I quit

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterby, Feb 11, 2010.

  1. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Yep. That's it. I'm done. I'm resigning. From everything.

    I posted on General about my anxiety stress level and difficult child (Past my limit thread).

    Today I had an evaluation appointment for my SSDI claim. I knew about. I've been telling everyone it was at 11:00am.

    I get there and finally find the place. The building isn't numbered and outside is a sign that reads, "Internal Medicine", and I was seeing a psychologist. So, I was 5 minutes late. I go to the office and the door is locked. There are chairs out in the hall, so I thought maybe he was with a patient. I sit down and wait. I peek under the door and I don't see any light. So, I knock. Nothing. I'm thinking maybe I'm at the wrong place or he left because I was late.

    Oh no. No, no, no. Can't be that easy. I called and woke difficult child and asked her to look at the letter and give me the name of the doctor. I was at the right place. And I said, it says the appointments today right? At 11:00? She said, "What? It was at 8:45am."

    OMfreakingG. If I miss the appointment it's pretty much an automatic denial.

    My anxiety was already sky high before I got there. So I get home and immediately call the claims adjuster chick at SS and leave a message explaining what happened. And then take a klonopin.

    She calls me a bit later and is snarky as hell. "I don't understand how you got the time wrong when I called you on Monday and spelled it out for you."

    Me: "When you called, I had just woken up. Nothing gets through to me."
    Her: "Well, you could have asked me to hold on so you could get your bearings."
    Me: "It takes an hour to get my bearings, at least, after I wake up."
    Her: "Well, we can reschedule it one time. You'll get a letter in the mail. But it is YOUR responsibility to get there. I did call you and let you know."
    Me: "This is one of the reasons I'm filing for disability, you know."

    ARGH!!!!! No, I wasn't exactly nice. But, she wasn't either and honest to God I cannot take one more person being snarky or demanding or anything. I hung up the phone and burst into tears. I didn't do it on purpose. I had it in my head for 2 WEEKS that the appointment was at 11:00am. It didn't matter that I had the letter that said another time. I had it in my head. I really do hope that she is never sick and never has to experience what it's like to live like this and how humiliating and degrading it is on an almost daily basis.

    Before that messed up appointment, the psychiatrists office called and they had a cancellation today. They were very nice...said they knew I was in a hurry to get difficult child seen and wanted to offer it to me. So, I took it. It was at 3:00pm. I couldn't get in to see my doctor like I wanted to because my doctor only had 2:30 and 3:00 available, but I've been feeling like I have been for a while. It's not going anywhere and I can live with it until Monday.

    So, easy child's DF goes with me to the appointment. Driving - which used to be my freedom - is now difficult for me. Especially when I'm driving outside of my comfort zone, i.e., places I have traveled a lot within the last few years. I understood that the first appointment was just me and then we would schedule for difficult child to be seen.

    I get there. It's around 45 minutes away. I fill out this mountain of paperwork and the tech comes out to take difficult child's blood pressure. Except, difficult child isn't there. Apparently, she was supposed to be there. Sigh.... There is this big fuss in front of a waiting room FULL of people. I was humiliated. But, they said that psychiatrist would see just me. Then psychiatrist said that I needed to bring difficult child back today or they couldn't bill. Which was fine. I really wanted difficult child to be seen. They wanted me to have her back at 5:30pm.

    I mentioned this was outside of my comfort zone. I leave the appointment at 3:30 and I go to 71N. Which is where I'm supposed to go and then get on 315N. Except that I originally was going to go to my mom's first, so I had 71N stuck in my head all the way.

    Where you get on 71 right there, it splits into 3 highways. I got into the lane for 71N. Instead of the lane for 315N. Ok, no big deal. I can get home on 71, it is just a bit longer.

    Then 71 and 70E split. I'm watching the signs so that I'm in the correct lane and still somehow managed to miss the split and end up on 70E. I have no idea where I am at this point, nor does DF, and am trying to figure out how I'm going to get turned around. I can't think at this point. I then see a sign for 670E towards the airport and know that I can take that and then get on 270 because that interchange is near the airport. I then get on 270, take it around to 71, etc, etc, etc.

    What should have been a straight shot north, ended up being north, east, north, and then back west. It took an hour and 20 minutes to get home. And before we even left for the first psychiatrist appointment, I had to stop at easy child's work and get my debit card because I was going to need gas and he had my freaking card. My gas light went on right as I got to my exit. Thankfully, there are gas stations there. I get out and step in black slush that is 6 inches deep. Great. Get back in the car and my hands reek of gas. Even better.


