Nope, still here, still reading. I'm just trying to keep my difficult child issues from dominating my life, and am actually paying attention to other things that have been neglected over the last few months (like my job, my health, the other members of my family, etc...)
difficult child has been sick with pneumonia for almost a week - so sick that he rarely left the house even when we said it was okay to go out for a few hours. So, for a week or so, I can say he's been clean.
We've seen these periods of clarity before, and that's when our old DS comes out. He's been reading more, been playing guitar more, actually went out with the family a few times (and appeared to enjoy it). He also made the cryptic comment a few days ago when he was out that "he thought he had friends, but he must have been mistaken".
wife and I are hoping that he's starting to realize during these periods of illness and confinement that the only connection he has to his "friends" is the pot - and the fact that his car is a taxi for the mooches in his pothead posse. When he's sick, they don't call, they don't come over, they don't really do anything to make him think that he's missed. Doesn't sound like "friends" to me, and I hope he's starting to see that.
The last time this happened, he actually went out and sought out these people again after they ignored him for a week (when he nearly died from asthma). They didn't come to him. There's something there in that group he feels he needs - pot smoking is part of it, but there's something else he gets there besides pot-using partners...
wife, therapist and I really feel that if we can help him break his dependance on that group for companionship and validation, we'll have a much better chance of getting him to address his issues with pot (which doesn't seem to be huge, because he's capable of going weeks without a hit and doesn't freak out one bit). And so far, the pothead posse hasn't disappointed me in how they've acted when my son has been sick. It's like they don't even miss him, and he's starting to see it. God willing, that will translate into something that helps him see his life for what it really is, and the need to make changes for his own sake.
Today was his first day back at school - we'll see how things went this evening when he gets home.
Thanks for asking about us. I'll post an update later.
Mikey