what he meant... well the urine tests are no big deal because he knows he will pass them (meaning he is clean), and he is not breaking any rules!!

    I Said that must feel good... he says I dont think about it all the time but yeah when I do it does feel good!

    He is allowed to look for a job now so hopefully he will lfind one.

    But it was a nice afternoon with him.


    Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app
  8. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Great update!!
  9. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    I'm really glad you had a nice visit. It's a relief to know he's sticking with it; I'm proud of him!
  10. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

  11. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member