Do you ever

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by barbie, May 3, 2008.

  1. barbie

    barbie MOM of 3

    Do you ever really enjoy going out but dread it at the same time? I absolutely dread having to go out to something I enjoy (dinner, movie) with Eric, his behavior is so out there. He runs in circles, he drags himself on the floor, he hits himself, when I try to get him up he drags himself on the floor using his whole weight. He screams loudly whenever you say no, Its so much work, and sometimes, I just want to stay home but it seems unfair to my girls to not be able to go to a movie theatre with a mom whos ****** because their brother is running away again. I dont even want to go out anymore. Do you ever say, you know what its just too much work to go out and become a homebody?:dissapointed:
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    You mean feeling trapped? Wondering why in the world you ever thought being a mom was what you really wanted maybe more than anything else? Feeling that you need to give your child one more chance (which is actually the 1,345th chance?), that maybe he or she will actually come through this time? Waiting for someone, anyone to walk through that front door so you can say, "Your turn, I am gone for awhile" (I did this once in awhile when husband came home)? Feeling that you are all alone in this behavior - who else would even consider watching young tike for even a few minutes to give you a break? And who would love your angel enough to give the best treatment? Who would refuse to get angry and discipline in a way you would not like? Who would understand how to handle your treasure without upsetting him or her?

    Yep. been there done that atleast a million times. Am sure I will BTdoT again for forever. Well, hope not for forever but it will sure seem like that.

    I wish I could come give you a break so that you can leave Eric at home and have a "girl's night out" atleast once a month.

    Does Eric go to bed before or wake up after the girls? Can you use this time to set up special "Girl Time" (movie, breakfast, ect.)?
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Duckie's difficulties forced husband and I to become serious homebodies for the longest time. The key to surviving it for me (as a stay at home mom) was to find some time away so I could recharge. I imagine some one-on-one time time with each of the girls is in order to keep resentments to a minimum. I found what helped me was to plan ahead to minimize meltdown triggers for Duckie. Plus I developed a very thick skin. I never allowed myself to feel embarrassed by Duckie's behaviors. She was the one acting up, not me. I addressed the behaviors, certainly, but I held my head high when in public because I refuse to feel shame for my girl. ;)
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Barbie, the answer is YES, I hated to take Miss KT anywhere because I couldn't relax and enjoy anything, so I just didn't go. Then I resented it because I felt trapped. Is there anyone who could watch Eric for an afternoon so you and the girls could do something fun?
  5. barbie

    barbie MOM of 3

    I wish, my mom has trouble watching daughter #2 who only has ADHD. We live in the same house and my mom by the way was previously diagnosed as a bipolar schizophrenic with paranoid delusions and suicidal ideations. Yes that was the actual diagnosis, she's gotten, "functional" but now its more like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), she cleans like a million times a day and Eric is way too much for her.

    I give you stay at home mom many many, cookie points cause I could not do that, I would go completely insane, I work for two doctors who are very understanding of my situation, seriously, there was one day I had all three kids with me at work, cause two girls had been sent home with lice and Eric had his EEG.

    Last night we went to the movies, by the way Harold and Kumar escape from Guantanamo Bay is hilarious, and easily a ridiculous distraction. Before the movie, getting tickets, Eric was climbing and falling from the desk, got the tickets, went inside, eric is dragging himself on the floor, in line to get popcorn, eric is running in circles an d dragging himself on the floor, i am just thinking, "Im going to have to wash that clothes", We go in for the movie, eris is running up and down the stairs, eric is running out of the theatre, during the movie eric is laughing, he understood the visual jokes of the movie, the inbred baby cyclops he found hysterical. Eric was talking so loud, he refused to sit down was going between me, my mom and her boyfriend, he has to pee four times, I mean, all I wanted to do was watch the movie.

    Going anywhere is a constant, all about eric show all the time, trying to keep him safe, keep him from running into the street, running away, screaming incomprehendable rantings only he understands, keeping breakdowns to a minimum. Its too hard to go out, and Ive become omewhat anti-social for it, I dont want to go out, I dont want to meet new people, I more than half the time just want to stay home cause I can semi-control the issues there. I have my own issues with just pain, see I have congenital fusion at c2-c3 level and a nerve hardening from c3-c4, and thats just my neck. It takes effort to get up, and not cry or not crack my neck a thousand times. In my lower back I have at my tailbone level I have an overgrowth and the covering of the disc is bulging, so Im almost always in pain. Im not depressed, Im aggravated, cause I hurt and going out with Eric doesnt give me time to hurt. You know what I wouldnt give to get a massage.

    As a matter of fact, I propose for mothers day, we all get massages. One hour full body massages, will do you better than any flowers that will die, better than any candy that will make you gain weight, or any dinner which costs too much time, and energy, and unless diamonds are involved, a massage is just better.I want a massage.