back after a few years

bluebell

Well-Known Member
Thank you all! I got a really bad Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) (I always do this after one of my son's stunts, even before cancer). I was really sick but feeling better now. Truth is stranger than fiction when it comes to my son. He's living with someone he works with apparently and it looks like he has made a friend in jail because he is paying for phone calls. I looked the guy up and he's a 45 year old schizophrenic career criminal with the same charges.
And, please don't take this the wrong way but my son is VERY much against homosexuality and he is a racist white male. The guy he's living with is gay and this guy in jail is black. I'm so confused and scared for the individual he is living with.
 
my son is VERY much against homosexuality and he is a racist white male.

Glad you're feeling better bluebell. Your son sounds like my son. He was living with a gay guy too but the gay guy died while my son was in jail for 5 months. I think it's better when we don't know where they are or who they're with. I had mine blocked for 3 years up until about 8 months ago. I should have kept it that way a while longer. I've had a rough day with mine calling and ruining my birthday with his drama. Either way, in touch or not in touch, it's so hard.

Sending you a hug and I hope you stay well!
 

bluebell

Well-Known Member
Just an update, my son was hounding me about the charges he received thru texts, what was going to happen him, etc. I told him to get a lawyer. He said he couldn't afford one. He's living with someone and still working (amazingly), so I told him he needs to call one and see what they charge (how would I know?). So he did and he's been put on a payment plan. This is so hard, it's not like his other charges that were DWI or drug related, these are ones where me and my family are the victims! My instinct is to help him, but I'm not sure I'm the right person to do this, it seems duplicitous. And I feel like I have to stay angry with him to keep myself from swooping in, but the anger is not good for my health. I just don't know what to do, and I'm sure the next crisis is right around the corner.
 

bluebell

Well-Known Member
And he keeps asking if we have lifted the no contact order. Is he living in a dreamland? It's not like he's apologized or anything. He just says he was blackout drunk, but when I mentioned he almost killed his dad, he said 'Noone almost died'. How does he know if he was blackout drunk? He knew enough to ask the cop for his wallet and work badge before they drove off, so I'm thinking there was some level of awareness.....
 
My son hit me with his fist after he broke the rule and got drunk at my house the night before. I kept my word that he'd be homeless if he drank again under my roof so I drove him two hours to drop him at his dad's. That was almost 4 years ago and he was stone cold sober that day. Swears he didn't hit me and says he doesn't remember it? I would do exactly what you and your husband are doing if he ever did it again. Stay strong! Violence is unacceptable in any and all circumstances.
 

bluebell

Well-Known Member
Thanks, I guess he is not as stable as I thought, he just checked in to a hotel. Why does my heart hurt so bad for someone who tried to destroy me? This is so hard!
 
Because we are mothers. We carried them and gave birth to them, loved, protected and cared for all of their needs from day one. I believe that causes us to have this invisible umbilical cord for life. I agree this is so hard but you are not alone. Mine has epilepsy too so it feels even harder. I'm praying for you to keep your strength. I just keep reminding myself how fast my son always turns on me after everything I've sacrificed and done for him. He at least owes me respect and a sincere apology and I can't even get that? Stay the course! What we allow will continue.
 

bluebell

Well-Known Member
Thank you! I haven't posted in a couple of weeks but I just felt something was going on. Women's (mother's) intuition is strange isn't it?
 
It most certainly is. Again, I believe it's that invisible umbilical cord that keeps us connected for life and gives us that intuition. Glad you keep coming back. The support here is phenomenal! Try and think of yourself today and have a good day! You deserve it.
 
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