I may have opened a bag of worms....

[everywoman]

My father was the original difficult child---God rest his soul. He died at age 57. He married my mother at 17. They divorced when I was 5--That would make him 22. He married 3 more times. The 2nd one I remember very little about. The 3rd. had 3 daughters. He was married to K for 13 years. I never liked her, but I did like the girls. They divorced when I was 22. PCson was a catalyst because K was jealous of my gfgdad's realtionship with him. difficult child dad was so excited about being a grandfather and when she wasn'Tourette's Syndrome accepting...he left. After they divorce i lost touch with the girls. GFGdad married again to the wicked witch of the south. Anyway, yesterday I was playing on the computer and found one of my (former) step-sisters. I emailed her a short message and today I got a LONG response. She was excited to hear from me and had called her sisters and she said they were excited too. She sent pictures of them all and their families. Since my father and grandparents are dead I have had a loss of a sense of family...but, I'm not sure now about re-stablishing relationships with the history that our parents had...She did have nice things to say about my gfgdad...which isn't surprising...he always was better at raising other people's children.

 

[Hound dog]

You can always take the getting reaquainted part slowly. But if you all got along well as kids, odds are you probably still will.

You've braver than I am. I've thought about doing the same thing with my Mom's 3rd husband's 2 boys. They were married only 2 yrs but I got awfully close to the boys in that time. They were in preschool and I was a teen, I watched and cared for them more than my Mom did.

The youngest was a major difficult child. A sweet kid but no one could put their finger on what was wrong. Now as an adult I know he was undiagnosed cerebral palsy, pretty certain of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).

I'd love to know how the boys are doing now. But just am a bit afraid they probably don't even remember me. They were 6 and 8 when Mom divorced their Dad. So I haven't made any moves for contact although I've found their emails.

 

[busywend]

It is encouraging that they are excited to hear from you! I say go for it!

 

[Stella Johnson]

I would take it slow. Email eachother for a while and see where it goes. HOw far away do they live from you?
Doesn't sound like there are any old grudges or anything coming up so it sounds pretty promising.

Steph

 

[Marguerite]

If you go in with no expectations you won't be disappointed. I agree to take it slowly, get reacquainted online. Also be very careful - whatever you write online is just as permanent as any letter sent snail mail. Be politely discreet, especially about your feelings for their mother.

And if after all that you meet, and find you just can't get along - well, at least you know. And if, by chance it works out - what a bonus!

These girls are adults now, they can make up their own minds. But they may be misinformed about some past events - or you may be. Go carefully here, too. Be prepared to ignore past conflicts in information and just enjoy the contact.

Marg