I posted this on the other thread, but thought I'd start a new one. Mods, feel free to lock the other thread as to avoid any confusion. ______________________________________________ Wow. What a day. First, let me back up. I wish I could say this was teenage, hormonal junk, but it's not. She's done this off and on for years. It's just the subject matter that has changed. She has been making progress...or so I thought. We went to the mall and were having, I thought, a good time. While we were in the store Icing, we were at the counter waiting to purchase a pair of earrings for Wynter and she tells me that all of a sudden she just feels really sad, depressed. She doesn't know why...said it just came on all of a sudden. She didn't want to talk about it more than that. We walked around some more, left, stopped at DQ for some ice cream and came home. I went out to water and she went to take Jewel for a walk. She came back and stormed past me into the house and locked herself in her room. All hell broke loose. She wouldn't unlock her door. Told me she wasn't going to and I could ground her, she doesn't care. I then yelled and told her, "I am the Mom and you need to open this door right now, little girl!" (It scared me to have her locked in her room and be so angry out of the blue.) She did and she screamed and she yelled and she told me she doesn't care about me...her life is meaningless, she wishes she were dead, her life s-ucks...you get the idea. It was like being run over by a truck. Just out of nowhere. I know she has chronic depression. I had no idea it had become this severe. How could I not know that? I know what depression is and what it looks like. I don't know how I missed this. She was so hysterical that I almost called for transport to the ER for an evaluation. The *only* thing that stopped me is that even though she says she wishes she were dead, she is not suicidal and I know they wouldn't admit her. She's already so treatment resistant that if I did that and she wasn't admitted, I'd never get anywhere with her. As she finally started to calm down, she did say that she has been thinking about therapy for the last couple of days, but she's still against it. That's really a moot point now, as far as I'm concerned. I had looked into day treatment about 18 months ago and had no luck finding anything that would take her. A few weeks ago I literally stumbled across a website for a local agency that sounds perfect. They offer outpatient and partial hospitalization - among other things. It looks like it might be tough to get her into the partial hospital as you have to exhaust a lot of other strategies first, but she fits a lot of the criteria, such as treatment resistant, psychiatric disorder, negative impact at school, etc. The only thing I'm concerned about is that they are not in my county. As they are a United Way provider, I don't know how that's going to work. I'll be calling them tomorrow. I hope they can still see us or at least point us to something comparable in my county. I know people have a lot of luck with county mental health, but ours leaves a lot to be desired. I'm absolutely drained. And I'm heartsick. I don't know how this could have become so severe and I not know it. I know the pain she is feeling. I'd give anything if I could take it from her. Please keep a good thought for my baby girl. Thank you.