I am so angry I'm shaking inside

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
It seems so silly that I would need to accessorize in order to prove my disability, doesn't it? I mean, doesn't the tag say it simply enough? I guess not.
The point of carrying a cane is that it ties YOU to the TAG.
Your disability may not be "visible" but the cane is.

A young kid (grade 3 maybe?) had a stroke. He could walk fine, but could not be doing regular boy stuff. The only way to get the other boys to not tackle him was for this boy to carry a cane. Even though everybody in the school was explicitly told... the cane was the only thing that helped.
 

Marguerite

Active Member
Jo, think - why do blind people carry a white cane? It's not because they need help walking. Nor is it because they like to look at the lovely white stick. No, it's because the white cane tells everyone else to go easy, this person is blind. The cane is also useful for feeling their way, but if that was all, it could be any colour and design.

Marg
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
You guys are nicer than me. I can see me saying, with a sober face, "Yes, isn't it lucky that my husband is a doctor so I can get these cards whenver I want?"
Then I'd turn and walk away.
I don't need a placard...I am not handicapped...but if it ever happens and if I ever get a snide remark, I think I'll do exactly what I just said. After all, we don't owe busybodies the truth.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
HNR, It is time to watch the British comedy "waiting for God". You will get lessons in proper use of a cane. Apply those to the PT who is such a jerk.

I have several invisible disabilities. My docs insisted that I get a placard and use it. My bones are dissolving painfully, which when added to the arthritis, psoriasis sores, and fibro, hypothyroidism and migraines means I am pretty much SOL in the health dept. I have had a few people challenge me, the worst was a lady at the elem school. She actually STOLE my first tag. I know because I had the number written down in a notebook just in case and saw it in my purse. She wanted it because it is just "so hard" to get into the school with her preschooler from the regular parking spaces. Her child has NO health problems except a mother with an arrest for stealing a placard. One of our dad's is a cop and takes his son to school in the squad car, so when I saw MY placard in HER window, I parked behind her car so she couldn't leave and had the secretary page him. He ran the number of the placard and sure enough, I was right. She had a couple of other warrants so she went bye bye in cuffs and her car went bye bye on a tow truck to the impound lot. Our cops don't play with handicapped parking.

I like Star's letter. I have been judged by many and even been cursed out and followed all over a store with a lady gritching at me. I finally told her to either leave me alone or call the cops and report me for fraud. I also let her know that if she did call the cops and was wrong that I would sue her and own her very fancy car and her very fancy house (knew her by sight from around town and that she is quite wealthy). I told her that I do not have to justify using the placard to ANYONE but my doctor. I fought against getting one but my docs told me it was going to happen and to hoover it up and get on with life. I am glad they did because it makes a difference in how I can get around.

We also get people upset because we have Jess use the motorized carts at the store when we are there. She is just too unsteady on her feet, NOT for lack of trying. Crutches don't help when you are falling because seizures, esp when the docs will give you NO medications even though they SEE the seizures. the neuro saw several in one appointment, even said they were seizures, even saw her fall from one, and still refused to give seizure medications. We have a new family doctor who is working to get us into a new neuro because this is BS.

I tell those people who fuss about J that she was hit by a car 2 times and has bad knee problems. She does. One knee is much larger than the other and nothing seems to help. The ortho docs say it is just going to be a problem fro the rest of her life, which makes me angry. One said he could clearly see impact from 2 different accidents, even though the ER doctor said she made up the accident (grrrrr). Anyway, other than Star's letter, do NOT let that PT fool take away your LEGAL RIGHT to use that space whenever you are there and choose to use it.

If the building mgr says anything, tell him that it is your LEGAL RIGHT to use that space/placard and anything he does to interfere with that is a violation of your rights and you would be happy to have him speak to your atty - and pay the fees for both his and your attorneys for his specious claims.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
I thought the point of carrying the cane was to whack the ignorant like BUFORD T. PUSSER. Now THAT man knew what to do with a stick.
 

Marguerite

Active Member
I find the stick useful in so many ways. Shopping trolleys - I angle the stick diagonally across the trolley so the tip is on the front opposite corner to the handle. Then when pushing the trolley, a push on the stick moves the front corner of the trolley far more easily.

Using ATMs - nobody messes with a woman carrying a metre of aluminium tube!

Misbehaving kids - my kids would get a tap on the legs, it only needed to be a nudge. They knew I could hit a lot harder but chose not to. It kept them in line.

