I have a 7yr old girl and the defiance and personality switches are being too much!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by richmanlopez, May 19, 2013.

  1. richmanlopez

    richmanlopez New Member

    Hello Friends,

    I have a kid from age 10months started hitting people and not going with the flow. She is so intelligent and very aware but does not behave appropriately. She has no friends. It is as if she does not read socials cues and does not pay attention to people's personal space. She is definately not liked in school. She interrupts people and never ever listens to me. She is over the top fussy and gets agitated. Does well academically but could not be more defiant and opposition. She even resists normal personal hygiene care. I am a single mother with limited finances and am in pain due to the arguments we have day and night. We are always arguing and she spits and sticks her touque out or physically hurts me. She grunts and whines all the time. Meltdowns are regular. She even hits herself at times due to angry. She is so angry.This has really taken its toll on me and I do not know how to resolve the issue. We have tried prozac, paxil, risperdone, geoden, tenex, focalin, tratera, vyvanse, seraquel, and ritilan. Ritilian seems to only tackle the inattentiveness. I have gone to so many does that do not seem to be to in to us. The last one was quick to say she has inattentiveness and mood disorder and would like her on maybe depokete or lithum in addition to ritalin.

    I feel so sad and hopeless with my kid. I can't make friends either due to her outrageous behavior. People think it is a reflection on me and my bad parenting skills.

    Please share your thoughts or experience on Abilify or Depokete or Lithium.

    I am going to try abilify before going on to the other choices.

    *Can't wait to hear from you.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Do you have a mental health center near you? Is she on Medicaid?

    My best suggestion is to get her a neuropsychologist evaluation. I do not believe she is being defiant just because she likes to see you upset. I feel she is wired differently and needs an intensive evaluation. If you have Medicaid, she can see a neuropsychologist at a university hospital. They do take Medicaid. It would really be worth it. You can't help her if you aren't sure what is going on, but being "bad"...I think it's more like she is frustrated. Is he pediatrician trying to treat her because, really, they aren't taught much about childhood disorders and usually aren't sure what they are or what to do. Good heavens, for a seven year old he has been on more medications than many mentally ill adults! I would do more research before I allowed this doctor to medicate him to that degree. Doesn't sound like they even help.

    I don't know who is treating her, but in my opinion medications alone aren't going to do it for her.

    My son was misdiagnosed as bipolar and put on Lithium and Depakote and I would never again, in hindsight, give such potent drugs to such a young child (he was nine). He didn't need them anyway because he is not bipolar. Be sure what you are medicating before you let them treat your child like a guinia pig. He is a very very young boy. Some people may disagree with me, but I would say a big "no" to those medications unless the doctor could come up with a great reason why he wants him on them. Both gave my son a lot of bad side effects.

    Welcome to the board but so sorry you had to join us. We will do our best to make helpful suggestions. Mine is to get an evaluation and stop going to so many different doctors who seem to be guessing but pulling out the prescription pad. I went through this myself and am sorry I did it so you are not alone and your parenting did NOT cause this.
  3. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    Sounds familiar. Welcome aboard.
  4. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    In our state. our girls had a type of medicaid, and although there was a neuropsychologist listed as an approved physician, and we got one consult, the insurance comepany denied any of the testing the doctor wanted to do. We jumped thru hoops, had the school do some testing that ins wanted first, sent all records, made phone calls and the physicians office made calls and wrote letters. We never did get the testing done.

    But, we switched insurance in January and the testing is to be done in two weeks! Can't wait. I hope you get the answers you need. It seems that so many doctors just want to try drugs... which has not worked for us, but we only tried three. Good luck! KSM
  5. richmanlopez

    richmanlopez New Member

    Thank you for your help.

    *We do have medical insurance and her testing was so unspecific. Now I am told to stop paying attention to thinking about the diagnosis and to concentrate on treating the symptoms. Round and round we go.
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I'd find another diagnostician. You won't get t he help you need in school or in the community without a diagnosis. Seems like this person is just trying to use medication. I'd get another opinion.

    Sounds like she could be on the spectrum, but she has to be evaluated. Again, I prefer neuropsychs. many of us do.