Evil double-edged sword!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Peace Please, Jul 2, 2011.

  1. Peace Please

    Peace Please New Member

    DF is thinking about moving Little from the special school he is enrolled in to public school this fall, and we both think it's part good idea and part bad idea, and I thought it would be a good idea to get opinions from all of you wonderful people too. Here are our thoughts:

    1. Little is a very intelligent kid, and most of the day at this school is spent on behavioral issues. Little will be going into the 8th grade this fall, and he just learned long-division at the end of this school year, and all of his other subjects are just as behind. His testing has always shown that he is very intelligent and is capable of doing the work. We also found out this year, that the ADHD diagnosis has been dismissed. There are no learning disabilities, just behavioral issues. We both don't think that this is preparing Little for adult life. He is completely capable of graduating high school to all of his academic testing. Also, Little has been attending this school since 1st grade, and they have made NO progress with his behavior because Little doesn't want any help. He doesn't think his behavior is wrong!!!

    2. The school Little has been attending does not include a 12th grade, so if he were to continue into high-school, he would have to move to a public school for 12th grade in order to graduate. I guess this is a continuation of the above. We both want him to be able to graduate and he is so behind, is he being set up for failure when that time comes? We also think that switching a year before high school should make the transition and catch-up easier for him.

    3. Seeing as Little is attending a school for children with behavioral issues, all of his friends are just like him. DF had to block 2 of his best friends on Facebook because they were posting about killing their parents, and yes, we reported this to the police and the school. However, Little sees these kids every day at school, and who knows what they talk about there?

    4. These kids at school also know all of Little's buttons and enjoy pushing them, and seeing as all of his problems are behavioral, this interferes with everyone's learning. We think that where it will be stressful for Little to meet new friends, he may be able to meet some friends who are a good influence on him, as much of a dream as that is.

    5. We are both concerned about the method the school is using to teach Little anger control. Little is allowed to leave whatever he is doing and go to talk to the counselor until he calms down whenever he gets upset. In theory, this is a good method, but we believe that Little is using this set-up to his advantage. Suspiciously, these blow-ups always seem to happen whenever a test is scheduled or he is asked to do anything he doesn't want to do. The teachers have all told us that there never seems to be a trigger for these outbursts, he just blows up. He does the same thing at home whenever he is asked to do something he doesn't want to do. The teachers, of course, caught onto this behavior this past year, and have tried to call him on it and change the way they handle it by asking him to calm down in another area of the classroom, but that sends him into a rage. At this point, they call DF for emergency removal from school because they can't handle him anymore.

    Now, we know that this kind of transition would be very stressful for Little, but we think that the above things are good reasons to move him to public school. What does everyone else think?
  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    There are always pros and cons when changing schools. I thought about it long and hard and in the end, it was difficult child's lack of performance and numerous absences that sealed the deal.
    I can see the issues with-Little being influenced by other out-of-control kids if he is at a behavioral school. But there are kids like that in other schools, too. However, there are also more kids, in general, so maybe he will meet some who don't have behavior issues.
    Since he's that far behind, he is going to need a special plan to catch up. I can't imagine how the teacher will be able to teach him when he should be doing pre-algebra.
    It seems like he still needs to get a grip on his ADHD, and I don't know if he's on medications or what, but task completion is a big deal at this age. My son stayed after school two days a wk and did most of his homework there. It really helped. Far fewer blowups at home.
    Does Little generally get along with-his teachers?
    What are the plans for blowups at his new school? What sort of team do they have and how do they handle kids like Little?