I ended up resigning, I knew they were frustrated and I felt frustrated too when I had to miss seeing my students because of calls and leaving to get him for suspensions etc. It was out of hand and too much stress. We are in financial distress for sure, but it has been four or five years now since I left. I have tried to find another option but I'd have to start after he goes to school and get home before he does, that is not easy. No such thing as daycare or a babysitter for a kid who has his kinds of behaviors or for a student his age around here. I am hoping with this better school placement where they are more equipt to deal with his issues, I can maybe sub. or do part time work finally.
When you said you had a near miss...do you mean they wanted her to go or you wanted her to go? Do you think they are staffed well enough to support her? Are you comfortable with an ADHD/anxiety/ODD diagnosis? anxiety and ODD behaviors are often symptoms that go with bigger "umbrella" diagnosis like bipolar and autism. Has she had an evaluation outside of the doctor who provides medications? They are often more narrow in focus and many developmental issues can be missed by them.
Have you ever considered a neuropsychologist. evaluation? These psychologists are trained additionally in neurology and can help connect behaviors, moods, etc.... with how the brain works. They can give a better, more objective diagnosis ranging from neurodevelopmental conditions like autism, or adhd to mood disorders like bipolar, to emotional problems like PTSD.....
Does she have any other interesting or concerning behaviors? How is she socially at home, does she have any sensory issues (sensitive to sounds, smells, tastes, touch etc...or seeks out these things?). How does she do when you go from one place or activity to another? How does she do if her idea of how things should go changes? Does she switch moods drastically and easily? Does she get angry easily. Any family history of any mental health issues? Any birth history that would help explain her struggles?
I know it sounds like I am nosy but really it is that many of us have these issues and we can share with you more if we understand more about what is going on.
Share only what you are comfortable sharing of course! Anyway, welcome and yes it is really a tough thing. We have to provide housing and food and it is scary to be so financially on edge.
What kind of therapy does she go to? Have you ever considered a speech and language evaluation or an Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation to see if there are any things you can work on to help reduce some of the behavioral challenges which may have u nderlying causes within these two developmental areas?
Many of us have found that there are issues (some obvious and some subtle and we dont know till they do the evaluation). It can help to do these and bring the results to the neuropsychologist (big evaluation is really important if you haven't done so yet)....
For many kids with your daughter's symptoms/issues...the gap widens as they get older. They have to be more organized, more independent, navigate much more unwritten rules and social situations. The language level goes up dramatically....
I'd doubt that things will get much easier given what you posted. I could be very wrong but it is a common pattern, especially without appropriate accommodations and supports in place.
If you are being called so often then her supports in school are not adequate. Did you say if she has an IEP? Has she had an evaluation in school? recently? Let us know and if you want any support in that area there are lots of us who have been through this.