How does anyone deal with the violence?
- Thread starter ohdearme
- Start date
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
Welcome. I'm so sorry such tragic circumstances have lead you here, I can only imagine the pain you are suffering through. I must advise you, however, to be very careful not to give any identifiable information as you may inadvertently affect your child's present and future legal proceedings because this is a public forum read worldwide. You will receive a lot of support from this wonderful group of parents, even if they haven't faced this specific issue.
Steely
Active Member
I am so terribly sorry.
Where is your son now? (not specifically where, but is he at home, juvy, foster, etc)
What do you need help with?
We are here, and we understand.
Please post more so we can help. We are a non judgmental group who truly understand children and their disorders.
Where is your son now? (not specifically where, but is he at home, juvy, foster, etc)
What do you need help with?
We are here, and we understand.
Please post more so we can help. We are a non judgmental group who truly understand children and their disorders.
trinityroyal
Well-Known Member
Ohdearme, I am so sorry. Your pain is palpable.
I am very glad you found us. As Steely said, we are here to listen and help, not to judge.
Being mindful that you don't want to divulge any identifying information, if/when you feel you're ready, please tell us what you need help with.
For now, sending many gentle hugs.
Trinity
I am very glad you found us. As Steely said, we are here to listen and help, not to judge.
Being mindful that you don't want to divulge any identifying information, if/when you feel you're ready, please tell us what you need help with.
For now, sending many gentle hugs.
Trinity
smallworld
Moderator
Welcome. I'm sorry for what's going on in your life.
Please let us know how we can help. Depending on the circumstances, you might be able to get some advice and support from your local chapter of NAMI (www.nami.org) or the National Federation for Children's Mental Health (www.ffcmh.org).
Again, I'm so very sorry.
Please let us know how we can help. Depending on the circumstances, you might be able to get some advice and support from your local chapter of NAMI (www.nami.org) or the National Federation for Children's Mental Health (www.ffcmh.org).
Again, I'm so very sorry.
klmno
Active Member
I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going thourgh. I hope we can help- this is an amazing support group and our kids are nowhere close to perfect. If you want to tell us what bothers you the most, what hurts the most, what lead up to this- whatever- we will listen and help as much as we can. Again, I am very sorry.
Odearyou...I hope you find the solace and the ideas that help you to cope.
I thought about your words for awhile. And we all feel that we are alone with the
concern and the grief that the situations our sons and daughters bring into our life. But no one is, really. Whatever is feeling that nobody understands...it is never really completely so...we all suffer after the behavor our children engage hurts: it hurts others, it hurts our child, it hurts us.
There are many parents who do know what it is to learn that their son or daughter has killed another. And the courts know too. One day we will have even more awareness for getting proper care to children earlier and for creating safe environments for those who need them through their lives.
I am so sorry that you are going through this.
The only way to deal with violence is to stop doing violence.
I thought about your words for awhile. And we all feel that we are alone with the
concern and the grief that the situations our sons and daughters bring into our life. But no one is, really. Whatever is feeling that nobody understands...it is never really completely so...we all suffer after the behavor our children engage hurts: it hurts others, it hurts our child, it hurts us.
There are many parents who do know what it is to learn that their son or daughter has killed another. And the courts know too. One day we will have even more awareness for getting proper care to children earlier and for creating safe environments for those who need them through their lives.
I am so sorry that you are going through this.
The only way to deal with violence is to stop doing violence.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Nothing to add since I don't know much. I hope you feel comfortable sharing sometime. We are here for you.
F
flutterbee
Guest
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I'm sorry for you son, too.
He is your son. That will not change. Your love for him will not change. You can hate what he did, but one action - no matter how horrible - does not define a person.
I'm sure you're heart is breaking and you are going through pure hell. I can only imagine. I'm glad you have come here for support because I think it is really important for you to have that. Someone (or someones) that are here for you.
(((hugs)))
He is your son. That will not change. Your love for him will not change. You can hate what he did, but one action - no matter how horrible - does not define a person.
I'm sure you're heart is breaking and you are going through pure hell. I can only imagine. I'm glad you have come here for support because I think it is really important for you to have that. Someone (or someones) that are here for you.
(((hugs)))
timer lady
Queen of Hearts
It's gotten to the point where I've had to call 911 & request transport of a mentally ill child to the ER. Of course, the police arrive with that kind of call ~ I no longer care.
Before it arrives to the level of violence I try to call in crisis team. The crisis team (here) are able to de-escalate things most times.
Hope you can find help for your difficult child.
Before it arrives to the level of violence I try to call in crisis team. The crisis team (here) are able to de-escalate things most times.
Hope you can find help for your difficult child.
Critter Lover
New Member
Welcome and sorry for what you are going through.
Hugs and prayers for support.
Critter Lover
Hugs and prayers for support.
Critter Lover
I'm so, so sorry. I cannot imagine how painful this must be for you. If it's of any comfort, I want you to know that in recent years, when I read of a young person acting out in such a way (e.g., the young man who shot all those people at VaTech); I find myself more and more wondering about his family, and the pain they must be going through. I know how much it hurts me when my Oldest does something to hurt other people, even in non-violent ways ... to have it get to this extreme must be truly heartbreaking.
I hope you post again soon and can find some comfort here. These are wonderful people.
I hope you post again soon and can find some comfort here. These are wonderful people.
everywoman
Well-Known Member
You are living the nightmare that many of us have hope we all avoid. I can imagine the isolation and lonliness you must feel. Please understand that it is not your fault. You child made a choice. You can't contol another human being and the choices they make. We all have free will. I'm sorry for your pain. I can't imagine how hard it must be.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Ohdearme,
welcome.
I have no words to express my profound sadness.
I can only assume you are wondering how to deal with-the aftermath of violence, because you will no longer have it in your home. I'm sure your son has been arrested and the authorities are dealing with-it. I hope you are able to hire a good lawyer and advocate for therapy and medications for your son.
I'm still at the point where my son is young enough that we simply remove breakable items, and walk away when he's in a rage.
I have no idea what I would do in your situation. My heart goes out to all of you.
Please make an appointment to get yourself some help. A good therapist is paramount to healing and moving on. You've got a lot to deal with.
welcome.
I have no words to express my profound sadness.
I can only assume you are wondering how to deal with-the aftermath of violence, because you will no longer have it in your home. I'm sure your son has been arrested and the authorities are dealing with-it. I hope you are able to hire a good lawyer and advocate for therapy and medications for your son.
I'm still at the point where my son is young enough that we simply remove breakable items, and walk away when he's in a rage.
I have no idea what I would do in your situation. My heart goes out to all of you.
Please make an appointment to get yourself some help. A good therapist is paramount to healing and moving on. You've got a lot to deal with.
L
luvmyottb
Guest
I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family. When you are ready to talk, we will listen. I hope you can get some counseling for yourself. You despise what your child has done, but you will always have love in your heart for them. I am sending you healing hugs and support. Welcome to our group.
