Iamwipedouttoo
New Member
I just recently posted here about my 17 year old daughter (see sig below). She's making me crazy.
She's had a driver's permit for over a year now. My husband refuses to drive with her so I've been teaching her. Every time we get in the car and have to intervene by asking her to do something other than what she is doing (like, hey keep an eye on this car traveling too fast before you pull out into traffic, etc.) she gets really mad at me. I've tried keeping quiet but after two near miss traffic accidents and one rear ending (to us because she had to stop short) I'm a little concerned with her ability to pay attention to what is going on to keep her and anyone else in the car out of harms way.
Well, despite all that, I have continued to work on letting her drive as much as possible. Then this happens...
Two Fridays ago I picked my daugher up from her job. She drives home and asks me if her boyfriend could stop by. It was 11:10, her curfew is 11:30. When I told her that was fine but he would have to leave when she had to come in she goes into a rage while driving, scaring me. She started screaming and waving one hand around yelling about that would only be 15 minutes and they were trying to work things out and I was ruining it and calling me every name in the book.
I was proud of myself for remaining calm during all of this. I kept telling her quietly that he was allowed to come over, he just needed to leave when she had to come in, etc. Well, she didn't calm down and I was really frightened to be in the car with her so I decided then and there that she would not be driving my car until I knew for sure she could control herself.
That was a week and a half ago. She has actually been very good about not asking to drive, more than typical for her and has been making an effort to control herself other times, though she still goes into rages pretty much every time when things don't go her way (well be working on house rules this weekend AGAIN).
Well, she asked me if she could drive to work today as we were coming out the door and because I'm still scared to drive with her I told her no, not today. She was mad, of course, so I had to deal with faces and mumbling under her breath the ride there but it was better than the all out warfare I usually get to experience...unfortunately she made her point when we arrived at her work when she slammed my car door when she closed it.
I am looking for suggestions on how to handle this. This child needs to learn to drive and I want her to drive but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to come up with a plan for her to work toward earning the privilege of driving back when she can't control her anger. Some of her anger IS because she does not have her driver's license yet due to her attitude like mentioned above.
Is me allowing her to drive when she hasn't proven she can control herself me giving in to her, enabling her, or is it trying to help her by working toward something she wants? Should I make her driving conditional?
I just don't have a clue anymore and maybe some of you have experience with this and can clue me in to what may work and what may not. I'm at a loss. I don't want to be in a car with her anymore and quite frankly I'm getting so tired of driving her around because inevitably she come up with something to try to argue with me about.
She's had a driver's permit for over a year now. My husband refuses to drive with her so I've been teaching her. Every time we get in the car and have to intervene by asking her to do something other than what she is doing (like, hey keep an eye on this car traveling too fast before you pull out into traffic, etc.) she gets really mad at me. I've tried keeping quiet but after two near miss traffic accidents and one rear ending (to us because she had to stop short) I'm a little concerned with her ability to pay attention to what is going on to keep her and anyone else in the car out of harms way.
Well, despite all that, I have continued to work on letting her drive as much as possible. Then this happens...
Two Fridays ago I picked my daugher up from her job. She drives home and asks me if her boyfriend could stop by. It was 11:10, her curfew is 11:30. When I told her that was fine but he would have to leave when she had to come in she goes into a rage while driving, scaring me. She started screaming and waving one hand around yelling about that would only be 15 minutes and they were trying to work things out and I was ruining it and calling me every name in the book.
I was proud of myself for remaining calm during all of this. I kept telling her quietly that he was allowed to come over, he just needed to leave when she had to come in, etc. Well, she didn't calm down and I was really frightened to be in the car with her so I decided then and there that she would not be driving my car until I knew for sure she could control herself.
That was a week and a half ago. She has actually been very good about not asking to drive, more than typical for her and has been making an effort to control herself other times, though she still goes into rages pretty much every time when things don't go her way (well be working on house rules this weekend AGAIN).
Well, she asked me if she could drive to work today as we were coming out the door and because I'm still scared to drive with her I told her no, not today. She was mad, of course, so I had to deal with faces and mumbling under her breath the ride there but it was better than the all out warfare I usually get to experience...unfortunately she made her point when we arrived at her work when she slammed my car door when she closed it.
I am looking for suggestions on how to handle this. This child needs to learn to drive and I want her to drive but I cannot for the life of me figure out how to come up with a plan for her to work toward earning the privilege of driving back when she can't control her anger. Some of her anger IS because she does not have her driver's license yet due to her attitude like mentioned above.
Is me allowing her to drive when she hasn't proven she can control herself me giving in to her, enabling her, or is it trying to help her by working toward something she wants? Should I make her driving conditional?
I just don't have a clue anymore and maybe some of you have experience with this and can clue me in to what may work and what may not. I'm at a loss. I don't want to be in a car with her anymore and quite frankly I'm getting so tired of driving her around because inevitably she come up with something to try to argue with me about.