Family, This past week has been hades and I hate this time of year! Every year, about this time, difficult child escalates to out of control and she is at it again. I hate mental illness. It is not some "big event". No rage that got physical, except to herself. No trashing of her room, it already is trashed, she demands to live in chaos. No running away, just threats to that effect. No wild "boy behavior" just huge flirting events with boys next door. No drug/alcohol use but boy do I want that (lol). No huge school events, just refusal to complete work and homework. But it is the daily stuff of disrespect, major rudeness, especially towards me. Yesterday, however she took it to the next step of purposesly hurting me and easy child 3 emotionally, in the car where there was no escape. Somehow I forgot that I could pull over anytime and kick her butt out the car. Anyways, after we got home, easy child 3 and I barricaded in my room once again, I called husband and said that's it. I am done. Basically, it's her or me. For the 1st time ever, he actually came home early from work and took over. difficult child continued with attitude and made veiled threats towards husband, me and easy child 3. He and I had a long talk alone, about how he isn't ready to "give up" on difficult child. I said that I don't look at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) as giving up, I see it as being extremely proactive. husband and I are just her parents, trying to offer a happy life for our family. difficult child is too much, she needs ultra structure that the average family cannot provide. I think he is finally seeing that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is treatment, not "giving up". He is calling therapist today to arrange a session for just us and her to talk about options. He is picking difficult child from school today. He is asking me to protect myself and easy child 3 by staying away from difficult child as much as possible. This is huge. He is the most anti-confrontational person I know. Will usually bend over backwards to avoid the major issues. Will work twice as hard to keep the peace instead of working towards a solution. I am very proud of him and feel validated for the first time re: difficult child. I am at the point of easy child 3 and I moving out if something major doesn't change. I will not tolerate living "under fire" daily any longer. My line in the sand is drawn. I am sick to my stomach and hands are shaking but our lives will not be controlled any longer by difficult child. We have done everything and I mean everything "they" have suggested plus tons more and nothing changes. I am no longer willing to have easy child 3 dragged down by difficult child's choice of behaviors. Yesterday in the car, I looked in the rearview mirror and easy child 3 was silently sobbing, and whispering "difficult child, stop hurting my mommy's feelings". This feels so awful, am I making the right decision? Should easy child 3 and I just leave and let husband and difficult child muddle thru the way they did those 9 months we were gone? husband and I feel committed to our marriage, it is the most important thing, we want to stay together. But then that means difficult child has to get help. We have had a Behaviorist here and that helped while he was here. We have had Tdocs since she was 6. She has had 9 hospitalizations, one 6 weeks long. She has been in a "therapeutic foster home". She has had umpteen medication changes. She has been in SDC. She is involved in sports and things she loves. She is surrounded by animals, especially her dog. We have super close family support. She has had Equine therapy... We just don't know what else to do.