frustrated with husband, need input please

[carolanne]

I have been married for 18 years and have been frustrated for so long it seems.

We used to fight all the time...over kids, money...the usual. Now days can go by and we barely say two sentences...he spends all his time gaming on the computer or sleeping during the day...I have the house and kids to care for and am too bloody tired to stay up late just to hear about his latest conquest on the game....

I am lonely, tired of being a single parent with a spouse and want things to change...I have told him that this just isn't enough for me anymore and have talked about going back to school so I can have a job and support this family...he thinks I am being a idiot because we get disability for his mental condition(long story(....

Does any of this sound familiar to anyone? How do you handle it....

Carolanne

 

[ROE]

Some of this sounds familiar to me. Is there any chance that husband would join you in marriage counseling? (my dex refused-why can't "I" just change-LOL).

You need do something for you. If you want to go back to school, you should. I think it would be a good idea to talk it over with husband, explain why it's important to you and get his support. The reason why I say this is that it doesn't sound like he is helping out at all now-and you are really going to want him to if you go back to school. I went back to school too. In fact, I am still trying to finish an associate degree (slowly but surely, I'll get there)It was a wise choice for me but it did add additional stress.

If husband doesn't help you out, you will find that you are spending time in class (its good to be out and with other adults though)having your own homework deadlines to meet, and running the house. I am not trying to be negative. I'm glad I went back to school, it's taken me years to get this far (5 classes away)but I was able to get a fairly decent job based on the skills that I learned.


I can usually only manage one class a semester because I'm single, work full-time, and issues with difficult child. I'm also anal when it comes to assignments-if I can't give it 110% I don't want to do it. Right now, I am trying to take the internet classes for the convenience (but it might be good for you to get out of the house for awhile-even if it's part-time).

Good luck. I hope you find some solutions that make you happy.

 

[Kjs]

Sounds familiar to me. Ony husband works days first shift, and I work nights. Do not agree on difficult child issues at all. I, like you do all the household issues. The house is in need of so many repairs but husband doesn't do it. I cannot. Do not have money to get someone to do it. We live pay day to pay day, and sometimes don't make that. I don't think husband has a clue. I am also lonely even though a spouse is here. Would love a shoulder to lean on after dealing with difficult child / finance issues. Would be nice even to know that someone liked me. I don't think husband does. I thought I was unique in this situation of being loney even though I am married.

 

[Sunlight]

I would take a class someplace to get out and let him know you are not letting him define your lifestyle. it is hard when you are both home all the time with no money to blow on a lot of funs stuff. you need some outside stimulation from other adults.