Before I even start I just want to say that 1) No, I am not a homicidal nutjob, and 2) I realize that I am luckier than most. I am sooooOOOoooOOooo peeved right now I can barely speak. I wish I could close my office door and scream...or better yet...I wish I could run screaming from the building and just go home. I'm on the verge of tears, I'm so frustrated. Each year, we all get bonuses on the 15th of December - end of year/holiday bonus. I have consistently received a VERY nice bonus. Well, this year, I barely received half of what I normally would, however, everyone's was lower than usual as business was down. Despite the dissappointment, I feel very grateful for any bonus at all - after all, there are those who receive nothing, and some who don't even have a job, so, believe me, I am grateful. Well, today I checked my on line account and my regular salary deposit is in there, but no bonus. Also, the bookkeeper (the one who took over my job last year) did not send me the paychecks via courier to hand out today as she usually does. So, I emailed her to ask about the stubs and to also inquire about the bonuses being deposited today. No response. Then I asked a co-worker I know was scheduled to receive a bonus if he happened to check his on line account and he said that he did and his entire bonus was there. Hmmmmm. So, I called the bookkeeper lady on her cell, thinking she must be working out of the office, and she didn't answer her phone. Odd, when she's here she is always on her cell. I have felt my boss (brother in law) pushing me outside of the managerial loop for over a year now. He has moods where he gets all squierelly with me and company information. I am the office manager so I am usually privy to confidential information - his behavior is odd. Anyway, I just feel something funny is going on. And I'm too upset to go and ask him. Maybe if I don't hear back from the bookkeeper after lunch, I will go ask him. You know when your insides feel like a percolator? Well, yeah, that's how my insides feel. I was relying on this bonus money to see me through the end of the month and help cover some holiday expenses. It's not enough to provide a cushion as it usually is, but at least to help out. And now it's not there and I'm just so upset about it, nervous as I feel like I'm walking the plank and what I don't even know. Maybe it was just a fluke accident, but it doesn't feel like it. It could be my PMS acting up, I do get paranoid, but again, it feels like something more. My brother in law can be a game player. For instance he may have told her to hold it until the 31st so that I would have to go to him and inquire about it and he'd get the pleasure of a) watching me squirm and b) being delighted at my disappointment. I don't know. It just ****.