I did good!!!!

[KFld]

Went over and signed the papers, then he says very non chalantly, oh I wanted to tell you before anyone else did, and because I know your'e going to counseling tonight, I'm in a new relationship.

I looked at him and said, wow you don't waste anytime. He didn't reply. I then said, does he know this is atleast your 3rd relationship in less then two months, and he put his head down like he was ashamed and said, yeah!! Pleeeeeese!!!

by the way if I dissapear, easy child walked in.

I said it's at least 3 and who knows, maybe you even hooked up with that girl who gave you the awesome __________ 5 or 6 years ago when I was in Maryland. He had the nerve to say, who told you that Joe?? I said, nope didn't hear it from Joe, but it really doesn't matter who I heard from, if it happened it happened. The look on his face was priceless. He didn't dare try and deny it.

Then I said you need to stop concentrating on what I wasn't doing for you and start concentrating on what you did to me.
Then I walked out.

The counselor said I did awesome.

got to run easy child is home. check in again later.

 

[busywend]

You did VERY good!!!

I can feel the relief lifted from your shoulders!

:bravo: :dance:

 

[donna723]

:bravo: :bravo: :bravo:

:its_all_good:

 

[PonyGirl]

:flower: :warrior: :dance: :thumb:
<span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'><span style='font-size: 12'>Nicely done, Karen!</span> </span> I'm sure he's having a much worse night right now than you are. What a Cad. He actually thought he was doing you a favor by telling you, that's what's so truly sad. In his mind, he truly thought he was actually doing something good, telling you he's in another relationship.

You're absolutely right in telling him he needs to look at his actions.

He's so backwards, he doesn't even realize the fact that he's IN another relationship <span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'><span style='font-size: 12'>IS </span></span>the problem! He's just patting himself on the back for TELLING you about it. I'm sorry. What a dink.
:grrr:

But anyway........<span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'><span style='font-size: 12'>YEA YOU!!</span></span> :bravo:

 

[guest3]

&lt;&lt;&lt;&lt;HUGS&gt;&gt;&gt; I am soooo proud of you!!!!!!! :smile: :fan:

 

[Marguerite]

Way To Go!! Absolute priceless!

The counsellor is right, you DID do awesome!

Of course, he will only be feeling bad for a few moments, he will then go and dump on someone else about how you are spying on him or gossiping about him or whatever else he can think.

Whenever you're wondering what he will do/say next ABOUT YOU, be prepared for it to come from his own need to justify his own actions - he will be accusing you of what he himself is doing. Because if you're doing it too, then his actions are perfectly acceptable.

Hang in there.

Marg

 

[Hound dog]

:fan: :bravo: :fan:

You couldn't have done better if you had rehersed it!

:smile:

 

[KFld]

Can't talk much now, but still feeling good. easy child and I had a good night together hangin out and watching t.v.

:smile:

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Good for you!!!!

Beth

 

[KFld]

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Once I walked out that door last night and headed for counseling I was able to calm down pretty quickly.

It's amazing how relaxed and happy I was last night afterwards. I think the combination of knocking him down a peg and actually standing up for myself just made me feel really good. I never gave it a second thought last night. easy child and I watched t.v., went on the computer and just spent some girls time hanging out. I slept really good too, except for my habit of wakeing up at 4:30 every morning lately and not being able to go back to sleep. I give it until about 5:30 and then say the heck with it and come down and spend some time with you guys before I get ready for work.

What really amazed me was that he made a point of telling me that he knew I was going to see Susan last night so he knew it was a good time because I would need to talk to her afterwards.

I guess he thought the news was going to make me crumbe to my knees. What he doesn't realize is having an affair while I watched my mother dyeing hurt more then anything he could have ever done. Kind of takes his ability to hurt me anymore away.

He called BFF Jill of course right away and accused her of telling me about him cheating 5 or 6 years ago and her reply to him was, you can think whatever you want, but I have always told you that if she asks me something straight out, I will never lie to her. Of course instead of being concerned that I know he cheated on me before, his main concern was who told me. He then told her, through his teary voice, that it kills him to be hurting me like this and she told him, she's not hurt she's and she told him after what he did to me when my mother was sick, nothing he can do after that hurts me it's just makes me angrier. Then she told him she's really uncomfortable talking to him, and I told her even if he calls, I don't want to hear anything anymore.

I Know what you are all going to ask next? Jill new about 5 or 6 years ago and didn't tell you. Yes she knew and she tried to tell me. This was around the same time we were going for marriage counseling the first time and I guess I either didn't want to hear it, or believe it could be true. She never told me the entire story because I didn't want to hear it.I only allowed her to tell me that something happened that I needed to keep my eyes and ears open and be aware that I could not trust him and to be very careful when I go away. The neighbors used to tease and call him bachelor Dave when I went away and basically she told me that nickname meant a little bit more that time when I went away. I guess I felt at the time that we were trying to work on our marriage and what he did when things weren't going well needed to be put behind us and we needed to move forward. I guess I didn't realize it it would surface to be something I should have taken a little more serious because patterns would repeat themselves. Another mistakes I have learned from.

And the funniest thing he said to her was, I didn't even get a chance to tell her it was over before she walked out the door :rofl: Jill just laughed and said, I think she gets it. It was over long before he even thought it was his choice to call it.


Nothing he does from here on out can change my mind. It's over. I'm working on myself to become a much stronger person and make sure I never allow anybody to ever do this to me again. Notice I said never allow. Another huge thing I'm learning in counseling that nobody can ever make you feel anything unless you allow it. That is a huge thing I do that I need to as she put, own it and fix it!!! Nobody can use me if I don't allow them too. Nobody can abuse me if I don't allow them too. Nobody can make me feel guilty unless I allow them too. I have a lot of work ahead of me don't I? :smile:


TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE

 

[busywend]

Wahoo!!!

You sound pumped up!

:dance:

 

[Lothlorien]

Good for you! I'm glad you got it off your chest. You definitely seem in control of the course of things.

 

[JJJ]

Way to go! Your warrior mom skills are coming in handy!

 

[trinityroyal]

Wow! You handled the whole situation with grace and dignity. Congratulations for standing up for yourself and speaking your mind.

Awesome.

All the best,
Trinity

 

[hearts and roses]

:bravo: Bravo! You did awesome and the best part is that it wasn't a forced reaction - it came from the strength within you. How great is that?? I am so proud and happy for you! :bravo:

Someone above said something about him telling you about this as being a nice thing. in my opinion, it was just another act of selfishness. He was appeasing his own guilt and shame by telling you. I don't think his motives for telling you had anything to do with making it easier on you.

But that's all over now and you probably already know that. You are on to bigger and better things in this life of yours!! Congrats! :dance:

 

[Sunlight]

Karen, you will not be over Dave until he stops being a part of your thought and conversation. Tell Jill that too.
I am sorry he hurt you and I am glad you were able to express that to him.
Janet

 

[DDD]

I'm happy that you are happy! DDD

 

[nvts]

Well done! Bravo!

Handled with true class, style, grace and confidence!

You should be so proud!

When and if you ever feel ANY doubt, concentrate on the look on his face! Geez, what I would have paid to be a fly on the wall!!

I feel honored to be aware of your new birthday, considering this is the first day of the rest o' your life!

Wonderbar!

Beth

 

[susiestar]

This is a great step to have taken. And you took it with grace and dignity!!!!!!!!!!

So PROUD!! Soon he will be nothin but dust in your history book!

Susie

 

[KFld]

Hey, what a good idea. Today could be like my 2nd birthday. Would that make me a born again something????