Just checkinging in for an update. difficult child been serving up any more peanut butter crackers lately??? Hope things are going well. We miss you when we don't see you around for a couple days. Hope you check in soon.
Nope, still here, still reading. I'm just trying to keep my difficult child issues from dominating my life, and am actually paying attention to other things that have been neglected over the last few months (like my job, my health, the other members of my family, etc...)
difficult child has been sick with pneumonia for almost a week - so sick that he rarely left the house even when we said it was okay to go out for a few hours. So, for a week or so, I can say he's been clean.
We've seen these periods of clarity before, and that's when our old DS comes out. He's been reading more, been playing guitar more, actually went out with the family a few times (and appeared to enjoy it). He also made the cryptic comment a few days ago when he was out that "he thought he had friends, but he must have been mistaken".
wife and I are hoping that he's starting to realize during these periods of illness and confinement that the only connection he has to his "friends" is the pot - and the fact that his car is a taxi for the mooches in his pothead posse. When he's sick, they don't call, they don't come over, they don't really do anything to make him think that he's missed. Doesn't sound like "friends" to me, and I hope he's starting to see that.
The last time this happened, he actually went out and sought out these people again after they ignored him for a week (when he nearly died from asthma). They didn't come to him. There's something there in that group he feels he needs - pot smoking is part of it, but there's something else he gets there besides pot-using partners...
wife, therapist and I really feel that if we can help him break his dependance on that group for companionship and validation, we'll have a much better chance of getting him to address his issues with pot (which doesn't seem to be huge, because he's capable of going weeks without a hit and doesn't freak out one bit). And so far, the pothead posse hasn't disappointed me in how they've acted when my son has been sick. It's like they don't even miss him, and he's starting to see it. God willing, that will translate into something that helps him see his life for what it really is, and the need to make changes for his own sake.
Today was his first day back at school - we'll see how things went this evening when he gets home.
Thanks for asking about us. I'll post an update later.
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: SunnyFlorida</div><div class="ubbcode-body">Sorry he was so sick Mikey. He's had a pretty rough time lately.
It's such a shame that he can't quite find the friends that he needs to equate with ingenious personality.
Somehow this wasn't in the parenting book.</div></div>
What's sad is that he used to have such friends, but as he became more ingrained into the Pothead Posse, he eventually lost contact with them.
Now, I'm pretty sure he thinks they won't have anything to do with him because of what he is (or what he's tried very hard to make everyone think he is).
Funny thing, though, is that one of his old friends came by last week when he was sick at home. This friend hadn't been around for over a year, but came by and spent a few hours hanging out with my homebound son. It was wonderful, just like they'd never parted ways. And my son was actually happy.
My wife keeps telling difficult child that, even if he doesn't believe in God, that all the things happening to him lately must be some kind of sign. His old friend coming by when his "new" friends weren't to be found is just the latest example.