Help for my sister

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by missyk33, Dec 22, 2010.

  1. missyk33

    missyk33 New Member

    This is not about my difficult child but about my sister. She is 47 years old and an alcoholic. She moved in with my mother over a year ago when she hit bottom and got her first dui. She went to their mental health center and talked to therapist and came back with a diagnosis of ADHD which I firmly believe in. She was prescribed Paxil and has been taken that. It has not helped at all except for weight gain. She went into rehab for 90 days and came out sober for 6 months. She had another relapse overnight several times since then and last night had another one. SHe is desperate for help and I am not sure what I can do. Our mother tries to understand what she is going through but doesnt totally understand. I do because of my difficult child. I told her tonight she needed to get mental help and when I see her this weekend we would sit down and write an action plan for her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well, for one I've never heard of paxil being prescribed for ADHD, it's an antidepressant, and one I don't care for much at all. It's not that great to seek a diagnosis from a therapist in my opinion, or to be given medications by one. If someone is going to diagnosis me and give me medications I prefer it coming from someone with a medical degree.

    Perhaps it's time for a 2nd opinion with an actual psychiatrist. I'm not saying her seeing a therapist isn't a good idea, because I'm sure it is........but she may get a more accurate diagnosis and better medication treatment with a psychiatrist working with the therapist. I'm not saying she doesn't have ADHD, I'm saying there might be something that has been missed. Bipolar is in the family.............and mania can appear as hyper type behavior.

    Is there a treatment program she can go into nearby? She would probably have to wait until after the holidays though.

    Only thing I really know to say is that relapses do happen, especially in the early days of recovery. I know that from going to Al anon myself. That is why the recommendation to stick to AA meeting is such a huge deal, because they need that support and encouragement.

    I'm sure others will be along with more advise probably better than mine has been.

  3. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Does she have an AA sponsor? One who has traveled the alcohol road toward destruction is far more qualified to deal with her addiction issues. I remember very clearly (amazing because it has been over sixty years ago, lol) my Dad getting phone calls in the middle of the night, getting dressed, often taking an AA friend along, and going to spend time with the person who had fallen off the wagon. The family can do all they can but working "the steps" is, in my humble opinion, best left to the sponsor.

    Those with impulse control issues have such a difficult time self-regulating. All the family love and support just can't make an addict "see the light"....we are coming from a different place. I wish you well. I also agree that ADHD medications are not as prescribed. A psychiatrist with addictions experience would be more qualified to choose medication. Sometimes popping a pill just opens the door to another variety of problems.

    Sending caring thoughts your way. DDD
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    If she's not already active in AA, I would offer to drive her to an AA meeting this weeend. It's vital after rehab that addicts be actively involved in AA, NA or some other type of ongoing recovery program. It wouldn't hurt for her to see a psychiatrist as well, but AA should be the first step, in my opinion. If she's not sober, no psychiatrist can really help her, anyway.
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Your sister needs AA and a sponsor. She also needs for you and her mother to REGULARLY attend Alanon and find your own sponsors. Her chances of truly embracing sober life go up dramatically if you and her mother also get help. This isn't just your sister's disease, it is the entire, multigenerational family's disease. 7 in 7 is an AWESOME goal for each of you! 7 meetings in 7 days will let you find different groups of people and will help you figure out which meetings are the right fit for you. in my opinion you and your mother should attend some of the same meetings AND some that the other does NOT attend.

    I hope that this helps.