Copabanana
Well-Known Member
On the West Coast, I am mostly done cooking and I am thinking of all of you. Remember. You're not alone. I send my love.
Happy Thanksgiving Everybody!
- Thread starter Copabanana
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Helpless29
Well-Known Member
Hi how are you Copa?
How is your son? I been thinking about you.I hope you enjoyed your holiday .
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
I am good, Helpless. I've been thinking about you, too. How are you? Your son? How was your holiday? Mine was fine.
Nothing much has changed, here. My son recently came back to my area, because he gets more help here, or feels less alone when he runs out of money which happens every month. If he gets to half a month, that's doing good. It is hard for me to not be cynical. He shows no interest at all in improving his situation. He seems to accept that he is unchangeable and that what needs to change are his circumstances He is homeless, still. He was here for Thanksgiving, for 2 days. What about your son?
My TG went fairly well. Sometimes it's hard in my heart that one child is missing. Recently, she was told that she should have certain supplies like a flashlight to prepare for the hard winter in the new state she lives in where winters are very cold with hard snows. I commented that we have purchased sooo many flashlights for her in the past. She then said this was my fault (omg) and explained in a bizarre convoluted way. No apologies or regrets on her part. NO personal accountability even though it's clearly all her fault. OMG. I almost lost my mind. How can she possibly improve with this mindset? She moves constantly and leaves behind almost everything. Much has been lost, almost all we have paid for including furniture. Well, nooo more. I suggested she purchase her own flashlight this time. Did your son come to your home for TG, Copa? Daughter sooo similar...always runs out of funds end of the month...at times more like the beginning of the month. It's a miracle she has found a place for a roof over her head...thank goodness. Being homeless seems to frighten her and this seems like a good thing. But, food has been an issue and she does have to go to places like churches for supplies. She seems "unchangeable" as well...heartbreaking.
Helpless29
Well-Known Member
Hi , things are ok. My son moved back to Chicago after he was released from jail back in June. The first 2 months he was here me & his dad split the cost for hotels so he can get on his feet . It was my first time seeing him in almost 3 years . We tried are best to help , he then met a girl lived with her & got a job as a cook was doing ok . His dad recently bought him a condo & he’s been working & paying his dad as much as he can afford . The girlfriend was living with him for a while but they just split up , from what she said he’s been getting really drunk almost every night . His dad has been there helping & being as supportive as he could be , he lives 10 mins from his place. Unfortunately shortly after him & his girlfriend broke up, I once again got an a very inappropriate video from him. I didn’t tell his dad & from my post way back still never told anyone. I will just keep my distance. He still has never been to my new house or knows where I live & I prefer to keep it this way. When I do chose to see him again it will be with his dad. I will never understand this behavior from him, but as far as everything else goes , he has a roof over his head , a job & his dads support, he sees him at least twice a week. I’m sorry to hear about your son, I’m glad you were able to see your son on Thanksgiving.
Sorry to read that you got that inappropriate video from him, Helpless. Good that he has a roof over his head...I totally get this. A "thing" I've noticed with so many of our troubled adult children is a lack of gratefulness and this rapid fire willingness to turn on us when they have problems. This lack of ability to hold themselves accountable and their troubling rapid fire blaming and anger toward their parents...often the only people truly helping them in a meaningful way. Sounds wise not to have him at your house. It's all so heartbreaking...but we have to keep ourselves safe.
Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Dear Helpless
I am sorry he sent again the video. This and the fact his father is helping him puts you completely out of the situation. Your son will have to take responsibility for his own life and character. Your son has so many gifts and abilities, I pray that he will find a way to become a better man. We, as mothers, have so little place or role anymore in their stories. It saddens me, (for myself), it took me so long to see that.
Helpless, can you block your son so that he can't send anymore videos?
I am sorry he sent again the video. This and the fact his father is helping him puts you completely out of the situation. Your son will have to take responsibility for his own life and character. Your son has so many gifts and abilities, I pray that he will find a way to become a better man. We, as mothers, have so little place or role anymore in their stories. It saddens me, (for myself), it took me so long to see that.
Helpless, can you block your son so that he can't send anymore videos?
Helpless29
Well-Known Member
Yes I blocked him from all social media which is where he sent it through a private message. I was just thinking about how long I been on here , I first posted when he was 15 teen yrs old, he will be 21 in January. Crazy to think about .
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Copabanana
Well-Known Member
Wow, Helpless. You've been here almost as long as I have. For me, it was 8 years last May. New Leaf came a month or two after I did.
You've found acceptance of yourself, and you've let go in a good way. I am proud of you Helpless. You suffered too much.
