Give 'Em An Inch

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Janna, Dec 24, 2007.

  1. Janna

    Janna New Member

    well, you know the rest. It's amazing to me how some kids never, ever learn the art of making the good choice. Never, no matter what you do.

    You'd think Brandon, being in 5 years of out of placement garbage, therapies, psychiatrists, psychologists, foster placements he didn't like, rules, consequences, the whole nine yards, would have learned something by now.

    But alas...he's stupid :slap:

    I should be flaming angry, but I'm not.

    Friday night, SO and I were driving home from picking up Dylan at the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for his TL. We were almost home, when SO's phone rings. It's Wal Mart, Brandon works there. "Can you come in to the store, my manager wants to talk to you", he tells SO. I hear SO telling Brandon, "are you sure ME and not your MOM?", and Brandon said he wanted SO.

    So, he drops Dylan and I off at home, and goes in town. An HOUR later, I text him and ask him what the problem is. "Hold on" is all I get :nonono:

    I could go into hours of this, but basically, Brandon has been stealing from Wal Mart since he has worked there (he's only been there 3 weeks). He stole $200 out of his cash register one day to buy a PSP, another day $60, another day, $80, so on and so forth. State police were there, pressing charges, sending him to Juvenille Court.

    He's been stripped of all privelages here, but it doesn't matter. He could care less. I have no empathy or sympathy and really do hope they put him into a Juvenille Detention Center. This could be a possibility, seeing as how he's been in Probation before, at 12 years old, for stealing $500 out of my purse. Not to mention, it hasn't even been a year since he got caught shoplifting CD's at Wal Mart.

    I guess they didn't go through all the tapes, yet. If they find more money, it'll be more charges, seperate counts.


    Stupid, stupid kid. I really dont believe he has any disorder. Maybe he does. Doesn't matter and I don't care. It's just amazing to me that it doesn't bother him at all.
  2. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Hi Janna,
    just wanted to say I am sorry and thinking of you. I understand the lack of empathy or sympathy--it is just too much and so dumb. I hope you can still get some sort of enjoyment out of the holidays--I am so sorry!
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Janna, I'm so sorry. I know you feel violated and embarassed by your son's behavior. I understand completely about letting the consequences fall where they may.
    "If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got"
    He keeps stealing and keeps getting caught and keeps getting consequences. He isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

    Do you think he wanted to get caught? He had to know they have survelence on the registers?

    I feel for you.
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Well $%^&*(. I'm sorry Janna. It sounded like he was doing so well too. What an idjit. Wish I could say more but sending {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}} and the bottle.
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    I am so very sorry. Ah jeeze.

    Hoping that in spite of it, you and your family can enjoy your time together.

    Have a blessed Christmas.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    So sorry. I know you had hoped for more.
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Sorry Janna.
    When I got caught... I learned, It took a few times, but when I got caught at a store. That was it. It was enough.
    But then for someone like my Father, it was never enough. I don't understand why. He went to prison, stole, lied. Hurt people, always felt it was his. If people were dumb enough not to catch him or if he was smart enough not to get caught. Even if he got caught, then next time he would just have to smarter... because all of this stuff was out there for the taking!!! Whether it was by conning or manipulating etc.
    I never got it. Still don't, what made me have the conscious, and fear... not him. We were both messed up.

    But my Father does have Narcissistic Personality Disorder... hmmm

    I am sorry it just s-u-c-k-s!
  8. oceans

    oceans New Member

    I'm sorry Janna...we keep hoping for the best, but sometimes it does not turn out that way. I hope that something will help to turn things around for him. I hope you can have a wonderful Holiday season anyway.
  9. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Oh crud, Janna. I'm so sorry. Unbelievable that he somehow thought this was gonna fly. But unfortunately, not surprising given some difficult children' thinking. Instant gratification and consequences be darned. Sigh.

    I hope you have a good Christmas, hon. Don't let this cast a pall over it. It's his problem.

    Gentle hugs!
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Ahhh...I know this scenario so well. I have been there done that so many times I think I have a whole closet full of the tee shirts in various sizes.

    This is simply classic CD behavior. He really doesnt care that he did something wrong, only that he got caught. Society's rules shouldnt apply to him. They are for the rest of us poor suckers who are blind enough to stupidly go along with things.

    We have always said that we could have held Cory's hand over the stove 100 times to tell him it was hot and he would have still gone back and tried it one more time to see if it was still hot. He simply didnt learn from consequences. And god help you if one time out of those 100 the stove was off and it wasnt showed him in his mind that See...he might get away with something 1 out of 100 times. It was worth the risk. Stupid!

    One day your son will learn. Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. Like totoro it only took me a few times of getting scared out of my mind to decide that I didnt want to live behind bars so I better change my behaviors. Unfortunately my kid hasnt made that connection yet.
  11. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Thanks, everyone :flower:

    I will continue to have a very nice holiday with the children, regardless of my son's actions. He has been placed on full lock down here at home. He actually had the nerve to ask me if he could check his MySpace this morning :rofl: He won't see that for a longggggggggggggggg time.

    I also confiscated his cell phone. Interesting text messages in and out. Apparantley there were many kids that got caught that night, and another that Brandon goes to school with got caught, too.

    There will definately be charges filed. He is definately going to court. The $200 in one shot alone warrants a court procedure, nevermind all the other incidents they are still searching for, plus the many more found. I'm hoping for Juvenille Detention over probation, because probation isn't squat for him.

    He's going to have to find another job fast. PA is a Commonwealth, and here, if your child under 18 cannot pay the fines, it lays in the lap of the parent. If the parent does not pay the fine, the parent gets the warrant and goes to jail. I won't be held responsible for his stuff.

    He didn't think he'd get caught. He's stupid. This other boy supposedly told him that there were only 3 cameras working in the entire store, and Brandon, being stupid, believed him. Isn't that friggin' funny and pathetic?

    What got him caught was a fellow student on Friday going through his line. He told this student that if he came through my son's line at work, my son would give him $40 out of the register. The boy came through and sure as anything, Brandon gave him $40 out of the register LOL!

    I don't think Brandon is ever gonna "get it". He's too materialstic and self centered. Truthfully, he makes our lives here very, very difficult, and if he does get sent to the Detention Center, it really won't hurt my feelings. He deserves it, and that's that.

    But he won't hurt us. He did this to himself. He's not gonna ruin my holiday, only his.

    Thanks again
  12. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I am sorry he made these bad choices. Hopefully, before it's too late he will learn. :hammer:

    Wishing you and your family a happy holiday !!
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry. I know he had been doing so well. Good for you for refusing to let it ruin your holidays. Hugs.