I just found this forum, and am hoping I can get some recommendations from you all . . . This is going to be long, but background is needed. To start, my son was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, intermittent explosive disorder, mild anxiety and depression when he was 8 years old. I fought the school district prior to, asking for special help for my child; got the run around, finally got private testing done which they agreed to accept and an IEP was implemented. He also began on Wellbutrin. Shortly thereafter, I became very ill, had surgery 2 times in 2 months, and his father filed a motion for custody. No longer the optimal parent because of my illness, I sent him to live with his dad while maintaining very active visitation.
Then find out his dad thinks I'm nuts for ever getting him tested, the only problem is "bad mothering" and that is why behavior improved when he moved in with him. Of course, it really was because measures were in place for him in school and the medication was having good effects. Continuing a couple years down the road, child is 10, grades have improved and no substantial problems other than "fitting in". School motions to dismiss him from Special Education program, that Gage's disability no longer interrupts with his ability to learn, father agrees, he is removed from program. Shortly thereafter father discontinues medications AND counseling. Grades start to slip, social problem occur at school, child starts getting detentions and suspensions. On an impulsive act (and because his father left it lying around), child brings knife to school - wants to show kids who have been picking on him the knife so they'll think he's "cool" and leave him alone. Never wanted to use it on anyone. After getting it to school, decides against it, and puts it in his locker for the day. Between classes, another child sees the knife in his locker and turns him in. No tolerance for weapons - he's expelled. This is a small town school - they gave me no recommendations for programs or on how to continue his education other than "get him a tutor and some counseling". Gee, thanks.
I have filed a motion with the courts to return custody to myself. I live in a larger school district, and am currently calling everyone I can to find if they have a program I can get him into (they will honor the other school's expulsion). Not having much luck even getting return phone calls. Since he was "disqualified" from Special Education, I don't know what my options are and I'm getting help from no one! I doubt I'll find anyone to accept a 12 yo child in daycare, and there is NO WAY I'll leave him at home while I work; there is no way I cannot work; and he MUST continue his education. Any suggestions on what I can possibly do?
Then find out his dad thinks I'm nuts for ever getting him tested, the only problem is "bad mothering" and that is why behavior improved when he moved in with him. Of course, it really was because measures were in place for him in school and the medication was having good effects. Continuing a couple years down the road, child is 10, grades have improved and no substantial problems other than "fitting in". School motions to dismiss him from Special Education program, that Gage's disability no longer interrupts with his ability to learn, father agrees, he is removed from program. Shortly thereafter father discontinues medications AND counseling. Grades start to slip, social problem occur at school, child starts getting detentions and suspensions. On an impulsive act (and because his father left it lying around), child brings knife to school - wants to show kids who have been picking on him the knife so they'll think he's "cool" and leave him alone. Never wanted to use it on anyone. After getting it to school, decides against it, and puts it in his locker for the day. Between classes, another child sees the knife in his locker and turns him in. No tolerance for weapons - he's expelled. This is a small town school - they gave me no recommendations for programs or on how to continue his education other than "get him a tutor and some counseling". Gee, thanks.
I have filed a motion with the courts to return custody to myself. I live in a larger school district, and am currently calling everyone I can to find if they have a program I can get him into (they will honor the other school's expulsion). Not having much luck even getting return phone calls. Since he was "disqualified" from Special Education, I don't know what my options are and I'm getting help from no one! I doubt I'll find anyone to accept a 12 yo child in daycare, and there is NO WAY I'll leave him at home while I work; there is no way I cannot work; and he MUST continue his education. Any suggestions on what I can possibly do?