I was just wondering because over the years we have tried both systems...offering rewards for good behavior(avoiding bad behavior like gaining control if losing it, etc) and then we have even used consequences like punishments or loss of something for behaving badly, but neither seems to make any difference for us. You would think it would being that we ask difficult child what it is he would like to earn for behaving and we set a fair standard but honestly, he can't manage it. And as far as consequences goes, even taking away the most important thing to him seems to not help him remember not to do what caused the problem again. It seems like a big waste of everyones time and effort but rules have to be followed! Just wondering if anything works for you?