End result of truancy meeting.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, May 24, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    kt has spent the last 2 days in high anxiety & crisis mode. The only thing she heard at the truancy meeting was "we can put you in foster care if you don't go to school".

    No one can convince her that she isn't going to foster care. She doesn't believe it. She's sleeping again with her eyes open & needs someone in the room with her at all times. Needs continual reassurance that we are her parents; her forever parents.

    I need to work out the next step for her.

    This was not at all an appropriate response to kt's many absences while in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The "scared straight" talk before the hearing was a one size fits all & backfired.

    I'm looking at other options - kt needs a consequence for school refusal; this seems to have been overkill.

  2. On_Call

    On_Call New Member


    I'm so sorry this has turned into a tailspin for kt. Two steps forward and several back, huh? Of course there should probably be a consequence for truancy, but obviously it needs to be an appropriate one, although I cannot imagine what that might be. So sorry the anxiety of foster care is back in the forefront of kt's mind right now. Jeesh.

    Many hugs to you. Hoping your reassurances to kt over the next few days sinks in.
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I wondered what the foster care talk was going to do to kt. I'm sorry she's struggling. I'm glad CM fought the good fight for her.
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Can you feed back to those who organised this talk? They need to know that this was a bad call in kt's case and is likely to lead to MORE refusal, not less, due to her anxiety.

  5. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Marg, it's already being taken care of ... I've contacted the district attorney's office to discuss the situation. I spoke with her assistant & her office is becoming more & more aware of mental health problems & school attendance.

    It's going to be a tough sell for kt as her sense of self & permanency, which has been tenuous at best, is now totally out of whack. It's taken years for us to get her to this level.

    There has got to be a better way to do this - I explained that the majority of kt's absences were in a medical/psychiatric facilty; if staff determined kt was unable to attend school it should be excused.

  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    This "one size fits all" doesn't work for our kids anywhere.

    That's exactly what I was wondering about. It is infuriating when an authority figure can wipe out years of hard work by numerous people with one fell-swoop of the mouth.

    I'm so sorry.
  7. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    So sorry for you and kt.
  8. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Its probably not going to happen, but any chance the person who said that could or would have another meeting with kt and tell her he was wrong, she can not be sent to foster care over this?
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I like Shari's idea. Hard to tell if it would work or not.

    Oh, Linda I'm so sorry. This is something I worried about with this meeting. :frown:

    I wonder....If missing school, despite her stability level is such an issue with them, maybe you all could work on a solution. I wonder if it would be possible for kt's teachers to "teach" kt the lessons via computer on days she just can't make it to the school. With scanners and such these days it probably wouldn't be much work for teachers to scan homework assignments and instructions to and send to kt thru email and for kt to return them. And kt can email any questions she has to her teachers. Then kt could keep up with the class on days going to school is just not gonna happen. (I'm also thinking here if kt can keep up with classwork it might help some anxiety over school)

    With the online school N has attended the past 2 yrs this is sort of how it's done. Although hw doesn't need to be scanned in because they have their own site everything is loaded on to.

    You'd think with all of the coping ideas they can come up with for many of the physical illnesses that keep children out of school some smart person could come up with a workable idea for kt. :slap:

    Linda I know you and husband have worked so darn hard to get kt to the level of security she was at. Makes me furious to think it possible one unthinking person might have distroyed it.

  10. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Many prayers and gentle hugs to ktbug.

  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I am in total agreement with that statement - those absences should be excused. Kinda seems like a no-brainer!

    Perhaps, since you are making more and more folks aware of mental health issues, the school can find a way to provide kt with some sort of instruction on days she cannot make it to school.

    Sorry kt is having such a tough time.

  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Thank you ladies - the frustration is that I can tell when kt is out & out refusing school versus PTSD mode. However, it's unlikely I'll be able to get an excuse from a doctor every time kt is in PTSD mode.

    She's missed 23 days of school this year. Twenty of them in Residential Treatment Center (RTC).

    I'll get this figured out - if I have any magic solutions I'll share them with you all.

    Again - thank you.
  13. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Posts like this tell me I am getting old. My reaction is close
    to "over the edge". Vulgar words that I don't use pop into my
    head and violent tendencies that are almost non-existent in my
    being are coming to the fore. Good Grief I am sick of the Monday
    morning quarterbacking of the school system!!!!!!!!

    Sending supportive hugs. DDD
  14. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I don't understand why this is even an issue for you. Can't your doctor simply write a blanket excuse based on mental health issues?

    We used to have a rule about not missing more than 10 days of a high school class or the student would not receive credit for the course. The exception, of course, was medically related excuses (with a doctor's note). One of my neighbor's daughters had chronic sinus headaches and my neighbor just got the doctor to write a blanket excuse for all of her absences stating she had a chronic condition. My school accepted it and just excused all further absences.

    It sounds like that is something that would work in kt's case. I don't see why the 20 days that she missed in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) should even count anyway. She was in a medical facility for heaven's sake.

  15. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Oh Linda...:( I'm so sorry.
  16. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    You know, this whole thing is just very bizarre to me. Considering KTs background and diagnoses, I'm incredulous that she would be put through such an ordeal. Do these truancy people have an IQ of a knat?

    I understand wanting to address the truancy, but by threatening her with being placed in foster care????


    I'm sorry the whole family has to be put through this.