I am having a real problem with husband. He insists on carrying a ton of cards in his wallet - some are necessary and some are not. But he won't spend more than $5 on a wallet and has returned many in the past because tehy were "too expensive". He drops the money cards constantly. If he changes pants the wallet gets dropped. When he takes his pants off he drapes them over something and the wallet falls out. One of the cards, the one that usually has $$ on it, is close to the color of our carpet and blends really well. husband won't EVER pick up anything or ask the kids to, so the place is messy. So he "cannot" find the card.
He now is trying to say it falls out because Jess is taking it. What would she do with it? We are way to far from anywhere seh could use it for anything. NOTHING has been purchased that she doesn't have a truthful explanation for how she got the money. Most is from my parents and is because they give the kids a certain amt of cash each month. Never got a good explanation of why, but my dad insists on it. Not a lot, maybe $5 a week per kid. husband thinks Jess has more because she buys a lot. But that kid can squeeze a buck until it cries for mercy. She buys almost nothing new unless she has a coupon and it is on sale. Lots of the things she gets are ordered online - BY ME. She NEVER buys things online because she has no paypal account and no debit card. She is NOT using the card he drops. there have NEVER been charges on it that husband or I did not make. NEVER. NOT EVEN ONE.
But he STILL insists that the only reason the card doesn't stay in his wallet is because she takes it. I do NOT understand. I have seen it, with my own eyes, fall out when he didn't notice it.
It doesn't help that when he looks he glances around but looks under NOTHING and will move stuff around in a haphazard way and often covers it up because he is just stirring his mail and stuff around (the mail that he refuses to throw away or read - koi from various community colleges, car dealers, etc..... NOT mail we need/pay attention to.
thank you never finds it because he doesn't actually see things when he is looking for something. If it isn't in the first place he looks, an item can bite him six or seven times before he wills see it. husband also does this.
But Jessie looks in a careful, organized way. Usually cleaning as she goes so she can tell where she has looked and knows it isn't there. So it is no wonder that she keeps finding it for him.
HOW do I get through his idiot head that she is NOT stealing his debit card? That HE is dropping it everywhere and is just lousy at looking for things? It isn't like this is the only thing he cannot find. He cannot find almost anything that he misplaces. Mostly because he just gets upset and won't look in any organized way.
How do I keep him from consistently blaming Jess for HIS mistakes? She is getting very angry with him and I cannot blame her. She is also losing a LOT of respect for him and I cannot blame her for that either. I have lost respect for him over this also.
Thanks for any ideas and/or suggestion. I have FULLY investigated where Jess gets/finds money and it ALWAYS comes back to where she said she got it from. EVERY time. My parents always know the EXACT amount, to the penny, that they have given her. She did just find a lot of money in her room in an old wallet, but two years ago she lost it with her birthday money in it. I wrote an email note to myself with a description of the wallet and how much she had in it. What she found corresponded EXACTLY with that note. And she did NOT know I had written the note. I have not found a single incident, not ONE, where she had money that was not from a source that corroborated her explanation of where she got it.
She just isn't stealing. No matter WHAT husband says or does, he cannot even find a hint of evidence to say she is. But he won't believe that she isn't doing it.
He now is trying to say it falls out because Jess is taking it. What would she do with it? We are way to far from anywhere seh could use it for anything. NOTHING has been purchased that she doesn't have a truthful explanation for how she got the money. Most is from my parents and is because they give the kids a certain amt of cash each month. Never got a good explanation of why, but my dad insists on it. Not a lot, maybe $5 a week per kid. husband thinks Jess has more because she buys a lot. But that kid can squeeze a buck until it cries for mercy. She buys almost nothing new unless she has a coupon and it is on sale. Lots of the things she gets are ordered online - BY ME. She NEVER buys things online because she has no paypal account and no debit card. She is NOT using the card he drops. there have NEVER been charges on it that husband or I did not make. NEVER. NOT EVEN ONE.
But he STILL insists that the only reason the card doesn't stay in his wallet is because she takes it. I do NOT understand. I have seen it, with my own eyes, fall out when he didn't notice it.
It doesn't help that when he looks he glances around but looks under NOTHING and will move stuff around in a haphazard way and often covers it up because he is just stirring his mail and stuff around (the mail that he refuses to throw away or read - koi from various community colleges, car dealers, etc..... NOT mail we need/pay attention to.
thank you never finds it because he doesn't actually see things when he is looking for something. If it isn't in the first place he looks, an item can bite him six or seven times before he wills see it. husband also does this.
But Jessie looks in a careful, organized way. Usually cleaning as she goes so she can tell where she has looked and knows it isn't there. So it is no wonder that she keeps finding it for him.
HOW do I get through his idiot head that she is NOT stealing his debit card? That HE is dropping it everywhere and is just lousy at looking for things? It isn't like this is the only thing he cannot find. He cannot find almost anything that he misplaces. Mostly because he just gets upset and won't look in any organized way.
How do I keep him from consistently blaming Jess for HIS mistakes? She is getting very angry with him and I cannot blame her. She is also losing a LOT of respect for him and I cannot blame her for that either. I have lost respect for him over this also.
Thanks for any ideas and/or suggestion. I have FULLY investigated where Jess gets/finds money and it ALWAYS comes back to where she said she got it from. EVERY time. My parents always know the EXACT amount, to the penny, that they have given her. She did just find a lot of money in her room in an old wallet, but two years ago she lost it with her birthday money in it. I wrote an email note to myself with a description of the wallet and how much she had in it. What she found corresponded EXACTLY with that note. And she did NOT know I had written the note. I have not found a single incident, not ONE, where she had money that was not from a source that corroborated her explanation of where she got it.
She just isn't stealing. No matter WHAT husband says or does, he cannot even find a hint of evidence to say she is. But he won't believe that she isn't doing it.
