DGD having psychotic break

[ksm]

Quick back story... she, her boyfriend and their baby went to Seattle area in June this year to stay with her bio mom. They were baducally homeless here in our town and "wanted a fresh start" in a new location. But they never started adukting and or working in the lastv6 months,

boyfriend was abusive there, as he has been since they mm et at high school when she was 14. Off and on relationship for 1/3 of her life! In November he was jailed for domestic abuse.and got out of jail last week. There is a 5 year fourth ordered no contact order.

She asked me to take the baby home for several weeks and then she planned on coming home. I flew back with my great grandson 12/6. 9n Christmas day she called and I knew things were not right. She was talking about God talking to her...not in a spiritual way...but actually hearing his voice. And that she could see demons around her...and there was a demon in her and she needed yo find a high priest! The next night she called and wanted an ambulance called to the RV her mom and her live in behind a friend's house. But then she either canceled the ambulance or refused to go when it arrived.

Her mom was to take her to a hospital today under the pretense of getting her iud checked. But to actually get her crisis mental health care.., I never heard back from either of them. DGD doesn't have a phone...uses her mom's or asks friends to use theirs.

She called me at 3am a while ago. Said she was at a warming shelter at a church and she needed help. Said she hot a ride there from someone she trusted, when I tried to tell her she needed to go to a hospital, she hung up on me. I call the number back and it just goes to voice mail. I called twice. I then see that I had a message from her mom, that she (mom) was admitted to a hospital for infection in her foot and that Alyssa was at the RV. I called her cell twice. No answer. Left messages that she wasn't at the RV but at a warming center.

I call the crisis Iine...I believe they have started a file about her based on her cousin calling them two jights ago. But because of the snow storm they would not send the crisis team out. They told me to call 911 for their area. I got a hold I f them and told them...and now police are suppose to call me back.

I have been researching psychotic breaks and it sounds like it is sometimes brought on by high levels of stress. Which she has had because of the abuse. And of course, genetics, which I now learn that bio mom says her bio dads sister was instutionalized for schizophrenia. And then there found be psychosis brought on by psychedelic or hallucinogenic drugs. There is a history of meth abuse... but she denies recent usage,

So it looks like she may have hit the trufecta for mental illness. I am glad that we have her 20 month old son with us, but I think she started regretting having him come stay with us. He may had been what helped her stay connected to reality.

I am more frightened for her safety than I have ever been...and there is nothing I can do from 1500 miles away.

Advice? Prayers? Infornation? I will take it!! Ksm

 

[BusynMember1]

Hi, sweet lady. I happened to get up early, saw this and wanted to respond. Terrible scary stuff....would not be surprised if she lied about taking meth and that that caused this. It is so frustrating that people in psychosis can chose not to get help. Pray hard and it seems likely that eventually she will be taken to the hospital by cops. I don't know if the cops have to listen to her wishes. People...somebody...have to be noticing she is "off." Maybe she will ask to borrow a phone. Or perhaps the psychosis will get better.
I wish I had more to offer, but I will pray with you and please update us.

 

[ksm]

Thanks, Busy. It sounds like the crisis team has a "file" started. 911 dispatch talked like the police would call me back. They have not and it has been 5 hours... and with a 2 hour time difference it wi,will, be 2 or 3 more hours when the police fhones are answered. I am so frustrated and scared. Ksm

 

[ksm]

I got a text from her bio mom (my ex dtr inlaw) and she has come back home and is sleeping at a neighbors house. The police 8s suppose to call me back as I want to see what we can do to get her help...and if a temporary hospital admission might be possible to be evaluated. Ksm

 

[Nandina]

KSM, I am so sorry you’re dealing with this. I am in the same situation only my son is in jail. I am just learning all of it, especially about psychosis, schizophrenia, etc. so I am not the best to advise, but I have learned that psychotic breaks from meth can be intermittent and in some people the breaks may eventually end completely, while others can continue to have them for years, depending on years addicted, how much meth, what type, etc. New meth is much worse if you can imagine meth being any worse.