    We get home, pee and immediately leave to take difficult child back and end up being 10 minutes late because of all of this. Where we should have had time to catch a quick bite to eat.

    psychiatrist sees difficult child without me for all of 10 minutes, at most, and comes out with prescriptions. Without me being back there. And I don't like what she prescribed, but I'm just the mom. (see post on General - psychiatrist appointment).

    My back is screaming, my shoulder is swollen and I have nerve pain running down my arm, my head is thumping, and my bursitis is going to flare like an SOB come tomorrow. All from driving.

    I quit. I'm done.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Once again that old McDonald's song is playing in my mind for you, "You deserve a break today."

    I'm sorry it was such a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

    :flower: Many gentle hugs.
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. I am sending you some cyber calgon, and hope it takes you away to somewhere nice.

    The disability system is not user friendly, not a good thing when they are trying to serve the disabled. I am going to call a national law firm to see if they will take husband's case and try for disability for him again. It is a fiasco.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Thanks for suddenly making me feel better about my day...lol

    Sending hugs...
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I know you were already having a horrid day. So please don't think I'm picking on you, dear. Cuz honestly I'm not. You were already more than rattled when it came to psychiatrist and difficult child.

    But I would never, repeat never, let a psychiatrist see my kid alone. Period. Never. Why not? Cuz my kids never saw any doctor alone.

    But we can discuss this at another time when you're having a better day. Sheesh! talk about the day from hades!

  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Okay, for you? I ate a brownie, because we all know how chocolate is an amazing stress reliever. In fact, I felt so good, I ate TWO. Bet you're feeling better already! No? Want me to have a glass of wine, too? I can do that. Heck, I don't even need a reason. You HAVE a reason. You have about FIFTY reasons. Heather, what you need is one of us to live next door so's we can either bring the chocolate and/or wine over at the end of a day like this.

    But since we don't, I vote for a do-over tomorrow and you can even pretend none of this ever happened. And when you get your new letter for the make-up appointment you can just think to yourself, "Oh, will you look at that! I have an appointment next week on Thursday at 8:45am! It will be so great to have this behind me so I can move forward with my SSDI claim! I wonder if they'll have brownies? :D "

  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Heather, the SS system isnt nice. They dont have to be. When you are trying to get disability they will do everything in their power to dissuade you and make you feel bad and try to get you to drop the claim. The first letter is really harsh if you get denied. I cried buckets over it. They actually said on that first letter that I handled stress better than most people. LOL...isnt that a riot! If most people do more damage to their homes than I do when stressed then this world is in pitiful shape.

    Now I do have to admit that once I was approved, the system has been much nicer. I couldnt ask for more pleasant people when I talk to Medicare.

    You have got to keep up with your appointments somehow. You have got to keep copies of everything you send them. Missing deadlines is...well...deadly.
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    What a terrible day! I don't blame you for quitting!

    Hope things get better and you find a little peace and time to re-group.

  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Heather, seems like yesterday was a bad day for Ohioans in general. Not everyone, of course, but a few of us CD'ers.

    Anyhoo, Lots of hugs. It has to get better, huh?!
  10. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Do you have a couple of extra bucks? If so, this is what I used to do once every year or two when I was overwhelmed with responsibility and stress.
    It really helped me.

    I packed a runaway bag, precooked meals, hired a sitter and took off. The
    Holiday Inn was probably fifteen minutes from my house but it felt like I was far away. Sometimes I checked in around 10 and put on my pj's, climbed into bed and took a nap. Other times I climbed into the clean tub and soaked in a Vita Bath. During the summer I would occasionally head out to the pool and enjoy being anonymous . Rarely (maybe twice) I managed to actually spend the night...that was heaven! When money was especially tight (often as I was single and supporting five people) I just packed a bag of comfort food from home. Room service for a meal or two
    made me feel like a princess, lol.

    Don't know if that would help you fall back and regroup but it sure did help me. I'm sorry you are at the end of your rope and hope a little R&R might
    do the trick. Hugs. DDD
  11. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Do you ever do the POST IT notes in huge marker maybe on the fridge? I know it sounds simple but i have to do it sometimes with important apt's. I wlll make on with the date next one with the time and one with the type of apt.
    Highlight the time on the note, tape that on the wall also.

    We have a 3pm therapist every week yet i still put up a note because I get so caught up in all of the other BS.

    You have made it so far do not give up now!
    Sorry you are flaring up and in more pain
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Just hugs. Hoping tomorrow will be better.
  13. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Geeze, Heather...just the driving part of the day would have sent me into a tail spin. Sorry it was so stressful.