First time in 17 years

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by nvts, Apr 7, 2010.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    that I haven't seen or spoken to husband. It feels very strange. I'm not going to call him - don't worry about that, but I feel tearful...I don't get it. Very odd indeed.

    I did take the kids for a hike on a wooded trail today after dinner - we made our own pizzas and headed on out. Evie waved and said "hi" to everyone we passed and the older kids pet every dog.

    Oh well, this too shall pass...

  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    What you're feeling is quite normal. It's a form of grief, and will have the stages of grief. It helps if you can remember that, at least it did me when husband and I separated many years ago. For a while I felt like I was missing the other half of myself. I really weird and sad thing.

  3. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I've never been through a divorce, but am widowed. Please remember that grief is normal and it doesn't come in easily recognizeable stages in a certain order. You will feel what you feel, when you feel it, and that doesn't mean you are "doing it wrong".

    Make sure the kids understand that as well.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    With both my divorces (Hubby is Husband 3.0), I was sad because of what could have been, and yet there was a touch of relief that there was no more arguing, no more passive-aggressive BS, no more (fill in the blank). Still, I felt as though I was starting all over again, and wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to do. There are no right answers; it's about building a life that feels safe and comfortable for you and the kids.

    A book I read during my first divorce said that a "grieving rule of thumb" was to allow one month for every year you were together before making any major changes, if possible. I didn't follow that the first time, and made an even bigger mess for myself. The second time, I tried it, and things went somewhat easier for me. Many hugs for you and the kids. This is never an easy situation.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Change is hard, even when its for the better. If you drank a cup of coffee every morning for 17 years, just think how hard it would be to stop cold turkey! And there's not much emotion that generally goes with a cup of coffee.

    I'm glad you and the kids got out and enjoyed your evening. Sounds like a nice one.

    Time will ease the sharp edges. Til then, surround yourself with those who love you.

    Many, many hugs.
  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    All I can say is been there done that, still doing it. I completely understand. Major cyber hugs to you.

  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ((HUGS)) I can't add anything more to what the others have already said.