Forget my glimmer....... Sheesh

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Apr 27, 2007.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    easy child dropped in for a visit today with Darrin. N let us in on what the argument with b/f was about. I was right, the same old stuff.

    Then she hit us both with a bomb. B/f asked her to marry him once she's finished college. (the 1 yr phlebotomy program) :faint: He says he wants to wait til then because he wants her to be able to support herself and the baby if something would ever happen to him.

    This is the first talk of marriage. I guess she must have scared him silly the other day when she broke up with him. :slap:

    Well, maybe college will change her view. Who knows. She did hurry up and take the written part of her driving test yesterday. So now easy child's husband can teach her to drive. That was a big deal for her.
  2. Loris

    Loris New Member

    Wow, it must have scared him good! Uh, I'm not sure what to say on that one!!
  3. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #330099"> sorry, lisa, but the first thing that popped into my head was....he wanrs her to be able to support herself & baby or to support him???

    hopefully with-more maturity she will see what a bad idea this would be. he just doesn't seem like husband material .... not the way he treatw her now, at least. he definitely has some maturing to do.

    </span> </span> </span>
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    My reaction was the same as Kris'-----that he wants her to have her education (not paid for by him) so that she can support him in the future. :hammer: Oh, cynical me. :hammer:

    Well, we'll all just have to keep our fingers crossed that she meets a real Mr. Wonderful during this next year.

  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Once she gets to college and sees nice guys, she'll see how a nice person is supposed to act.She'll see people who have plans for thr future, she'll be one of those people. She'll realize alot that she doesn't see now, she's too busy with him. He justed asked her to marry him so she's flattered at the moment. In a few days they'll be back at it again. Your glimmer of hope will be back.-Alyssa
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Sorry your glimmer of hope didn't last long. I'm sure my glimmer won't last much longer either, but we can always hope.
  7. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I wonder sometimes too if it's so she can support him. Can't help it. I've been seeing so much of that lately. (what's with guys these days?)

    B/f does seem to be a hard worker, though. I have to give him credit in that dept. And he's in school. He has his A++ like T, and is on his way for his 4 yr degree.

    But I'm wondering if he might want her to support him while he finishes college. Who knows.

    I'm just glad she's gotten motivated to drive finally. easy child is taking her for her first driving lesson in the morning.
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Lisa, Maybe he just doesn't want her dependant on him. If he is going to school and is a serious student he probably doesn't want to get into a situation where he is forced to quit.

    I do hope that either he learns to not be abusive, or she learns to Occupational Therapist (OT) be abused. It must be hard on your mother's heart to see this happening. -RM
  10. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #330033"> i have to admit i don't get the reluctance to drive thing either. sarah, total easy child, has no desire to learn. if she plans to work & go to college next year she has no choice in the matter....while we have public transportation it would take too much time to do her commute that way. a friend's mom has said she will teach her so i'm pushing the issue now. she hasn't saved a dime for a car/ins as yet....tho her paltry pay check from the golden arches made it hard.....she is now a server at a local family restaurant & once she starts working on her own. well let's just say she'll be handing the tips to mommy lol.

    i hope he's not planning to use her as a buffer for himself. at any rate she'll have time to test new waters. hope she sees it that way.

    </span> </span> </span>
  11. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Maybe by saying, "...if something would ever happen to him", he is REALLY saying, "...if it doesn't work out and I leave"! Going to college, learning to drive, becoming self-sufficient ... these are all steps towards her independence. An abusive person would see these steps she's taking as a threat ... he will lose the "power and control" he wants to have over her. An educated, employed, independent woman wouldn't need an abusive loser like him and he knows it!

    If she stood up to him recently, maybe the marriage proposal is his way of making sure he keeps her, that he has her "on reserve", that she doesn't meet someone else and move on. He knows she will meet new people when she goes to school and he's hoping that if they're engaged, she will not get to know other young men and compare the difference between them and him!

    I have a niece just like this! Only in her case, she actually married the fool and nothing good has happened to her ever since! Her parents were always hoping that if she met just one really nice decent guy who treated her respectfully, she'd see the difference and kick "Bozo" to the curb - didn't happen!