It's not the first time I've run into this problem. People who run businesses that provide professional services obviously want the people they hire to be professional. No brainer. But they get to the point of being concerned where you live, what you look like when you run to wally-world on Sat. morning because you ran out of something you need right away, etc. So you get pressured to present a certain image and have a certain lifestyle, live in certain neighborhoods, etc. Of course we all would do better if they paid us better so we could but they don't look at it that way.
Then, on the other hand, you get the juvie judges who don't care where you live as long as you pay the CS. Fine, too. Except that if I do everything the court people want me to do, I won't keep the job. (See expectations above.) Both can't be done. Sorry. And that's exactly how I ended up being unemployed.
And then, again, I'm hearing from people ITRW that I shouldn't be worried about what will happen when difficult child gets released next year. To a certain exrtent I can see that- it's not like I sitting here crying over it. But I can't be in denial about what I need to be prepared for and I have no idea how to make that work out.
But right now- one day at a time is my matra. And remembering what Dr P said- when a parent realizes that their efforts aren't resulting in the kid getting better, it is pointless to let your life go down the tubes to keep trying, save yourself and try a different angle. Sometimes the very fact that the parent does this can help the kid.
I'm so glad though to be out of that jurisdiction. You can't believe what a load it takes off my back. I had to sign that I'd accept difficult child coming home to me with PO today in order for him to be able to transfer difficult child's case. I did that but then I guess the parole plan will be decided by the PO here. Otherwise, if I hadn't signed, it would have gone to court in that original jurisdiction for placement to be determined. Stupid or not, I couldn't and wouldn't risk that because the odds are that difficult child would have ended up at my bro's and feeling that I had abandoned him on top of it. In my mind, if he would be well over 17yo when he's released I might have handled things differently. But I will not ever abandon my son and really don't understand why that jurisdiction has to handle things in such a way that it goes from one extreme to another- I really just want transitional services for my son and us and a temp placement for him to gradually be allowed to live at home again. But who am I.
Anyway, I will be going on with my life now and as Dr P said, sometimes that is the best thing you can do not only for yourself but for your difficult child. I'll do what I can to make this job work out but I sure can't take financial risks for it. It's a fine line right now as I get to know this guy and he gets to know me. Hopefully things will smooth out a bit as he sees that I am professional at work, didn't misrepresent myself, etc. If he thinks this move was too much drama though, it's sure a good thing I didn't tell him any more info. The drama of this move is nothing compared to facing homelessness, going thru difficult child issues, etc. And yeah, I arrived here looking like koi (he didn't see me) because I worked my **** off this week to get here. I'll let this go- this is the kind of stuff I need to just let go of by relaxing, transitioning to looking forward, getting back in a frame of mind of having a life of my own, being in the work force, etc- which is exactly why I thought a few days in a hotel would do me good!