He Did It Again

[babyblue31]

Ok, First things first.. The 50in. t.v. that we own we got for FREE.. the xbox 360 that my boyfriend has was a gift for valentines day..

This is for wizend, Have you ever lived in public houseing and not have anything.. And the STUFF I was refering to was not all mine, It was my sons has well.. LIke the stuff my family got him for christmas and his birthday...

My son has always came first.. And as for my spelling I was never good at that.. I have 9th grade education and I am curantly attending GED classes.. So that I may better myself for the sake of my son..

I don't care what you think of me.. I have never been the type of person you claim to think I am.. I have been tring to find the right kind of help for both me and my son.. It's been a long and tring process, but I'm still tring with the help of others..

I came to this site for advice for my sons adhd.. Althrough I have posted about other things going on in my live.. Everyone goes through rough pathes.. I do take the advice people give me to heart...

I can't change the way you think about me.. Altrough I don't agree with it, I won't let it get me down or stress me out, I got enough stress.. I don't hate you.. That would not get me any where.. So think what u want..

 

[Lothlorien]

Perhaps you may think that Witz was a bit rough on you, but in my opinion, she has a lot of valid points. Especially, the part about losing your son because your utilities are being shut down.

Listen, you have to take a good look at your life and do what's best for him. If the 50 in TV was free, then sell it and take that few hundred bucks, pay your bills and then buy a smaller tv.

Honestly, what is keeping you with this guy? Is it that you don't want another failed relationship or is it something else? If it's because you don't want another failed relationship, I got news for you.....It is already failed. If it's money, then get yourself on some federal assistance while you are getting an education and get out on your own. You are fooling yourself if you think that staying in that relationship is good for you or your son. Getting out on your own and fending for yourself is showing strength to your son.

If you are just on here to get everone riled and Witz is right, it won't last long. The posters here are way to wise for that. We are, after all, mothers and fathers of difficult children.

 

[Star*]

Baby Blue,


If the Xbox is your boyfriends, and a Valentines gift. At this point you're in danger of your lights being turned off again. IF the electric is off, and there is no power - the Xbox is going to be sorta useless. Why not pawn it for some cash and pay some bills?

IF the electric is off, then the cable isn't going to work and if both of those are off, there is no need for a TV. Don't give a hang what size it is without power you are not going to see anything. Why not pawn it for some cash and pay some bills?

This is what is being said to you, because they're right - if your power is off and your water is off, and your house is hot and there is no place to put food - it would only take 1 neighbor to call 1 time to DFS and you are going to loose your son. Is making a point to stay in this relationship, in this house, in this state worth it?

WE can't answer that for you. But it makes me wonder if your boyfriend left for a while and you sold the tv, sold the x box and cut off the cable and got enough money to pay the lights would he say OKAY BABY GOOD JOB you and the little boy have lights or would he be ****** off that you sold HIS game? You say you have put your son first. WHAT does this man living with you put first? He's 28, he's healthy and he's living off your son.

THAT is why I'm upset. If you threw him out tonight - he'd find a way. He's old enough. But if someone threw YOU and your baby out - WHAT would you and he do? Where would you go?

Before all this goes very South for you - my best advice would be of course to call your Dad and tell him you need help for a while. Maybe once you got to OH and you had a little help, and better services you COULD get a job - you won't have the stress to deal with. And if you make a positive move like that for you and your son - doors are going to open up for you.


Ask yourself right now - WHO in this world cares most about my son? WHY would I put off doing the absolutely best job I could do for him for anyone else who doesn't put him first? For the next 14 years - he's going to look to YOU for how to model his anger, his self esteem, his behavior, his lifestyle, how he behaves in relationships, his work ethic, his sleep patterns, his ability to make the best of the worst and still smile - and his education.

THAT IS ALL on YOU. No one else. So what you do and who you have around and how you behave and react to situations and overcome the impossible is ALL ON YOU. Not the boyfriend, not your dad, not your x, not anyone else but you because YOU baby blue are ALL your son has in the whole world. He doesn't have anyone but you.

Think about that - re read it and write out your answers -
WHO in this world is going to care about my son the most?
WHO in this world cares if he has supper or not?
WHO in this world cares if he is scared because the lights are off?
WHO in this world worries if there is no food for him to eat?
WHO in this world knows when he is frightened and why?
WHO is this world is trying her best to make things better for him?
WHO in this world would give up all their worldly possession to make sure your son didn't go one night in fear, or hunger?
Who in this world would give up all they owned to see him well?

If you answered ME to 8 of those questions then I gotta ask ya - WHAT is stopping you from selling what you can, putting your important papers and some clothes in a suitcase, and leaving where you are to improve your life and his?

You dont' have to tell me - you have to convince yourself.

No one NO ONE that has posted to you has been mean or lied to you or given you bad advice. Are you going to accept the help and criticisms or are you going to ignore the help that you asked for, and post something tomorrow about how the world is being mean to you because while it's being mean to you - it's being twice as mean to your son and you are allowing it to happen. Not your boyfriend, not the system - you.

I EXPECT YOU TO START EXPECTING GREAT THINGS FROM YOURSELF.
I hope you take advantage of the help you've gotten here from everyone. Sometimes the help you seek isn't in the answers you hope to get.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Witz said everything that needed to be said.

And then Star said it too.

This is on you.

 

[Abbey]

Blue...can't add much to what has been said, but I sense a very stressed out person who doesn't really know WHERE to go and what to do, and needs a very large shoulder to lean on and cry. been there done that.

I just wish you the best of strength to do what is best for you and your son. I know it is not easy.

Abbey