first timer

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by mamadawn, Feb 23, 2011.

  1. mamadawn

    mamadawn New Member

    This is my first time here. It makes me sad to be entering one of these sites, but I dont know what else to do. My DS is going to be 15 fri. He has been my life since I was 19. I didnt always do a great job, I struggled with my own substances and mental conditions. I made bad choices. I was ALWAYS a mom first tho. He is now, smoking weed, at the least, stealing from cars, and goin on probation for it. He has manipulated me since toddlerhood with his temper and if he didnt get his way there would be hell to pay. Tonight he wanted money and a ride, I wanted to finish my dinner first, he came home looking high and I called him on it. He fled, I followed but at 6 ft to by 5 ft he quickly outran me. See ya next week f' off he said, my heart is broken, I worry something horrible will happen to him, he has great athletic ability, is gifted intelligently, yet has already failed 1 grade and been kicked off team after team. Dont know what to do?
  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Welcome! You are certainly not alone and you have come to the right place. Have you ever had a psychiatric evaluation done on him?
  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Welcome. Many of us have traveled a similar road and understand your fears. It does sound as though something more than teen stuff is going on with him. Is he still on probation? If so, do they do random drug testing? That has been a deterant for many of our teens.

    Has he had testing or therapy or mentoring? I raised a gifted teen with awesome athletic skills. He turned to alcohol and drugs and it still breaks our hearts to think of what "could have been" as compared to "what is". It's a long hard road. I hope you can find help thru the Courts or other means. Meanwhile I suggest you start a journal (short notations will do) so you have a full grasp of the pattern he is following. At some point it may come in handy. Hugs. DDD
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome! I would suggest getting the evaluations done and using the probation to help get the services he needs to get on the right track.

    Sorry - not much time to reply!
  5. 4timmy

    4timmy New Member

    Welcome! I suggest definitely staying with this Forum. There are many many parents that are going through or have gone through exactly what you are. The people on this forum are EXTRAORDINARY so don't feel bad that you had to come here, this is the best thing you could do. Hang in there, there WILL be comfort and lots of advice coming soon.
  6. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Welcome Mamadawn

    This place has always been referred to as a soft place to land. Here you will find understanding, caring, and support. in my opinion we've all felt the guilt of failing our kids. Yet, the best advice I got here was ....You did the very best you could with the knowlegde that you had. If you could of done better you would have. That has helped me so much through the years. No matter what your past or the issues you had, you did the best you could on that day. Don't feel guilting about your past, or about being here.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just wanting to add my welcome. You found a "soft" place to land with many who understand and have good ideas. Hugs.