This has been in the news recently, you might have seen it. I found it interesting and especially from the point of view of a meth addict who had been through both the old and new meth.

I’m sure others who have more experience with mental illness will chime in.

I will certainly pray for you and your family. This I can do with certainty. Hugs

 

[Copabanana]

Advice? Prayers? Infornation? I will take it!! Ksm

Dear Ksm:

A number of us are now dealing with possible psychosis in our children. I know I am. It's terrifying.

I will only say this. Right now you've got to keep yourself secure and calm and connected. You've got the baby and so much more responsibility. I would say that there is a silver lining to dgd's situation, right now. Different levels of care and intervention seem to have been immobilized around her (church, medical, police, etc.. It seems that bio-Mom is recognized the danger dgd is in and may not want it around her. That may mean that daughter will have to go to live in some sort of safe and supported shelter or program, where she can receive intervention for domestic violence, mental illness, and drug use.

It may be that the baby kept your dgd tethered to reality, but at real cost to him, both in the present and future. Maybe she will be mobilized to help herself in order to be the good mother she has the potential to be. How is the baby?

Am I understanding correctly that the father can't go near your dgd for 5 years? Oh happy day!

 

[ksm]

Thanks Nandina and Copa. She called this afternoon and was still focusing on talk about demons. T by en tonight she just called and sounded stronger and didn't mention demons once! She talked to baby and he was excited to hear her voice,

I am hoping she is on her way out of that fog... she even wants to fly here in several days. Crossing my fingers. Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

I hope so much your dgd flies home ksm.

 

[Copabanana]

Any news Ksm, from daughter? Happy New Year!

 

[ksm]

Today I bought a ticket for a one way flight...1500 miles...but no stops or layovers, because I was afraid of losng her in another city. She should be home Sunday by 1pm. Unfortunately, her ex is headed back to this town on Saturday, I can't catch a break. I am trying to figure out if that is why she is returning. But, she did say she didn't want to fly home Saturday as she didn't want to be at the airport when he was there.

But, is she just trying to protect him because of the court order?? Drives me crazy..,but one of us has to stay sane.

Yesterday she mentioned demons again...says when she was 14 she tried to summon a demon as she thought it was a joke but it must have worked. This is not a belief we have nor part of our religion. Then she said she wanted to be baptized...as our church does classes for high schoolers who want to be baptized. I think she just wants someone to baptize her but probably does not want the classes that hoes with it. But, our pastor said she is willing to talk to her..,but said mental health is not her strong point,

Without playing in to her beliefs...I have tried to reassure her that demons have no power to a believer...that the Bible says we only need to be still and G*d will fight our battles. While I do believe that there is evil in the world, I believe that people can choose not to do evil.

Anyway, I am worried that if she doesn't get over this soon, and there is a custody issue, she will not looked at as a responsible parent. Just more things to worry about.

I did talk to the neighbor who says she will get her to the airport... hopefully, it all happens.

Ksm

 

[Acacia]

I have no experience in the realm of psychosis, but I just want to say that my heart goes out to you regarding the level of stress you are under and the fears for your daughter's safety. My daughter has only been in domestic violence situations, so I do understand how scary that is.

It sounds as though you are doing all you can on your end; the outcome is out of your hands. Take care of yourself and your precious grandchild. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

 

[ksm]

Am I understanding correctly that the father can't go near your dgd for 5 years? Oh happy day!

copa... it is my understanding that the 5 year no contact order is only good in WA. I believe if she requested it, maybe it could be enforced here. But if I were to try to do that...she would just say I am trying to run her life. Because when she was 14 to 17 I did try to keep them apart, as she was deemed a child in need of care because of her sneaking out and running away.

It will be like treading on thin ice....again... ksm

 

[Copabanana]

the Bible says we only need to be still and G*d will fight our battles.

ksm. This is beautiful and so, so important to remember, for me.

While I do believe that there is evil in the world, I believe that people can choose not to do evil.

Yes.

I am worried that if she doesn't get over this soon, and there is a custody issue, she will not looked at as a responsible parent. Just more things to worry about.

