Do you ever feel like diagnoses are harmful?

I have hesitated to post about my step daughter because I fearful she will get labeled by the psychiatric system; and spend her life gaining more diagnoses every time she meets an obstacle.

She is 16, the kindest, warmest, most intuitive, strong girl ever. But has struggled in this world where character has taken a backseat to Kardashian cloths and bullying.

A few weeks ago, she took some pills, then quickly told us what happened and that she just wanted to shut her brain off and sleep. We got her checked out, everything was fine.

Still, a big red flag.

So do we start therapy? Or do we hold off and let her develope a bit more?

I am leaning towards a coach she can meet with outside the family. Someone to talk about life, hope, etc.

I really think she is going to be great as high school passes. I don't want to saddle her with the stress of an unwarranted psychiatric diagnoses. Am I wrong? Thoughts? Advice?
 

Crayola13

Well-Known Member
An appointment with her primary care doctor is where I would start. After she talks to the doctor alone, he or she advise you on what to do. She may or may not have an anxiety disorder or any other condition. Yoga can help her shut her mind off and go to sleep sometimes. It's not that there aren't natural treatments for less severe mental illness, but until she has been properly evaluated, we can't know what the problem is. We don't know if taking the pills was a one time thing. I don't know what she took or how much, but what if next time she takes five Xanax? Labeling someone with the correct diagnosis band getting proper treatment allows him or her to learn better coping methods and gives the kid the tools needed to be a successful adult. Dealing with this as a family now is proactive so that the years from now, she isn't struggling alone in the adult world. If there is not a serious problem, maybe just having someone to talk to and healthy hobbies are all that is needed. Until she is evaluated, you don't know.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Let me tell you what I wish somebody had done for me at that age:

1. Help me get to an expressive art therapist. Some use music. Or painting. Or drama. Or dance.

2. Equine therapy. There are free and sliding scale equestrian programs for youth and adults. Horses have and transmit a deep calm and help us learn how to achieve this state.

3. Introduced me to meditation and yoga. Especially vipassana. A good intro is a book called loving kindness by Salzberg.

4. Introduced me to a martial art. With private lessons at first. With the right teacher.

The first two of these in particular would give her the support of a trained adult, and a constructive way to express and make sense of her feelings. It would also give her an interest that could serve her whole life.

As we speak I am doing number 1 and 3. I go to a therapist that uses movement and teaches me how to handle my emotions and be in touch and guided by my deepest self. (Who knew?)Had I known this a lifetime ago who knows what my life would have been. And I have been learning Brazilian jiu-jitsu jitsu, a martial art. It is fun.

The thing is you do not really know what she is dealing with. She may be being bullied. Or there could be some other form of pressure or abuse. It may not be her problem but something she does not know how to handle. My martial arts teacher is half my age! But I tell him everything. When I am sad. Overwhelmed. I tell him about my past and who hurt me. He got into this because he was bullied!

The thing is each of these activities would make me feel good about myself. Not diagnosed. Supported. My world would be bigger and richer. And each of these activities would be a means to express and deal with anxiety, overwhelm, or much of what we deal with in life that puts us over the edge, supported.

Shut my mind off could be rumination, obsessive or racing thoughts, even hallucinations. It could also be anxiety. Or guilt.

But the thing is it could be none of these things. She could be a very high achiever and put herself under pressure. But if we think of counselling and therapy as expressing ourselves with support, to understand ourselves and lives, rather than diagnosing or treating, what would be the down side?
 
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Triedntrue

Well-Known Member
The phrase shut my mind off sounds like adhd but cant tell from one line. It is something my son has said to me about his mind moving too fast and not being able to focus. I will tell you though that I was so wrapped up in my difficult child's behavior that my other son was struggling with anxiety and I didn't recognize how bad. I will always feel guilty for that. Anyway when he got diagnosed with anxiety as an adult he blamed me for not catching and treating it when he was a child. If you are able to get her treated and it may not be severe yet I would suggest you at least look into it so that she does not have even more difficulty when she is older.
 

Dory

Member
Hey,
I have had a lot of stuff go down,

We decided to FIND someone for our youngest daughter, no out of the normal teenage girl,but wanted backup for her as she had witnessed a lot. We found the right connection for her. He has been there for five years. She sees him when needed.

I totally agree keep them busy,watch for bullying attach her to a good teacher.

Search her room bathroom for self harm evidence.
 
The phrase shut my mind off sounds like adhd but cant tell from one line. It is something my son has said to me about his mind moving too fast and not being able to focus. I will tell you though that I was so wrapped up in my difficult child's behavior that my other son was struggling with anxiety and I didn't recognize how bad. I will always feel guilty for that. Anyway when he got diagnosed with anxiety as an adult he blamed me for not catching and treating it when he was a child. If you are able to get her treated and it may not be severe yet I would suggest you at least look into it so that she does not have even more difficulty when she is older.

This fits and I am very familiar through experience. We are exploring this possibility.
 
Got appointment with a therapist/coach.

Had a really good discussion with her. It seemed to lift her mood, seemed hopeful.

Will see how it goes.

We are trying to resist the urge to helicopter parent.
 

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
A diagnosis is a starting point in my humble opinion. I was recently diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and since I'm a research junkie, I have something to look up and read about, see what fits and what doesn't, and can make decisions about my treatment and things that can make things easier for me. Before that, I was all over the place, not having any one illness that fit.
 
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