Help with my 9yr behaviour. constant crying, hitting..

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Britdon83, Apr 29, 2011.

  1. Britdon83

    Britdon83 New Member

    I need help with my SS who is 9 years old. My husband and I got full custody of my SS 3years ago and we were extremely happy we anticipated it would be hard but it was a challenge we were both willing to take. My so mom is very young and immature and as a result her parents practically raised him until he was 5yrs old when we got custody of him.
    My step son has cerebral palsy he couldn’t walk until 5yrs old after surgery but as far as we were told by doctors that are the only way it affected him. When he moved in with us everything was a battle. Eating, routine getting himself dressed his favorite phase was grandma does this for me. The routine helped and he learned to do things for himself however he becomes externally stubborn, if he didn’t want to do homework instead of trying he would just cry for hours and houses all night long. If he didn’t want to go to bed he would scream. I fell pregnant and we hoped having another child would help with his behavior being the big brother and getting to help and show his little brother how to do things. We are 3 yrs. down the line he is ok once in a routine but if anything is slightly different he will have full crying break downs. As we are military we have just moved and I am writing this after a rather stressful day and at my wits end. He didn’t want to do homework so he hit screamed and said you cannot make me. I have told him he will do nothing else until his work is done and he does not care. He didn’t like what was for dinner so he refused to eat and then screams that his stomach is in pain unless I give him what he wants. I am at my wits end I love my stepson dearly but it is now effecting my 2year old when my SS is crying my youngest gets upset and mimics his behavior. My SS often tells me you cannot make me do that, and growls at me. When he comes back from his grandmas and won’t eat my food he pretends to gag.
    Just want to add a few other details to some of his behavior that I have noticed. He often uses a baby voice when he doesn’t want to do something; his behavior is worse after talking and spending time with his grandma. (to the point my husband doesn’t want him going there) he needs constant reassurance I will tell him to put his shoes on he has to ask 10 times do you need me to tie my laces, I will tell him to get dressed and he will ask do I need underwear. He will ask a question every minute and without rules he seems lost and confused and it worries me. He cries over everything, if he doesn’t get the breakfast he wanted, if he has to go to bed a little early. He won’t do time out and will kick and scream when I tell him to go calm, any advice would be great as I have no clue what else to do.
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Well, welcome to the board. I am sorry this brought you here.

    I think my first piece of advice would be to read The Explosive Child - it has some amazing tips on rearing children like this.

    My second piece of advise would be for him to see a licensed counselor or Psychiatrist? Have you taken him to one yet? If so, what do they suggest?

    It sounds like beyond the CP and grandma issues, he would benefit from having a professional evaluate and assess his behavior.

    Many kids have adjustment issues, and he certainly has some it sounds like - but it sounds like possibly this is beyond that and he needs to be evaluated by a professional.
    Last edited: May 1, 2011
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    If you can't find The Explosive Child on the shelf, you might find Lost in School - its by the same author, same take on everything - the first has a "parent" slant, and the second a "teacher" slant, but its the same message - so if either is on the shelf, take it rather than wait to order the other (in my humble opinion).

    I just got both... turns out one is about 75-80% of the other. Different situational advice... but it means I can lend the teacher one out and still have my own copy <grin>
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Just sending support and welcome ... here's a glass of iced tea with-mint. And a hug.