HeadlightsMom
Well-Known Member
Just a little update.... Things continue fairly well here with difficult child, but I do notice some changes. Some good (The Flow), some less good (The Ebb)
Flow --- difficult child still has his job (though it was questionable if he'd keep it days ago). Proud of him for rebounding and working through it with his workplace manager. In general, he continues to treat us fairly well. No outward signs of drug use (we remain alert, though) and no sign of theft (not a problem.......we got a bigger lockbox just in case! LOL!)
Ebb --- As we haven't spent this much time with difficult child in years, it's a little too easy (for him and for us) to slide back into old patterns. As I noticed this, sat him down and said exactly that. He said he understood. Mostly, I think he does. However, I do note him beginning to take us for granted a little. Not rudely, but just assuming we'll always be home with nothing else to do than to help him out. Uh.....no. We have jobs, lives, etc., too. I am off work today, though (I sub) and he wanted me to do something for him. As this is my day off, I drew the line in the sand and said, "No, not today. Today is my day of rest." Maybe tomorrow.
Lastly, it is astounding to discover how many genuine gaps he has in how "clean living" works. As some of his issues are bigger than we (the parents) are, I did a little research for whom to hand the baton to to assist him in finding housing and medical/mental health options. SCORED on finding a great agency I'd never even heard of until last week! Took him down there, helped him fill out paperwork and explain certain words/concepts, then advised him I was handing him and the agency the baton. He is an adult and needs to do this himself (in tandem with assistance). That's how the rest of us adults do it, that's how he needs to learn how to do it. Will see how it goes...........knock wood.
But, on the fun side, husband and I did manage to get out to a Halloween costume party which was awesome! husband was a Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes Gone Wild (think Flintstones cartoon) and I was Smurf Helga the Vicious Viking. husband found a silver circus ringmaster suit and I found viking armor and painted my face blue (along with long blonde wig)........and..........we both wore Viking horns! Sometimes, it's all about the hats!
Fun fills our souls and is quite necessary to squeeze in whenever possible!
Flow --- difficult child still has his job (though it was questionable if he'd keep it days ago). Proud of him for rebounding and working through it with his workplace manager. In general, he continues to treat us fairly well. No outward signs of drug use (we remain alert, though) and no sign of theft (not a problem.......we got a bigger lockbox just in case! LOL!)
Ebb --- As we haven't spent this much time with difficult child in years, it's a little too easy (for him and for us) to slide back into old patterns. As I noticed this, sat him down and said exactly that. He said he understood. Mostly, I think he does. However, I do note him beginning to take us for granted a little. Not rudely, but just assuming we'll always be home with nothing else to do than to help him out. Uh.....no. We have jobs, lives, etc., too. I am off work today, though (I sub) and he wanted me to do something for him. As this is my day off, I drew the line in the sand and said, "No, not today. Today is my day of rest." Maybe tomorrow.
Lastly, it is astounding to discover how many genuine gaps he has in how "clean living" works. As some of his issues are bigger than we (the parents) are, I did a little research for whom to hand the baton to to assist him in finding housing and medical/mental health options. SCORED on finding a great agency I'd never even heard of until last week! Took him down there, helped him fill out paperwork and explain certain words/concepts, then advised him I was handing him and the agency the baton. He is an adult and needs to do this himself (in tandem with assistance). That's how the rest of us adults do it, that's how he needs to learn how to do it. Will see how it goes...........knock wood.
But, on the fun side, husband and I did manage to get out to a Halloween costume party which was awesome! husband was a Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes Gone Wild (think Flintstones cartoon) and I was Smurf Helga the Vicious Viking. husband found a silver circus ringmaster suit and I found viking armor and painted my face blue (along with long blonde wig)........and..........we both wore Viking horns! Sometimes, it's all about the hats!
Fun fills our souls and is quite necessary to squeeze in whenever possible!