I NEED to kill you

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jan 7, 2008.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    and with that Kanga sealed her own fate. Kanga was mad that I was coming for the family session instead of husband. The social worker told her that husband likely had to work but I would be there. SW and I spoke before we brought Kanga into the room and I clarified that husband is less of a limit setter than I am and Kanga is able to manipulate him more. SW said that is the impression she had gotten from Kanga.

    Kanga got increasingly agitated during the session. She wouldn't look at me. At one point she started on her "everything is my brother's fault" and I told her that she needed to take responsibility for her actions. At that point she growled, "That is why I NEED to kill you and Tigger."

    The family session was ended at that point and Kanga was told it was over because she was just talking in circles and not willing to work on the issues.

    The staffing was held about 30 minutes later and the psychiatrist (who she had been snowing) said this child can not go home. What is plan B? I explained that we were working on a funding grant for Residential Treatment Center (RTC). He said great, we are in this for the long haul and changed her 'goal' to treatment pending Residential Treatment Center (RTC) placement!!! She will likely stay at the current hospital for another 2 weeks and then they are going to transfer her to a medical hospital for a full neurological work-up as they suspect Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and organic brain damage.

    We are safe...at least for the next little while.
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    I'm glad everyone is safe. Is there anyone helping you find funding sources?
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    OH GOSH KID - MAJOR, MAJOR hugs - Bittersweet to say the least

    I don't really know whether to tell you that I'm so sorry that this happened to your little girl and you. OR to say a silent thank you to heaven because I know now that you and the rest of the family can sleep at night and be safe.

    There just is no easy way is there? Keep your chin up - cry when you need to, punch a pillow - and know we're here for you.

    J3 - I'm so sorry for your hurting heart.
  4. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    JJJ, {{{HUGS}}}- I'm sorry this happened but am glad everyone is safe. There is clearly a difference between a threat blurted out in rage that the difficult child forgets they said 30 mins. later (even if others remember) and harboring thoughts of needing to kill someone. She clearly needs some help and you are right to support her placement where everyone can be safe.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What a mixed blessing. I will remember you and your family in my thoughts and prayers this evening. DDD
  6. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    TM - There is a grant available to children in our state that suffer from severe mental illness with impaired reality. Kanga meets all the criteria but the application is very complex (est. 100 pages when complete). The entire team is now on board in getting this application complete (while the parent is the leader in submitting the application it requires a bunch of reports from psychiatrists and tdocs and a whole list of tests that have now been ordered). I gave her therapist my draft of the parent report section (22 pages long). I have also been assigned a family coordinator that will meet with me as often as I need to ensure that the report is in the required format.

    Star - Bittersweet is right. Although I am much more relieved then hurt. Eeyore (who doesn't know what she said, just that she is staying longer) said maybe I should find the adoption papers and tear them up :frown:
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am sorry it escalated to her saying that, but I am glad she is not coming home. What is Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)?
  8. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I am sorry for you and the entire family. At least she is in a safe environment right now and they have witnessed the threats..Sending hugs
  9. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) = Traumatic Brain Injury

    JJJ, I'm sorry Kanga is so ill and hope she gets the help she desperately needs. And I'm sorry for all you and the rest of your family are going through. It must be a very scary and stressful time for you all.
  10. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    There are no words. I am so sorry. HUGS
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm am so sorry for your hurting Mommy heart.

    But I am glad that psychiatrist is no longer being snowed and you all are safe.

    Keeping you in my prayers

  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry but am glad she won't be coming home right now. Many, many gentle hugs.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Bittersweet, indeed.
    I can't recall ... what was the brain damage from? medications or injury? Is she adopted?
    Sorry I'm so forgetful.

    And mostly, sorry for all of you, but I'm glad she's going to get some help.
  14. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    No words, JJJ. Just hugs.
  15. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Thanks all. The suspected brain injury was likely caused by in-utero exposure to drugs/alcohol, abuse by birthparents ages 0-2, and an accident in a foster home where a tv fell on her when she was 2.5 years old.

    She called tonight and 'apologized' for her behavior but still blamed it on anything except herself. I think I am going to take a few days away from talking to her. I'm too mad, I need to calm down so I don't say something I may regret.
  16. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Looking back at your recent ring-around-the-rosie with the school district, I'd sure like to smack them around. What were they thinking with this poor kid?

    Bittersweet. No other word. A blessing for your families safety; gentle hugs for your mommy heart; continued prayers for Kanga's recovery.
  17. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Oh, the psychiatrist also said it looked like possible temporal lobe complex partial seizures!

    Yes, the school district are dopes. They didn't believe me and now she is likely done with them as, assuming we get the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) funding, she will likely not return to the grade school district as she should be in at least 9th grade by then.

    (But, per Sue (slsh), they get billed for the educational component of her Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stay!)
  18. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    I am so sorry (((HUGS))) but I am glad that her true colors finally came out for them to see. Glad to hear that you and your family are safe.
  19. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I am sorry but glad she did it where they could see and that now they are taking it seriously.
  20. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Sending hugs. I am so glad you and your family is safe. Hopefully the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) stuff won't take too long.