Do you miss anyone deeply especially during holidays ?(stealing this from Reddit)

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SomewhereOutThere, Nov 11, 2018.

  1. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Reddit is a very interesting site if you have never gone. I never post there and have never signed up, but I read various questions and answers by the public and saw this

    I so miss my dear friend and real true sister Maryellyn who passed away too soon. We spent holidays together and I REALLY miss her at Thanksgiving because we were always together then. I miss her so. We were like family is supposed to be. We didnt fight. We supported one another completely. She once stay with her family for three weeks refusing money and I made sure to go to Illinois often and stay close as she fought cancer. I know she is still with me. I feel her often and still confide in her.

    I also always miss my dear grandmother who always tried to love and protect me partly from her own daughter and my father too. I miss many animals I loved who have crossed the rainbow bridge. My cat will be gone this year (tearing up like the baby that I am). It is her first year gone.

    I just read this question on Reddit so I posted it to see if anyone wants to share. I am not sure you will want to but if not....this is my holiday vent. I am missing my sister of choice very much and that triggered this. In many ways i was as close to her as I am to my husband and precious children.

    in a way, you guys are famiily too. I dont really consider family to be DNA. Never did. Thanks for being here always.
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
  2. Elsi

    Elsi Active Member

    I miss my father, who was the only one who understood me as a kid. He died when I was starting high school. I also miss my maternal grandparents, who always accepted me, with all my quirks. I miss my best friend of many years who died of breast cancer two years ago. I miss dear kitty Stellaluna who died a couple months ago, and slept snuggled up against me every night for almost 20 years. And I miss my son N and his family, who live far away and won’t be able to be here this year for holidays.
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  3. ahhjeez

    ahhjeez Active Member

    I miss my dad so much. He died 13 years ago from liver cancer and I don't think I've ever been the same since. It took many, many years for me to not cry when I thought about my dad. I also miss my grandmother. She was the epitome of what I think a grandmother should be. My mother is like that with my son and I am so happy he gets to have that experience as well. She always had my back and was my biggest cheerleader. I was incredibly close to her. I miss my grandfather a lot too. He was such a sweet man. I miss them terribly.
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  4. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    As a little kid my grandma was my savior. I probably would not know healthy love without her because every child needs unconditional love from an adult and she gave me that and even told me "I love brother and sister, but you are special." I never ever stoped thinking of her and know that she would love to be at the holiday table with me and mine.

    There are some angels we never forget and I believe we reunite in the next life across the veil. Our love connection was very special. I was a child with a mood disorder most of my young years and learning disabilities and soft neuroligical symptoms....quirky like you, Else, but difficult at times due to these challenges. She alone accepted me her whole life for who I am and knew I was good and her love helped me heal. We called each other to chat almost every day as long as she lived. We were so close. We even watched soaps on TV at the same time.

    I called her Mom, not Grandma. I was her special grandchild and she meant the world to me. Its always nice when you are a child with differences and somebody loves you for yourself. Honestly, to everyone else I was "bad." They failed to see I had special challenges (I still do and those alive in my teeny FOO still dont accept them). I did escape to find love based on the love of Mom. And my family of choice a accepts me. And so she helped me learn that I deserved love and thatnlove is wonderful. I know she felt love from me too.

    I would love Mom at my family table. She loved babies snd would so adore my grandbaby.
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2018
  5. Tired out

    Tired out Active Member

    Oh yes. I miss my parents, they passed over 20+ years ago. I miss living near family. They are 6+ hours away. Oh well.
    I will just be grateful from my hubby, 2 kids I see all the time and my cats.
    There is a cat I had as a kid I still miss terribly. So many came and went but he was my boy.
  6. Jenna0823

    Jenna0823 Member

    I miss my mom and I miss my granddaughter so much. My addict narcissist daughter has kept her from me for 6 months just to hurt me. But tonight my son was on FaceTime with her and I got to talk to my granddaughter for an hour because my daughter wasn’t home. Today was a good day
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  7. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I miss my parents, especially my mom. I was so young when they passed away - 23 when Mom died, 25 for Daddy. I've been without them longer than I had them...and I sill miss them. This time of year I find myself missing my son...but not the son I have, the son I expected to have. That sounds awful, but I think you understand. He ruined so many holidays in the last years he lived at home...when I should have had that "family" time.
  8. Jenna0823

    Jenna0823 Member

    I get it. I miss the daughter I always wanted and tried to have. She just isn’t that person. Drugs and mental issues keep it from becoming a reality.
  9. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Although I am over it for the most part I miss the Beaver Cleaver/Brady Bunch family where everyone felt love that I never had. Loving Mom, kind strong, supportive Dad, funny, nice sisters and brothers, crazy, nice aunt and uncle, etc.

    But....I sort of have a smaller version of that now.
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2018
  10. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Wow! I just realized how bad that sounds! I DO miss the son I have too. If I didn't, we wouldn't drive two days each way to go see him, even if it is only once a year (we're working on 2).

