Hi, all! Update on difficult child...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    The man from the state agency didn't call today- nor did the PO or anyone from the judge's office. They'll probably be off tomorrow due to it being veteran's day and then we'll be forgotten by Wed. :(

    On a good note, difficult child had his first individual session with the new therapist- this is the therapist that gave group therapy in the psychiatric hospital when difficult child was in this past spring. They both remember each other- difficult child said the therapist remembered everything he said while in psychiatric hospital and difficult child likes him. He said the only person who would understand more would be someone who had actually gone thru everything he had- I can understand that feeling and there is truth to it. Anyway, therapist remembered difficult child, too, and I did feel more hopeful about this one than the others when I met with him first. Let's just hope that lasts!

    Now, he is the second therapist to try to get difficult child to tell him what forum I post on about the difficult child stuff. difficult child says he won't tell because he knows it's my "private space". I know with the first therapist that asked, difficult child did not tell. I'm just curious, has anyone else had tdocs trying to find out about this site? My posts would make it more than obvious who I am and given all that we discuss here, I wouldn't feel comfortable with therapist reading it all.

    Oh- I had called last week about seeing a female therapist for myself in the same office- she returned my call today but I was transporting difficult child. She said she'd call again tomorrow.

    difficult child didn't go to school again today. We had an IEP meeting set up for tomorrow but then the CM from school emailed and said there were no available teachers. You would think she would check that before setting a meeting time wouldn't you? I have been trying to get her to set a meeting since Oct. I know, they can't do that. But, I can't afford a Special Education attny every time they push things. The people in this county are just lame brains. I'll save that vent for another time. Let's just say that I feel sorry for anyone who needs support or a safety net from this county because it will make your (and difficult child's) life and the entire situation worse instead of better.
  2. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am sorry no one has called you back, but I am glad some positive steps are being made. I hope the therapist works out, and I don't know how I would feel about therapist or psychiatrist seeing what I write here. I don't have the legal problems (cross fingers and pray) that you have with difficult child, so that would make a difference. It does seem a little invasive that they ask difficult child where you post. I would tell psychiatrist that this is your "therapy" site and that it is confidential.

    I think your difficult child deserves a huge kudos for realizing it is your "private" space and not giving it up. That is awesome. It shows maturity.
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    difficult child did great in not telling about this site. It would be like having a therapist ask for all your friends' and relatives' names for the purpose of calling them up to find out what you are talking to them about and if they are giving good or bad advise. This forum certainly is like sharing private info with a close friend or relative. My difficult child does not know about me posting or reading anything. How did the therapist find out? Maybe if difficult child mentioned it therapist is just looking to see if difficult child may perhaps know how to access it on his own to read up on what you are sharing? However, if that was the case, therapist should ask if difficult child knew how to access the site and if he ever did - therapist doesn't need the details, just a simple yes or no.

    I don't know, but I wouldn't think it appropriate for a therapist to have the exact site. Whatever they are looking for would only be hearsay if taken from here and I would consider it as spying. You may want to right out ask therapist why that info is so important to him and tell him you do not feel it has any bearing on his job with difficult child.

    Can you call the man from the state agency back on Wednesday morning?
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry you didn't get the phone call, but it sounds like the therapist is going to work out. Given that difficult child feels somewhat comfortable already and therapist remembers him is a great way to start out! difficult child may be more open annd honest from the jump.

    In regards to the site; my difficult child's therapist knows about it. She was actually familiar with it before I mentioned it. I mentioned the site back in 2003 when it was my lifeline in the dark days with difficult child. Personally, I'm not sure that any therapist, or psychiatrist for that matter, would have the time or inclination to come onto this site and search for their patients or parents of patients. However, I understand the need for this to remain private. It's your comfort zone and should remain so for you.

    Hope the positive keeps on strong!

  5. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I hope the dr works out as well, it sounds all good. I'm sorry i'm so late to this. difficult child has been a handful as of late.

    What business is it of theirs that they have your personal information (site info) where you go what you do pertaining to the support you receive?? Isnt' that illegal???

    Impressed he didn't anti up either and understood that is your business no one elses.

    Are there any type of parent advocates up there that can assist you at all, as opposed to the ridiculous attorneys with whom cost too much??
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, difficult child got to school on time for second day in a row now. The female therapist (for me) didn't call yesterday. Maybe she was taking the day off, too, and forgot when she left me the message on Mon. I really don't like hounding people but I'm not particularly crazy about being swept under the rug either....

    She might not even be the "right" therapist for me but it always seems to take weeks of going thru this kind of stuff to even find out.

    Please keep fingers crossed that the man at the state agency didn't forget me!!
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Klmno, I don't think it's unreasonable to follow up 24 or 48 hours after someone else was supposed to get back to you. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 or 5 contacts before you're firmly on someone's radar. I don't think she'll perceive it as hounding...if she does, perhaps she's not the right therapist for you...

    I too hope that the man at the state agency didn't forget you. Can you follow up with him too? The details will still be fresh in his mind, and you don't want to lose momentum.

    Hope everything comes together according to plan...
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hi, Trinity! I did catch up with the therapist today. I asked if she was familiar with a particular kind of therapy (this is something I found that it specifically tailored for a certain problem and it sounds exactly like the therapy I had that helped me so much). She said she'd never heard of it. Then, she started trying to inform me of things- like answering questions that I didn't have. I don't know, but I'm thinking she isn't the one for me. I made an appointment with her for Mon, I might keep it but I'm going to keep looking. I don't have a lot of faith in people right now. We have to see the PO on Mon. too. I've already told difficult child to keep his answers to questions and comments focused only on his compliance with judge's orders. Any private issue needs to be discussed with his therapist- not the PO. I'm already cringing at the thought of this meeting. This PO is a real uneducated lame-brain.
  9. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Sorry the therapist sounds like a lemon...I hope you find someone who works well for you soon. It took me about 7 or 8 misfires before I found a therapist who was a good fit. Believe it or not, my divorce lawyer recommended him.

    As for the meeting with the PO, I just HATED those. Sending good vibes and prayers that difficult child stays on topic and only on topic. Hope the meeting goes well.

  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    This PO is a real uneducated lame-brain.

    Oh, dear. You don't need more of this. {{Hugs}}
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    No additional advice, just adding my hugs and support. Hope that state guy gets back to you soon.