Hubs has Sepsis

[pigless in VA]

What more could she have done, in her own grief and guilt, but to look for a bad guy, onto whom to project her feelings? How could we not feel compassion for her? While she is responsible for the hurt she has caused, this was not her goal. Surely it was not. She loves her father.

Copa expressed this thought beautifully. Rain is a hurt and broken child in the grip of addiction. She lashes out from a place of pain and confusion. You can expect more nasty comments from her in the near future.

We know that you did your best for Hubs. Your heart was always in the most loving place when caring for him. I'm sorry that she cannot see that for herself.

 

[GoingNorth]

Leafy, my father in law accused me of killing my husband because I didn't override his wishes for no further treatment.

He accused me in front of the gathered members of husband's side of the family. None of them have spoken to me since the gathering at father in law's house after the memorial service. Its as if our marriage never existed.

I know father in law hated my guts because he felt my husband had married "below himself", but I was hurt anyways.

 

[GoingNorth]

Now, I know that father in law was coming from a place of grief and guilt, (he had abused my husband throughout his childhood and teens) and he died a couple of years after husband's death.

My mother and I went to his funeral and not a soul acknowledged us in any way.

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

Leafy, I am so sorry for your loss.

Love, Esther

 

[pasajes4]

You are a good mother and a loving wife. Your husband wanted to know the comforts of his own home. I believe God grants the gift of awareness and peace to those whose time has come and for a few hours or days it seems they are getting better and are present in the moment and able to say the things they need to say. I witnessed this with my father and with my dear friend. Your husband received this gift. He was where he wanted to be. You allowed him this gift.

 

[BusynMember]

Death brings out the worst in dysfunctional people. Leafy, you are too kind to have done anything "wrong." You granted your husband's wishes.

I believe he will be with you always and love you forever.

 

[susiestar]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. My bro said many awful things after the deaths of my gpa and gma though they were years apart. When he finally got sober, he revealed that he said them because he blamed himself for their deaths though he was many miles away and in no way responsible. He was a teen when Gpa died but already in the throes of his addiction and the things he said were simply him turning the feelings he was unable to feel or process on the rest of us.

I truly hope and pray that Rain is able, when the time is right for her, to clean up and live right and atone for the ugly things she has said. She was wrong, plain and simple. Please don't let her immature and childish words make your journey through grief worse.

We are here for you, and will continue to be here for you, period.

 

[Origami]

Leafy, I'm so sorry to read about this and can't imagine what you are going through. It's so strange how our world can be changed dramatically in what seems like an instant. I hope you are comforted knowing that you made your husband's life so much better both at the end and throughout your marriage.

 

[UpandDown]

Leafy,
May your husband rest in peace and your family find peace and comfort in each other. I am very sorry and am thinking of you. You offer us so much support and kindness, I pray you are surrounded by people as kind and loving as you.

 

[Californiablonde]

I am so, so sorry for your loss, Leafy. I will pray you find some peace and comfort during this very difficult time. Hugs.

 

[FlowerGarden]

My thoughts and prayers are with you. So sorry for your loss.

 

[Feeling Sad]

Leafy, cherish all of the beautiful memories that you have of him. Surround yourself with friends and family. Know that you were a wonderful wife and friend for your Hubs.

You handled everything perfectly. Yes, Copa was correct. Your daughter was lashing out to ease her guilty feelings. You know that, but it doesn't stop the hurt feelings.

Please, take care of yourself. Eat and sleep and slowly go through the grieving process. Just be kind to yourself and try to have only supportive people near right now. This healing process takes time and each person walks down this road in their own way.

Leafy, you were and are blessed with a great love. Some people have never experienced this in their life. You gave each other joy. You have these memories forever. Your mind in like a steel trap. You might want to start a journal or a special scrap book of your life journey together. Be kind to yourself and let others pamper and care for you.

My mother's nurse, as my mother was dying, told me that there never is a good time for someone to die.

Life is full of extreme joys and sorrows. You have known both. Know that we are all here for you.

Take care, my dear sister. I wish that I could be there to help you. Know that I am 'there' with you by my thoughts and prayers. May you feel peace and comfort.

 

[Nancy]

I am so sorry for your loss Leafy. Please accept my sincere condolences.

 

[Feeling Sad]

My thoughts are prayers are with you, Leafy. I hope that you are surrounded by family and friends.

I am so sorry that you are going through this loss. Know that you were a special gift to your husband. Your love will continue.