Baby steps, ksm. I believe that part of the problem for her now is that she is so far away from you, and what she knows. I believe she will try to stabilize, and then she will move beyond this. However horrible is this man's influence on her, she seems to know always where her stability is. What else can we think, and operate from, is this hope, for her children? I am in the same place.

I think you're right to not get into a power play with her about this guy.

That is terrible that the restraining order/or non-contact order, whatever it is called, might only be in that other state. But who knows, maybe it will temper his behavior. Is it that this guy has no self-control at all or this is all that he is?

 

[ksm]

Copa... he has several charges in our town for battery and DV. He had put his wife in the hospital twice several years ago. He is still married...as he doesn't work and does not have money for a divorce. One perk of him bring married is that my grand daughter can not marry him. The baby he and his wife had was premature and addicted. They never got to take him home...her mom got custody and adopted.

I heard from his step mom that he has probably missed his flight home from today. They don't know where he is...he didn't even tell his mom or dad that he was returning home. The airport is an hour from our town. They only know because my DGDs biomom texted them that he didn't spend the night where he had been staying...and didn't think he made it to the airport. I guess she had arranged a ride for him.

I hope history doesn't repeat itself when my grand is supposed to fly home tomorrow.

Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

I hope and believe dgd will come home tomorrow. Despite her bad judgement about this horrible man I believe that she wants to do the right thing and wants to be a good mother. In her heart she knows she is over her head and without resources where she is, and does not have the support she needs. Is bio-mom going to help her arrange the covid test, ride to the airport, etc.?

 

[ksm]

No covid test... just a few questions to see if you have been sick or around someone with covid. The lady taking her has told me yesterday that she will take her and today texted me she would take her. I think she just wants to get her off their property.

This lady lives in the main house...and DGD and bio mom live in an RV behind them.

Her x boyfriend missed his flight today. I am afraid they are regrouping just to start up again here. SMH.

Ksm

 

[Copabanana]

I am afraid they are regrouping just to start up again here.

Oh gee. I sure hope not.

 

[ksm]

Hi, it's KSM, I am logging is as a guest. For some reason it says I need to update my account and the site is sending me a confirmation email, but it doesn't. And I can't post as myself or respond to messages.

We still have our great grandson here with us. I have been on an exhausting ride of having DGD beg to come home and be with her son, I have bought multiple tickets, made multiple arrangements to drive her to the airport. And she either misses the flight, changes her mind, asks me to put boyfriend (the one with the 5 year no contact restraining order) name on the ticket, or she wonders off and then calls and doesn't know where she is. Yesterday she pulled the same stunt...walking away before 4 am without her phone, purse, ID, no coat and just a blanket she took from a lady who befriended her. That lady, Molly, reported her as a missing endangered person. About 10 hours later DGD was knocking on random doors and finally someone called the police to help her.

The crisis mental health team had been notified multiple times so had her info on file. I asked the police not to just let her go, but to let the crisis team try to get her help. So she was taken to a special shelter where a "navigator" tries to give then resources to improve their situation. But the laws in this northwestern state changed this past year and there are no involuntary methods to get help. The police actually told me if she wanted to sit out in freezing rain with a blanket until she froze to death, they had no way to force her to go to a shelter.

Where she was yesterday, she may not be there today. And they won't tell me if she walks away. And unless DGD contacts me, I can't contact her, unless it is thru her phone. They won't give them rides away from this facility, but will arrange rides to be admitted, seek mental or medical care, and even help get her to the airport.

I have had a phone call, but I couldn't really hear her well...maybe my phone, or maybe she didn't put the phone near her mouth. She texted me during the night asking me "where are you?" It is heartbreaking. I have texted her this morning telling her I am at home, caring for your son, and hoping you get the help to return here."

The police and the navigator believe her psychosis is drug related.

I will update as I can. I hope I can get my account reset. Otherwise I will try to post as a guest. Ksm

 

[SeekingStrength]

KSM,

I am so sorry; this is heartbreaking. Glad your great grandson is safe & loved & warm with you.