difficult child has not been doing well at all. Raging and melting down several times a day and at the drop of a hat. I'm always so optimistic that things are going to get better for difficult child sooner than they have been. When, in fact, they are getting worse. I finally realized Sunday that I couldn't do both working and taking care of difficult child. When I'm at work I'm worried about home, and when I'm home with difficult child I'm worried about work. I was out all of last week and 3 days this week with difficult child. I was so stressed that every muscle in my body was tensed to the point that my teeth were chattering and every part of my body hurt. My doctor finally called in a muscle relaxer for me. It's not fair to difficult child, it's not fair to easy child, it's not fair to my co-workers, it's not fair to my clients, and it's not fair to me to be pulled in so many directions. difficult child requires so much from me right now and I need to be able to focus on my family. So on Thursday I gave notice at work. My last day is April 30. I plan on doing in-home daycare to make ends meet. easy child hates the idea, but I don't seem to be able to do anything lately to make him happy anyway. I hope that when we get settled into our new routine, his opinion will change. difficult child, on the other hand, absolutely loves the idea. Although, she now really, really wants to be homeschooled so she can "help me" (her words) take care of the short ones. I'm absolutely terrified. I won't have a reliable paycheck. What if I can't make ends meet? What if I'm just trading one problem for another? What if I just create more problems? But, I'm also excited. I love little ones. I really think I will enjoy myself and I know it will give difficult child peace of mind to know I'm home during the day, even though she'll be at school. I also know that they really like me at work, so if things change and they have a position they will rehire me. My boss said he was sorry to lose me and asked me if there was any other work I could do that wasn't so deadline driven so it wouldn't matter if I was out (there really isn't enough of that to keep me busy). He also said if things change between now and April 30 to let him know. Ladies, please keep your fingers crossed for me...rattle beads...think good thoughts.