I had a short retreat to our summer cottage, because everyone seemed to be miffed with me and I was miffed with everyone at home. I did manage to relax some and do some thinking. With husband I'm sticking my ground and it doesn't really bother me that difficult child is miffed, he has no reason to be and it is his own business in what timetable he is willing to get over it. I don't have to really deal with it, so that can be. But my sweet little easy child made me think. No, I'm not changing the plans when it comes his school work. He needs to keep up with his homework and I will insist it for now. He will not get a freedom to fall flat on his face just now, just because we had to let difficult child take care of his school work on his own terms in the same age. And that talk about me favouring difficult child is typical sibling rivalry nonsense. That will not get him anywhere fast. BUT he did made me think. I can see why he could think I don't appreciate him enough. That I always only nag and demand things from him even when he is doing such a good job with everything. To be honest; I do give him praise. A lot of it. I do tell him how happy I'm with him. But I could show it to him much more. And showing is much more important than telling. We have been a busy family a long time. Kids activities really made a challenging timetable and we dealt with it with dividing the responsibilities. Both of our sons did three sports a long time. husband took care of one of those sports for both (the one he liked the best himself, neither of our kids loved it best) and easy child's favourite sport and mostly his third sport. I did take care of difficult child's other two sports, school issues with both and music hobby for both. Now for easy child only school and one sport are left. His last year in music school was more or less forcing him to go through with it. While he did enjoy playing, didn't mind theory or band, it took time and he wasn't willing to practise that much. I wanted him to get to certain level before quitting. He did but that last year I needed to push him some. I tend to be a chore master around the house too. So my interaction with easy child has some time been a lot about demanding him to do something, nagging and pushing. Not like it was, when he was younger and when I played with him, he liked to help me with chores etc. We used to be very close, and while we still are reasonably close considering his age, I do feel we are not having much fun together any more. I go to watch his bigger games, but to be honest, he doesn't care (could care if I didn't though.) I also get it that he is busy and when he does have free time, he will rather spend it with friends. But I would like it, if I could sneak in some fun mommy and son time every here and there. And I could use some ideas how to do that. So after all the unnecessary chattiness to my point: Dear CD Members, how can I find ways to do fun things together with my lovely, busy, sweet sixteen son? PS: My doggie was ecstatic just to see me again and can't help showing his appreciation. Why can't my other men be more like him?