flutterby
Fly away!
Yep. That's it. I'm done. I'm resigning. From everything.
I posted on General about my anxiety stress level and difficult child (Past my limit thread).
Today I had an evaluation appointment for my SSDI claim. I knew about. I've been telling everyone it was at 11:00am.
I get there and finally find the place. The building isn't numbered and outside is a sign that reads, "Internal Medicine", and I was seeing a psychologist. So, I was 5 minutes late. I go to the office and the door is locked. There are chairs out in the hall, so I thought maybe he was with a patient. I sit down and wait. I peek under the door and I don't see any light. So, I knock. Nothing. I'm thinking maybe I'm at the wrong place or he left because I was late.
Oh no. No, no, no. Can't be that easy. I called and woke difficult child and asked her to look at the letter and give me the name of the doctor. I was at the right place. And I said, it says the appointments today right? At 11:00? She said, "What? It was at 8:45am."
OMfreakingG. If I miss the appointment it's pretty much an automatic denial.
My anxiety was already sky high before I got there. So I get home and immediately call the claims adjuster chick at SS and leave a message explaining what happened. And then take a klonopin.
She calls me a bit later and is snarky as hell. "I don't understand how you got the time wrong when I called you on Monday and spelled it out for you."
Me: "When you called, I had just woken up. Nothing gets through to me."
Her: "Well, you could have asked me to hold on so you could get your bearings."
Me: "It takes an hour to get my bearings, at least, after I wake up."
Her: "Well, we can reschedule it one time. You'll get a letter in the mail. But it is YOUR responsibility to get there. I did call you and let you know."
Me: "This is one of the reasons I'm filing for disability, you know."
ARGH!!!!! No, I wasn't exactly nice. But, she wasn't either and honest to God I cannot take one more person being snarky or demanding or anything. I hung up the phone and burst into tears. I didn't do it on purpose. I had it in my head for 2 WEEKS that the appointment was at 11:00am. It didn't matter that I had the letter that said another time. I had it in my head. I really do hope that she is never sick and never has to experience what it's like to live like this and how humiliating and degrading it is on an almost daily basis.
Before that messed up appointment, the psychiatrists office called and they had a cancellation today. They were very nice...said they knew I was in a hurry to get difficult child seen and wanted to offer it to me. So, I took it. It was at 3:00pm. I couldn't get in to see my doctor like I wanted to because my doctor only had 2:30 and 3:00 available, but I've been feeling like I have been for a while. It's not going anywhere and I can live with it until Monday.
So, easy child's DF goes with me to the appointment. Driving - which used to be my freedom - is now difficult for me. Especially when I'm driving outside of my comfort zone, i.e., places I have traveled a lot within the last few years. I understood that the first appointment was just me and then we would schedule for difficult child to be seen.
I get there. It's around 45 minutes away. I fill out this mountain of paperwork and the tech comes out to take difficult child's blood pressure. Except, difficult child isn't there. Apparently, she was supposed to be there. Sigh.... There is this big fuss in front of a waiting room FULL of people. I was humiliated. But, they said that psychiatrist would see just me. Then psychiatrist said that I needed to bring difficult child back today or they couldn't bill. Which was fine. I really wanted difficult child to be seen. They wanted me to have her back at 5:30pm.
I mentioned this was outside of my comfort zone. I leave the appointment at 3:30 and I go to 71N. Which is where I'm supposed to go and then get on 315N. Except that I originally was going to go to my mom's first, so I had 71N stuck in my head all the way.
Where you get on 71 right there, it splits into 3 highways. I got into the lane for 71N. Instead of the lane for 315N. Ok, no big deal. I can get home on 71, it is just a bit longer.
Then 71 and 70E split. I'm watching the signs so that I'm in the correct lane and still somehow managed to miss the split and end up on 70E. I have no idea where I am at this point, nor does DF, and am trying to figure out how I'm going to get turned around. I can't think at this point. I then see a sign for 670E towards the airport and know that I can take that and then get on 270 because that interchange is near the airport. I then get on 270, take it around to 71, etc, etc, etc.
What should have been a straight shot north, ended up being north, east, north, and then back west. It took an hour and 20 minutes to get home. And before we even left for the first psychiatrist appointment, I had to stop at easy child's work and get my debit card because I was going to need gas and he had my freaking card. My gas light went on right as I got to my exit. Thankfully, there are gas stations there. I get out and step in black slush that is 6 inches deep. Great. Get back in the car and my hands reek of gas. Even better.
We get home, pee and immediately leave to take difficult child back and end up being 10 minutes late because of all of this. Where we should have had time to catch a quick bite to eat.
psychiatrist sees difficult child without me for all of 10 minutes, at most, and comes out with prescriptions. Without me being back there. And I don't like what she prescribed, but I'm just the mom. (see post on General - psychiatrist appointment).
