How do we get through the interim?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well husband had to come with me to K's therapist apt. I had to ride in the back with K, she was attacking me and unbuckling her seatbelt, she was of course once again in her jammies.
    This has been her since Thursday~ Violent, we have had to restrain her, she has tried to gouge out my eyes when I was carrying her upstairs, she will not stop when she starts on something, she is is staying up hours later than normal, waking up very early, waking up in the middle of the night, fun!!! Wandering around our room... Looking for stuff.
    Knocking stuff over, punching me in the face.
    Arguing... fighting with N. Very grandiose... Said to me the other night after I had to restrain her, I am sorry Mom, the feelings in my head are telling me to do these things...

    The look has changed in her eyes when she starts attacking us. Very cold, and then she smiles or laughs.
    It is very scary.therapist thinks she is in a mixed state right now. She thinks she needs to be Hospitalized... but where!!! Ha Ha.

    Poor N has started covering her ears at the raise of any voice or any stern sound. She is suffering so much.
    I am having breakthrough mania, big time.
    husband is not happy...

    psychiatrist thinks she needs to be Hospitalized also, but his place is just not the answer... husband will not put her there.
    2 weeks for what? He mixes up her medications a bunch of times doesn't see the full affect sends her home... with no long term plan?!?!?! Then what?
    If we were at a place that had a long term goal or a team, maybe? A place that specialized in Mood Disorders, Yes!
    Our psychiatrist is at a Behavior Mod Clinic... he is good with ADHD.

    I don't know what to do???
    I feel so lost, so helpless. I feel like crying. We have calls into Arizona. therapist is worried about all of us. She wants me to have my medications adjusted.
    She agrees with us about the Hospitalization, and is trying to think of what to do, she is going to call psychiatrist.
    She said what about mother in law coming out to help? I would do that, but she is taking care of her Father, and it is hard on her to see K like this and she falls apart seeing it and then we have to help her deal with it and explain that we are not being mean when we put restrictions on her etc....
    I hate this!!!!K couldn't go to school today.. She was just sitting on the floor giggling... I finally put her upstairs and put a movie on.
    I just want to protect her...
    What do I do???
  2. PersonalEnigma

    PersonalEnigma New Member

    (((hugs))) No advice here but thinking of you.
  3. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Not to sound naive - but someone needs to see what is going on with her and help her. I'm failrly new here, but are you comfortable with your doctor? Is theer someone else you have been dealing with that would have a better solution? It just seems insane that we cannot get help for our kids when they are screaming out for help. I wish I could give better suggestions but I'm really not familiar with this area. I know it's diificult (to say the least!) but just keep plugging along until a better scenario is found (ASAP!). She needs help and I can't imagine how worn out you must be! My thoughts are with you!!! ((hugs))
  4. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    T, I'm so sorry for K, you, husband and little N. You all deserve a break.

    Can one of you fly to Chicago or Arizona and admit K to a pediatric psychiatric hospital there? Or have you thought about Stanford, Rogers Memorial in Wisconsin, Meridell in Texas or Menninger in Texas, which all have top-notch pediatric programs? I personally don't think you should mess around with a podunk program with a kid like K who needs really competent care. It's not worth it in the long run.

    Has K ever been on Seroquel? If I were to recommend one medication to tide you over until you get to Arizona, I'd choose Seroquel because it will work on mania, anxiety, depression and hallucinations.

    I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Sorry if I make you repeat something. Exactly what are her current medications providing to her? Is there benefit to her taking them? In other words, what is different for her with these medications?
    Is it possible her current actions are side effects?

    I agree with SW - she needs serious intervention with really knowledgeable professionals - specialists. Especially at her age. I think that is where the problem is - getting the serious help she needs - I do not think it is offered much at her age.

    :( HUGS!
  6. oceans

    oceans New Member

    It does not sound like she is on the right medications. Something is really off. I thought you were moving to Arizona? Are you still planning to do that, and when will it happen? It sounds like maybe one of you needs to take her and go there ahead of time if it is possible in any way and get her some help. It does sound like she needs to be inpatient, but at a really good place. Sorry to hear that it is so difficult right now.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911


    Hey friend. So our little Bug is being a bugger huh? Poor kid. Poor everyone.

    I don't know about where you are, but we have an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) here that has what is called a TDC program. Therapeutic Deescalation Program. IT can go from 2 days to 64 days. At 65 days the government says "sorry time up" but in that time - they are monitored by staff, they see a psychiatric once a week, and get medications trials based on the current and former medications. And they are locked down, WITH either all girls or all boys ages 5-17 (split 5-12) and (13-17). OH and a time out room that is sound proof and padded for very bad tempers.

    I actually think YOU and she would benefit from such a room. Convert a closet into a padded room - take her in there and let her sit or scream or kick or tire herself out. IT worked WONDERS for Dude. He took full advantage of it. And a punching bag or heavy bag hung for her to beat up instead of mommy - about $200.00 let her kick that and punch that - give her her own place for an ANGER OUTLET -

    A psychiatric hospital would be best - but like you said - if only for 2 weeks then forget it.

    Does Iowa have a University with a psychiatric department? Can you call them for questions about where to go?

    I would take her in a minute if I were closer so you could all get a break - Has anyone ever considered she may have schizophrenic tendencies? I don't know much about her diagnosis - but the voices in my head sound more schizoid to me. (not trying to be off base - just asking)

    No child or parent should have to go through what you are. It breaks my heart. Tell husband - sometimes doing what we don't want to do ends up being not such a bad deal. Dude was completely uncontrollable - and I never wanted to have him out of my house - but it was necessary for him to get the level of structure he needed to get better. He was 6 the first time they took him from the ER to the state psyc. hospital - but they really did do him a LOT of good, got him diagnosis correctly and got his medications tweaked - except for being lonely occasionally (I went every day till they told me that wasn't good for him) he did pretty well. I cried those huge sobs from about the time I said "Goodbye," and held it together to get out of earshot every day - but I knew it was for his good.

