Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by kari_anne, Sep 18, 2007.

  1. kari_anne

    kari_anne New Member

    I am new to this forum. I am so thankful that I found it. I have been struggling with my son who is now 6 years old since his birth. He has always been a very difficult child. Over the years we have had several diagnosis. Finally, last March he had to be hospitalized. At that time, he was given a diagnosis of ODD and mild depression. It couldn't fit better. His biological father is in the military and we have been divorced since my son was 2. I am newly remarried for the past 6 months. Of course, I have been told by everyone that knows anything about my oldest son how to parent him. Unfortunately, no one has ever volunteered to take him home far a week and tell me how to do it after he was to come home. My new husband is so wonderful. My two sons are like night and day. Dylan, my 6 year old, who has ODD has really given me a run for my money. Luckily, my new husband has really hung in there and been very supportive of the situation and he has taken on the father role for my boys. They do see bio. dad on some weekends but not very regular. Bio dad is of course in denial that there is anything wrong with his precious first born. He believes it be a lack of parenting on my part. Even though my son has done many of the same behaviors here at home and school and he has done at bio dads house. Bio dad just gets to bring Dylan and his little brother home after his weekend and and not worry about Dylan anymore. I have really hit a crossroads with Dylan right now. I have gotten a lot of support from his school, which helps tremendously, but nothing is working. He is on medication but that isn't working anymore. Now he tries to excuse his bad behavior with I didn't take my medicine excuses. He has never missed a dose here at home but he uses the excuse that if he took it at school and not in the morning at home he wouldn't get in trouble at school. My house is ran very firmly, there are strict rules and strict consequences for bad behavior. I am at a lose though. Nothing is working at all. The rules aren't working, the discipline isn't working, the medicine isn't working (so I don't even know why he is taking it now), absolutely nothing is getting through to my son. I am absolutely fed up and at a loss with him. I do not know where to go from here. He is mean and says ugly things and he is rude to people and of course he is very very aggressive. I am seriously considering sending him to live with his bio dad for several reasons. I have his little brother in the home he is seeing this behavior and it is distressing to him as well the two adults that live here. I do not know what to do anymore. Please if anyone has any suggestions I am all ears.
  2. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Welcome to the board! You have found a wonderful group of people here who are both great for advice and support.

    What medications is he on now? Is he seeing a psychiatrist for his medications or a pediatrician? Has he ever had a multi-disciplinary evaluation by a neuropsychologist?

    Sometimes medications can stop working.

    Have you heard of the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? It's a good read and highly recommended on this site. You should be able to check it out at your local library.

    I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know how difficult ODD behavior can be. I have one with that diagnosis as well. He refuses to do his class work, refuses to follow rules, destroys others things, sneaks things, steals things and so on. I'm sure you're familiar with some of those traits.

    (((hugs))) and again, welcome to the board! More will be along shortly to offer some additional input.
  3. kari_anne

    kari_anne New Member

    My son is on Abilify and Zoloft right now. He had the multi-disciplinary diagnosis in March and a children's mental hospital. He spent 21 days there. They didn't see much of his behavior because he was the youngest one on the ward so he was around adults all day while the other kids were in class. He is so hard to handle and I hate to see what he is going through. I myself am Bipolar I and I feel he may have juvenile bipolar but they say they won't diagnosis that this early. He does see a psychiatrist monthly and a counselor weekly. The psychiatrist did not change his Abilify she just increased his Zoloft and told me she thought this was anxiety. Hah I don't think so. LOL. Thank you for responding and you are right every mom here can relate somehow and that is comforting to not be all alone.
  4. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    My youngest difficult child just turned 7 and he was diagnosed with bipolar earlier today. He starts his mood stabilizer tomorrow night. I've thought for awhile now this was the correct diagnosis. All the ADHD medications did was make it worse, so did the anti-depressants. There was a show of improvement in the beginning, then it went down hill fast.

    Have you checked into getting a new opinion? Our old psychiatrist would up dosages on zoloft too. At one point, my now 11 year old, who was 10 at the time, was on 200 mg. He was a zombie and I insisted they come down on the dosage.

    I'm not familiar with Abilify. Even with 3 kids on medications, it's not one we've tried before. Maybe someone else on the board has some experience with it and can shed some better light than I can.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    I would seriously be questioning the Zoloft in a kid that could be Bipolar. Anti-depressants tend to make ADHD or Bipolar kids more aggressive. This is also the case with stimulants.

    I would try him on just the Abilify for a few weeks. If he is stable except for the ADHD, then try adding a stimulant.
  6. Indianamomof4

    Indianamomof4 New Member

    You and I need to hook up because I too have no idea what to do with mine. I wish I could be more help to you, but I too am new here and feel at a loss too. Nothing seems to work sometimes and just the thought of what to do sends me to a state of mild panic because I know it might take forever to uncover what's going on with my son. I too often feel like I want to send him to live with his dad, but then what message am I sending? I also see his younger siblings affected by his behavior. It's just not fair to the rest of the family that his moods/behaviors direct the way our family is or is not.

    I just wanted to send support your way.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I agree that if bipolar is in the family Zoloft can make him worse. Lots of kids are dxd. bipolar at his age. What do YOU think?