    I think what I do is not missing, just wistfulness. When I was a kid I'd wake up to the smell of Mom cooking - yep, she got up that early. There were only 4 of us, but she'd do the whole big dinner (usually for lunch or early afternoon). We'd do the turkey and stuffing and sweet potatoes and green bean casserole and homemade bread. I always thought I'd do that too! For a little while I guess I did, but with just me and Jabber and son, it was not quite the same. When son got older, it was even less so. A few times we've had company for Thanksgiving and I liked that. Though one of my most appreciative guests was the one that stole a ton of stuff from us...which puts a pall over the memory. But I love it when someone ooohs and aaahs over the fact you made homemade rolls and such. I don't do anything fancy...but I think when I'm feeding people is the one time I really feel appreciated; like they think I'm special.

    That might explain my weight problem. :p

    I'd LOVE to host Thanksgiving for Jabber's family...but we're outliers, and we travel where they are, instead of the opposite. I guess we can't expect the whole family to come to us. I did make an announcement at church once, that if anyone found themselves without a dinner to go to, to please come to our house. Just call and I'd give directions.

    That didn't happen either. :( But I tried.

    Generally, the holidays just make me kind of sad that they aren't like I want them to be.

    Thread hijacked. :ninja:
  11. Nomad

    Nomad Well-Known Member

    I often miss my dear mom, who died very young.
    I cook the foods she liked and often cooked herself, particularly for Christmas. This now brings me comfort.
    I also miss my female cousin, who also died young.
    She lived across the country, but I would usually get a nice card or letter at holiday time that was special to me.

    Having these big losses early on sometimes gives me “pause,” as I realize my daughter (Difficult Child) and even my son at times, basically have no clue how horrendously difficult it is to lose someone you love deeply early in life and how when they are disrespectful to me it is particularly shocking to me given that I know life and the love of a good parent is fragile and to be valued and respected.
  12. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    YES! Me too! My son is now the age I was when my mother died. There are times I want to mention that to him. Maybe it would shock him a bit, you know?

    But then again, he is trying. He texted yesterday that he was at his new job - first day. He's been out of work since getting let go due to lack of business back in October! He thought he had a job (2 interviews and a meeting with the manager) but he called and left a number of messages asking when he was to start, and they never called back. To his credit, while waiting, he kept looking other places. He does seem to finally understand that you have to work. I've been so worried! His text took a load off my mind.
  13. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Lil, I remember when your son wouldnt even get out of bed lol. I give him big kudos. He is maybe a few years in a lag behind some peers but he is trying to be a man. Any news about wedding plans?

    Today my daughters (all my girls are in town including my little grand) are going to get me a dress for the wedding...hopefully. its the third trip for that purpose but I keep stalling. I am losing weight and I want the dang dress to fit and she isnt getting married until August! But she is so excited. I just told her I would buy any dress she likes on me. Its her wedding, her forever pictures of me and I am not one who worries about fashion or how I think I look.

    Better get ready to go. The store isnt close. They will be coming to get me soon.

    Send us any updates on the groom!! And his lovely lady too,! Never forget the progress! Your son has really grown up.
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2018
  14. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    That's why there are seamstresses! Just try to get something that's rather streamlined and it will be easy to take in. You can get it a tad snug now, and hopefully it won't need much more than a tuck here and there by August.

    I thought you were already a skinny-Minnie. :)

    No date for the wedding. We were supposed to go look at a place she's interested in when we were out there, but turns out that park/waterfall/area usually has an admission fee, so we didn't go. She did say her mom was going to take her dress we'll see. I pointed out that wedding venues book up to a year in advance. It may be more than a year before the knot is officially tied. She already refers to herself as his wife.

    Ah Young Love. :inlove:
  15. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    Lil, that is so

    Yeah, the venues fill up a year early. Its nuts.
  16. Elsi

    Elsi Active Member

    Are they looking specifically for an outdoor venue or are they exploring all options at this point? My daughter and her husband got married at the college they graduated from, and had the reception catered by the college, too. I’ve learned a lot of colleges offer wedding services and you don’t have to be an alum! It was half the cost of a traditional wedding venue and they did a great job. I don’t think they book up as fast, either, because most people don’t consider it. (They did get some razzing about having the reception catered by the same campus food service they had all been complaining about for four years, but their special occasion fare wasn’t the same as their daily line!) And a lot of colleges have beautiful chapels! It never would have occurred to me before they did it, but it turned out beautifully. Even better - the kids paid for it themselves! :)

    N and his wife had a courthouse wedding followed by an outdoor bbq reception. Which was fun and thrifty. Lots of ways to do it, and they don’t all have to be expensive!
  17. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    Mom??? :eek:

    No, LOL! :p But Jabber and I did the exact same thing!

    I think it's all kind of up in the air. I know she wants a very small wedding and would be happy to go to the courthouse and then have a party afterwards. Her mom wants to invite relatives from other countries she's never even met! So...

    Not my circus, not my monkeys! All I have to do is, if they want me to, kick in a few bucks.

    The joy of being Mother of the Groom! ;)