    Some days it just plain inhales to be a parent.

    Much hugs and love
  8. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Seriously, why not Chicago?

    We have Children's Memorial, Loyola, University of Chicago, and Rush. Out in the burbs we have Alexian Brothers, they are one of the best. My gosh, you could stay with me.

    Sending every hug and prayer and rattled bead and crossed body part and lit candle I can find.
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Sweetie.........BIG hugs, again. I am SO sorry. If I were there, I would scoop all of you up, and try to provide at least one of you respite.

    I think I agree with Smallworld, about getting a head start on AZ? Maybe driving up there with K and getting her in the psychiatric hospital there?

    You know, any psychiatric hospital you put her in is not going to do more than hospital for 2-3 weeks, max, with-out admitting her to a Residential Treatment Center (RTC).....or day treatment. And here in Dallas, day treatment did not last more than the psychiatric hospital, which was 4 days!! None the less, you are going to have to do something...........even if it is short term.

    It sounds like the medication wash is not going well, and she is going to have to be on something, and perhaps placed somewhere where trialing the new medications.

    I would try to find just one thing, and just take that a step. At this point it HAS to be in the right direction. :mad:

    What about at least a good PRN for now? I think Seroquel gave her TDK, but what about Zyprexa as a PRN? Something, or you and your family are going to be worse off than K.

    Please PM me, if you need anything.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Many, many hugs.
  11. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Depending on insurance coverage, day treatment can follow inpatient and last many weeks. My son just finished 6 weeks in a day treatment program at a local psychiatric hospital. The attending psychiatrist worked really hard on getting a good medication mix. It's not perfect, but we're on an upward trajectory.

    T, hope you get some help soon.
  12. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sending lots and lots of hugs.

  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Thank you everyone... I am sitting here crying. She is such a wreck. No we are not doing the medication wash yet. We had started the Topamax, so we wanted to give it a chance, we were trying to get up to 200mg, 100BID, per psychiatrist. He claims, it is GREAT for mixed states for kids.... hmmm. He felt the Lamictal was GREAT for kids with anxiety and BiPolar (BP)... Hmmm.
    So she is at 175mg Topamax right now.
    He doesn't know if it is the Topamax triggering all of this or if it the increase in daylight
    and just her being BiPolar (BP)? As well as her medications not working? Could be all of the above could be a combo... who knows.
    I am just waiting to talk to anyone at UofA tomorrow I will call back and see if I can get in to someone else... I have a place to stay my inlaws and a car to drive. Plus a long term plan, with clinics, if this place feels right...

    I just want to check it out first before before we throw it all at Arizona... Know what I mean??
    They have the long term, the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF), the psychiatric hospital, the Schools... it sounds good on paper...

    I will see what therapist has to say... and hopefully we can keep moving... somewhere tomorrow... I don't know if it is forward???

    Thank you all I feel a bit better, I couldn't log on for a couple of days... I was wondering around the house mumbling to myself... I cried to BBK that I was kicked off!!!
  14. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i'm so so sorry for what you are going through. are there any type of facilities in idaho or neighborhing states that offer what it is you are looking for. which by the way to me makes alot of sense. long term plan is so important. i'm going to look on web if i can and see if i can find something for you. don't loose faith, if you drink tea or alcohol make yourself a cup of tea or a strong drink if you are able to lock yourself in a room if you can get away for ten mins. and just breath. sounds stupid i know with all you have goign on. yet i do that sometimes just breath.'

    lots of hugs to you

  15. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    FWIW, my experience with my kids and Lamictal is that it helps with the depressive end of BiPolar (BP) and not anxiety (and certainly not mania -- my son had breakthrough mania on 400 mg Lamictal). And my son's psychiatrist at the day treatment program told us Topamax has not proven effective for kids with BiPolar (BP). It is not even FDA approved for BiPolar (BP). It is approved for seizures and migraines. My guess is that you're seeing a lot of mania, anxiety and possibly hallucinations, which are not getting targeted treatment at this point.

    Good luck with Arizona tomorrow. Hugs again.
  16. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I'm so sorry, T. I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all better.

  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member


    I am a big fan of the topamax/lamictal combo because it has worked well for me but even it doesnt curb all of my anxiety. I still have to take klonopin prn. (Ok...mostly every day that Cory is alive and in my face!) I do have less mania with that combo but it may be just my body chemistry. I still hit hypo from time to time.

    I think its a good thing to attempt to get to AZ if you can. She needs to be seen ASAP. Something has to give for both of you. If you need to have your medications it. It can only help the situation. The calmer you are, the calmer she will be.

    I am here if you need to scream.
  18. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Totoro, I'm super sorry to hear this latest update.

    I agree with the others that it sounds like past due time for hospitalization.

    When you look at options, be sure and think about yourself and where YOU will be best supported by husband, friends and family. If that means heading back to Chicago for the interim, so be it.

    You've been dealing with this full bore for months now without a break and without much in the way of hands-on, local support.
  19. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    O, Totoro,

    I am so very sorry. It seems this new medication is not working so well for her. I am sending hugs and prayers you can find the help she needs. And that you can become more stable also.


  20. Bugsy

    Bugsy New Member

    So sorry Totoro,
    I have no wise words but I am living it with you right now. I have had him home for almost 2 weeks homeschooling because he was unable to handle school. So now it is truly 24/7.
    I am keeping up on your story, maybe words you receive will help us and if I find out anything I will share with you.
    wishing you peace,
    Bugsy's mom