How to learn, when the notion of "Concepts" aren't registering???


New Member

After posting on my other thread, it occurred to me that after reading all of those parenting stuff and nothing helping, then "I" have a problem understanding "Conceptial teaching". In my career as a CPA or Auditor, I've heard several times from collegues that "I can't see the forest through the trees", when we are discussing something. Even that "concept" didn't make sense to me for years. Then one day the "light bulb" went off.

So, how do I learn to be a better nurturing parent to difficult child when I learn from "Visual Step by Step problem solving"? Concepts only made sense when they were regarding Tax Law, etc; where the item is "Conceptual" in it self. But, to "Do" something such as a new cooking technique, Due-It-Yourself home improvements; pictorial illustrations say millions to me; while text alone hardly teaches me anything and truly confuses me. I have to read & read, and TRY to picture in my mind what they're saying. And even then I'm doubtful that I'm doing it right. But a Picture tells me everything.

So, without One-on-One parenting tutoring, how can I learn this stuff?

Any thoughts?? Thanks.
The written word is a marvelous thing and has helped humans amass far more information than any single one could possibly hold in her or his mind. We rely on it a great deal now, especially for learning. But we didn't always have the written word (or even the spoken word) and only learned from watching and imitating. You know that parenting thing, Do as I say, not as I do? Doesn't work, does it? The cubs watch us live and that's what they do. Every irritating habit and gesture we have comes out in the cub.

All I can suggest is using videos or watching functional families interact. A pal who understands your approach to learning may be able to help you. There are plenty of people who read book after book and don't get anywhere. At least you have an idea of what you need to do. There are some great parenting classes out there. Bet they'd help demonstrate some of the concepts.

Good luck!


New Member
Thank you.

It's very weird. In college, some things I had to "see" being done. Like T-accounts, Journal entries, placement on Financials, etc. Then there was Tax, Business Law, Auditing; which is totally conceptual, and I excelled in that. So in my daily life it's the same thing. Somethings are ok, and some aren't. I just know that alot of times when someone tells me there approach to parenting, I look at them like a deer in headlights.

Regarding parenting class. I've always said that I would like to take a "good" class.
I'm a bitter, cynical sort and it's my opinion that very few people HAVE a coherent approach to parenting, much less the ability to explain it. They just do it. Maybe you feel like a deer in the headlights because what they're saying just really doesn't make any flipping sense period.

The best parenting classes I've heard about have been associated with universities with child development centers. Maybe your psychiatrist can recommend something local. Good luck to you!


Active Member
In trying to get me and my husband on the same page parenting wise my therapist suggested role playing what to do before hand. Maybe this would work for you. Get a therapist (or someone who remotely knows about difficult children) to role play difficult child situations with you. I'm impressed that you know your learning style.


Active Member
A few thoughts - maybe you're just a pragmatic person who learns best by example. And yes, quite often a lot of people waffle (I've been guilty of that myself!).

Learning from videos or charts can be a better way for you.

A suggestion - if all you have is a big chunk of text, how are you at making up your own diagrams and charts freom that? For example, if instructions say, "walk north ten paces then turn ninety degrees and walk thirty paces to the east..." can you either visualise it or grab a pencil and actually draw it out like a treasure map?

Another related suggestion - have you tried mind-mapping? It's also known as clustering and can be really helpful at unravelling the information from huge chunks of text.

difficult child 1 had huge problems like this, he could never extract the useful information from text without mammoth effort and vast amounts of time. And yet, by learning to effectively use mind mapping, he wasable to make the job more effective and much faster, finally matriculating from our high school system (which is close to your college, I believe).

If he coud do it, it's worth a try for anyone.



Roll With It
Look for videos of the things you want to learn. Or audiobooks if those work better than reading.

Act out some of the things in the books you do have.

Here are some parenting dvds I found on amazon:

This one is about the Explosive Child, Ross Greene is one of the writers!

I am sure you can find much more. I know the Love and Logic catalog offers videos too.




New Member
Thanks Emily,

I guess I figured it out when I was studying for the CPA test. I knew that from part of the test, I needed to buy the study videos that showed a teacher at the chalk board. But then another part of the test I needed only an outline form to memorize the conceptual part of the test. I've always remembered the difference after that.


New Member
Thanks Marguarite.

I've never heard of mind mapping, but I'll start researching it.

Thanks Suzi,

I look into things links.