easy child having a hard time...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gadawg27, Dec 6, 2009.

  1. gadawg27

    gadawg27 New Member

    So my difficult child seems to be squared away so far with his medications, but we have seen an unexpected side effect...the effect it's having on easy child!!

    She's so used to having him entertain her or aggravate her all the time that she has started mimicking his old behaviors for attention! She has become moody, whiny, bossy, and rude...and she was such a sweet little angel before! She's constantly trying to annoy him and get him in trouble, and now she's even started acting like the old difficult child when he's not around too just to get under MY skin! I know that in some ways she really misses her brother the way he was...but I'm at a loss for how to help her deal with the change. Has anyone else dealt with this?? Would love some advice on this one...she's driving me bonkers! :ashamed:
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow, I haven't heard that one before! LOL!
    The good thing is that she's only 2. You can find more constructive ways to distract her, entertain her, educate her. Sheesh.
    I'd try something that the two of them can do together ... maybe since it's winter, sliding? Oh, wait, you're in GA.
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    With all due respect, do you know much about the typical development of two-year-olds? The professionals don't call it the "terrible two's" for nothing. I'm wondering if she's just gotten to this stage of development.

    An excellent book on this age is Your Two-Year-Old by Louise Bates Ames and Frances Ilg.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Whether it is "typical" 2yo stuff or trying to get attention the wrong ways because she saw her brother do it, the best books in my opinion are Love & Logic Magic for Early Childhood and The Explosive Child. The Early Childhood section of the forum has a thread at the top about adapting TEC for very young children. It is simply amazing!

    The Love and Logic book is what saved my children's lives at 2-3 yos. Personally I thought 2 was awesome and funny and 3 was MUCH worse, but my husband thought the opposite. We both found help with this book.

    The 2 books can be used together and neither one is as heavy to read as some parenting books are.

    Another thing to consider is that 2-3 is about the time many of our kids start showing their disorders through difficult behaviors. I am NOT saying your daughter will automatically have some disorder. It doesn't work that way.

    However, I would estimate that 90%+ of us started out with ADHD diagnosis for our difficult children. It took years after that for all of the behaviors to show and to get the docs to help us identify them. With an older sibling with ADHD your little one does have a risk of ADHD or another problem. But it is NOT guaranteed. Just something to keep your eye on. Maybe keep a calendar of what you do each day and what problems you have. That way if there IS a problem you iwll have some notes to help you figure it out.

    Chances are it is a combo of toddler behaviors and maybe some less desirable learned behaviors from her brother.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'd keep an eye on her. Kids don't usually copy bad behavior. She is getting to that age where you may see things you missed before. I hope it's just a stage, but you need to consider that maybe it's not. Since she is too young to articulate why she is behaving in such a way, you can't really know her reasons. in my opinion you may be attaching more motives for her behavior than a two year old is capable of. Maybe next time you take difficult child for treatment, you can bring her along for observation?

    I sure wish you good luck!
  6. I agree with the comments that she is copying behavior. One comment that I didn't see; my easy child will be a perfect angel when difficult child is not "well". His first sentence at 15 months was about what a good boy he was - husband didn't believe that he could act a certain way at that point, and easy child promptly correct him; all the while difficult child was rolling on the ground and screaming at dinner.

    My easy child has and still does the same, a lot of time it's because, I think, we're exhausted from difficult child and still not giving easy child the "attention" he needs (he gets lots in general, even with difficult child - we have 2 grandparents living at home).

    My easy child has understood from a very young age that difficult child is different . . . and he (easy child) does and has always required a lot of 1/1 time.