How to avoid the panic?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by lizanne2, Nov 2, 2009.

  1. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    Hay Gang:

    Wondering if you all get this feeling? Two months now into the mainstream school and it appears things are going well. The football coach reports nothing has happened that he can't handle!

    And then I go to the JV game today and my difficult child is acting the fool. He is still angry and throwing stuff and mouthing off about something that happened first quarter.

    Then he explains that a substitute he had two periods today was giving him a hard time. He walked out the second time and went to guidance. He later got a text from a classmate and apparently the kids were singing and dancing and jokign around after he left and nobody else got in trouble.

    I told him
    1. good you left the class--next time ask
    2. good you went right to guidance

    But I said I was worried he held on to the issue all the way through football. He said there is no where in this school to get it out. My reccomendations were no good. Of course I am the mom.

    OK here it is-----how do i stop from having ME over react. HE is 15 and he is doing ok. I am not sure how to handle this. Call the school----or don't? The must know cuz he was in guidance.......

    I seem to still have the same degree of panic in me that it will all fall apart.

    any thoughts?
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I'd be talking to guidance, let that person know how you feel. Because guidance is there to help your son. And your response as well as your observations, are vitally important.

    We kept a communication book which travelled to and from school. In it I would write things they needed to know about difficult child 3 ("he didn't sleep well last night, had nightmares. He could be tired and irritable"). The teacher would note any warnings, would add her own comments ("He did well first thing but flagged noticeably. I noted that he could be tired and sent him to the nurse's office for half an hour. It seemed to help").

    At 15 it's more difficult to do this, especially with multiple teachers. And especially with substitutes. But any communication you can set up, any light you can shed onto his problems, can only be a help.

    Talk to guidance and let them know of your observations - he was still upset about it hours later. Guidance needs to know this so they can better support their substitutes and help them know how to handle him better. They also need to know so they can help him get over it faster (and know they need to!). And maybe guidance can reassure you, and help you feel that there is some use to your own fears here.

    All round - err on the side of more communication, not less.

    What diagnosis does he have? Has he been tested for Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)? A neuropsychologist can help a great deal with understanding.

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I would call the guidance office and say something to the effect, "My son told me about a situation he was in yesterday. He stated he left a classroom and went to your office for help. He was still very upset about it last night. I don't want to contridict any advise you gave him. How can I respond at home to help support your guidance?" and see what happens.
  4. embertin

    embertin New Member

    I get those, not as bad as that though, there is one cure and that is medication, also try to cam yourseld tell your self that its ok, that its not something to freak out about, also carry with you room tempature water everywhere you go like that because when you feel one coming, drink the water slowly and drink one sip count to 10 and then take another sip count to 10 then on and so on.

    hope that i helped