Frustrations-mostly venting

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was so frustrated with both of my kids this weekend. My dad and his wife were visiting and both kids were just miserable. I was truly embarrassed. difficult child spit on his plate, was loud, rude and extremely disrespectful to my dad's wife (who actually did nothing to bring any of this on this weekend).

    easy child (and I use that term these days just to distinguish her from difficult child) was mad at me and played the hermit the entire time they were here except for the one time she asked if she could play Wii and I told her for 1/2 hour. She had the nerve to ask me to talk more quietly to my dad's wife so she could concentrate. Uh-no-you don't need to play if it's that difficult! Talk about embarrassing! She knows better!

    Why was easy child mad at me? She was mad for a couple of reasons. One, I actually had the nerve to give her a consequence for leaving a huge scratch mark on difficult child. She had to wash, dry, and fold the kitchen towels. She kept delaying (over the course of two days) and I finally took her cell phone.

    Two, we received her progress report in the mail. She is failing two classes. Two classes that she is capable of A work. She just isn't doing the work. She doesn't seem to care in the least. I know she is depressed and we are working on it but she can't use that for an excuse. She is mad because we tried to talk to her about it. I don't feel like I'm overly nagging and if she doesn't want to have the conversation do the work. At this rate she will lose her scholarship and end up having to do summer school!

    Consequences don't seem to matter to her at all right now-natural or otherwise.

    Oh and one more thing to add to my plate (I mentioned in KLMNO's thread about cutting), my mom informed me the other day that she has been cutting. I really can't take that on right now.

    I hate to say that I'm actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow (not sure why though because the two of the three difficult children I have in class have really been off lately).

    Thanks for listening to my vent!
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    oh Sharon I'm so sorry to hear what a rough time you had. How horrible. I know exactly what you mean as far as consequences being and meaning almost nothing.

    I'm sorry about your mom dropping that bomb as well. Ok i dont' blame you for wanting to go back to work tomorrow. Take sometime for you tonite a hot bubble bath some you time.

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so sorry! Tomorrow's difficult children has one advantage over yours, you don't have the mother's emotional attachment and you get to send them home. Easier to be somewhat detached.

    I don't know what to say about your mom's cutting. I am so sorry! I don't know what I would do in your shoes this week.
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    God what a crummy, stinky, blah, blah, blah weekend.:sick:

    Not to minimize your situation, but when you talked about difficult child spitting into his plate, I had to laugh for a brief second. I have had my difficult child do that so many times in public places, and it is SO horrifying. You just sit there and think, "are you for real kid? did you really just do that? right here, in front of god & everyone, without one ounce of self consciousness!!!!" OMG :mad: And then there was difficult children phase of "manly spitting", where every 5 minutes he would walk outside to hock up god knows what in his throat, and spit. Or we would be walking into a store and he would spit on the pavement 2 feet from the entrance of the store. It was like having a male dog with me at all times that had to pee on everything he saw. I could not stand it!!!! Ok. I am done. I feel ya.

    And easy child/difficult child sounds like she is just the typical bratty teen! Yay. Not.

    (I am confused, is your mom cutting, or did she tell you difficult child is cutting?) Yikes. That is unsettling. What is prompting the cutting? Do you know?

    There are definitely days I would rather be at work as well, yesterday was one of them.
    Hugs - and hang in there.
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Jennifer-I did take some me time tonight-went to the mall just to get out for a bit.

    Andy-I think you are right. I do a really good job of detaching from the difficult children at school. I know the Special Education teacher I work with and the aide have a harder time. I think it's because I have my own "angels" waiting for me when I get home.

    Steely-I did have to chuckle in wonderment myself with the spitting thing. When I told him he would need to leave the table if he continued to do that his reaction was, "What did I do wrong? I spit on my plate." All I could think was you didn't just say that! easy child is more lately than the typical teen stuff because of her depression-nothing seems to get her out of it. We are starting a new medication tomorrow. My mom is the one doing the cutting. Not sure exactly why but it has to do with her depression. She has been in and out of the psychiatric hospital all of her adult life because of her depression. This is the first I found out about the cutting.
  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    I'm sorry to hear how awful your weekend was.
  7. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Sharon, it's pretty bad when you're left asking, "Is it Monday yet?"

    Hugs! I hope tomorrow is a better day.
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I have a plan for you in the event of a snow day tomorrow.

    Make this announcement to the kids:

    "I would really like a nice peaceful, quiet, calm snow day. Both of your behavior this weekend were inappropriate and I do hope there will be no more today. However, in the event that you are not ready to treat me better today, I have something for each of you:

    To difficult child: A stack of paper plates to spit away on all day long (or for awhile anyway).

    To easy child: An extra pillow. If you are going to hide out in your room for another day of anger, you might as well be comfy.

    O.K. You two are set for the day, please do not approach me without the words, "Mom, is there something I can help you with to get ready for Christmas?"

    Let's all have a fun snow day!
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Oh, yeah. I remember not being able to wait for the weekend to get a break from work, then not being able to wait for Monday to get a break from the kids.

    I'm sorry you had such a lousy weekend.

  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry your weekend was so stinky. Many hugs.
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks all! It was a rough day at school-the two difficult children are really wound up probably due to winter break looming in the near future. At least though I was able to leave that behind. It's quiet here tonight but not necessarily a good quiet. easy child is really still struggling-I might do a separate post later. I hate the teenage years!