Tailgating truckers - I also have a powerful voice, but using the voice plus brandishing the stick at a trucker who had been tailgating me in thick city traffic worked very effectively. I thoroughly embarrassed the guy, he was being publicly chastised by a cripple with a walking stick! My car was tiny, his truck was big. He had perhaps thought it funny to try to intimidate me. It backfired on him very publicly, and he had to endure the grins of all the other drivers. Thick traffic means you're stuck in the same lanes with the same cars all around you, for the next half hour or more. They had all heard and seen me (I piled out of my car at the traffic lights and made a loud scene, then got back in before the lights changed).

Opening doors/propping doors open - I use my stick to hold doors open for people, or even for myself. I jam the ferrule of the stick close to the door hinge (if it's not too strong a door) or the edge of the door if it's a heavier door. It holds the door open while I walk through (leaning on the stick but not needing to move it) or while I stand to one side and wait for others to walk through.

Leg rest/foot rest - when sitting for any length of time, I put the stick in front of me a little, then rest my legs on it. Much more comfortable.

Security - in a supermarket mall when eating lunch or having coffee, I put the stick through the straps of my bag. Any bag-snatcher will find himself suddenly tangled in a metre of aluminium, with a very angry woman attached via the arm cuff. Funny, nobody has ever tried to snatch my bag.

I could go on.

What I am trying to say here - whether you need to lean on a stick all the time is immaterial. A stick has many uses. And needing to lean on it some of the time is enough. Crowded places - a stick is safer, it gives you more stability. People tend to be more careful about jostling you. But the most important - it gives you credibility. You shouldn't need it, but there are idiots. Plus, a stick has more uses than you can realise.

Marg
 
H

HaoZi

Guest
I thought the point of carrying the cane was to whack the ignorant like BUFORD T. PUSSER. Now THAT man knew what to do with a stick.

No clue who he is, but I recall Teddy Roosevelt saying something about speaking softly and carrying a big stick.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
What Marg has said is similar to what Diana in "Waiting for God" uses her cane for. When I am elderly I hope to be a combination of Diana from that show and Eloise from the book about the girl who lives in the Plaza Hotel!
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
Since I am not at the office this week, and the landlord promised to find a solution, I am curious what I will return to. If the landlord doesn't take care of this issue, I will: by delivering the letter and perhaps by using a cane. I have to say that when I arrive at my office in the morning, my hands and arms ares full so I have no idea how I will be able to carry the cane. However, as I said earlier, I do have my moms three pronged cane that I can use as a prop in the back seat- that may do it! Thanks for sharing with me all your ideas and tips and stories! Very valuable!
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
Hearts--

I'm so sorry you had to experience that. I don't blame you for being angry!

Here's what I would do.

Go and see the PT....and when you do put on your biggest smile and go say to him "I just wanted to say thank you!" and when he looks confused tell him that you overheard that he felt you were in such good shape and you just wanted to thank him so much. "Cause some days it is such a struggle just to get to work and it makes me feel good to know that you think I am doing even better than the people you are treating! Wow!"

If you can say it just right, it tells him that you DO have some sort of disability while at the same time insulting his skills as a therapist. (That last part is just for fun!)
 
H

HaoZi

Guest
Have you considered getting one of those fold up rolling cart things to carry your stuff? I think you could drag that along one-handed and use the cane, too.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
If you want to pull some one-upmanship... use my Mom's trick...

She had the placcard (and needed it) but didn't need a cane or a wheel chair... but got LOTS of hassle.
So... she picked up a used wheelchair at a garage sale or some such... quite battered on the upholstery but mechanically sound...
NOTE - the upholstery problem was a deliberate choice...

Then, she'd load up whatever she had to carry from the car into the wheelchair, and use it to take her stuff inside.

She really got some looks... but nobody ever gave her hassles!
 

Marguerite

Active Member
Have you considered getting one of those fold up rolling cart things to carry your stuff? I think you could drag that along one-handed and use the cane, too.

Good idea. I have been having a lot of trouble carrying my handbag, my computer bag and other stuff. So I've started using a wheeled suitcase, the sort you might take away for a naughty weekend. Especially when difficult child 3 is in at school (like today) I use the wheelie overnight bag to carry my laptop computer, my papers, my coffee and book. I can wheel with one hand and use my stick in the other. I'm currently doing so well that I can do better walking, and I have found that when I lock the handles up in pulling position, I can also stop and lean on the case handles if I need to, like I lean on my stick. So for short distances in public, I am doing more without my stick.

You find what works for you. Everyone is different.

Marg
 
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