My back is screaming, my shoulder is swollen and I have nerve pain running down my arm, my head is thumping, and my bursitis is going to flare like an SOB come tomorrow. All from driving.
I quit. I'm done.
I posted on General about my anxiety stress level and difficult child (Past my limit thread).
Today I had an evaluation appointment for my SSDI claim. I knew about. I've been telling everyone it was at 11:00am.
I get there and finally find the place. The building isn't numbered and outside is a sign that reads, "Internal Medicine", and I was seeing a psychologist. So, I was 5 minutes late. I go to the office and the door is locked. There are chairs out in the hall, so I thought maybe he was with a patient. I sit down and wait. I peek under the door and I don't see any light. So, I knock. Nothing. I'm thinking maybe I'm at the wrong place or he left because I was late.
Oh no. No, no, no. Can't be that easy. I called and woke difficult child and asked her to look at the letter and give me the name of the doctor. I was at the right place. And I said, it says the appointments today right? At 11:00? She said, "What? It was at 8:45am."
OMfreakingG. If I miss the appointment it's pretty much an automatic denial.
My anxiety was already sky high before I got there. So I get home and immediately call the claims adjuster chick at SS and leave a message explaining what happened. And then take a klonopin.
She calls me a bit later and is snarky as hell. "I don't understand how you got the time wrong when I called you on Monday and spelled it out for you."
Me: "When you called, I had just woken up. Nothing gets through to me."
Her: "Well, you could have asked me to hold on so you could get your bearings."
Me: "It takes an hour to get my bearings, at least, after I wake up."
Her: "Well, we can reschedule it one time. You'll get a letter in the mail. But it is YOUR responsibility to get there. I did call you and let you know."
Me: "This is one of the reasons I'm filing for disability, you know."
ARGH!!!!! No, I wasn't exactly nice. But, she wasn't either and honest to God I cannot take one more person being snarky or demanding or anything. I hung up the phone and burst into tears. I didn't do it on purpose. I had it in my head for 2 WEEKS that the appointment was at 11:00am. It didn't matter that I had the letter that said another time. I had it in my head. I really do hope that she is never sick and never has to experience what it's like to live like this and how humiliating and degrading it is on an almost daily basis.
Before that messed up appointment, the psychiatrists office called and they had a cancellation today. They were very nice...said they knew I was in a hurry to get difficult child seen and wanted to offer it to me. So, I took it. It was at 3:00pm. I couldn't get in to see my doctor like I wanted to because my doctor only had 2:30 and 3:00 available, but I've been feeling like I have been for a while. It's not going anywhere and I can live with it until Monday.
So, easy child's DF goes with me to the appointment. Driving - which used to be my freedom - is now difficult for me. Especially when I'm driving outside of my comfort zone, i.e., places I have traveled a lot within the last few years. I understood that the first appointment was just me and then we would schedule for difficult child to be seen.
I get there. It's around 45 minutes away. I fill out this mountain of paperwork and the tech comes out to take difficult child's blood pressure. Except, difficult child isn't there. Apparently, she was supposed to be there. Sigh.... There is this big fuss in front of a waiting room FULL of people. I was humiliated. But, they said that psychiatrist would see just me. Then psychiatrist said that I needed to bring difficult child back today or they couldn't bill. Which was fine. I really wanted difficult child to be seen. They wanted me to have her back at 5:30pm.
I mentioned this was outside of my comfort zone. I leave the appointment at 3:30 and I go to 71N. Which is where I'm supposed to go and then get on 315N. Except that I originally was going to go to my mom's first, so I had 71N stuck in my head all the way.
Where you get on 71 right there, it splits into 3 highways. I got into the lane for 71N. Instead of the lane for 315N. Ok, no big deal. I can get home on 71, it is just a bit longer.
Then 71 and 70E split. I'm watching the signs so that I'm in the correct lane and still somehow managed to miss the split and end up on 70E. I have no idea where I am at this point, nor does DF, and am trying to figure out how I'm going to get turned around. I can't think at this point. I then see a sign for 670E towards the airport and know that I can take that and then get on 270 because that interchange is near the airport. I then get on 270, take it around to 71, etc, etc, etc.
What should have been a straight shot north, ended up being north, east, north, and then back west. It took an hour and 20 minutes to get home. And before we even left for the first psychiatrist appointment, I had to stop at easy child's work and get my debit card because I was going to need gas and he had my freaking card. My gas light went on right as I got to my exit. Thankfully, there are gas stations there. I get out and step in black slush that is 6 inches deep. Great. Get back in the car and my hands reek of gas. Even better.
We get home, pee and immediately leave to take difficult child back and end up being 10 minutes late because of all of this. Where we should have had time to catch a quick bite to eat.
psychiatrist sees difficult child without me for all of 10 minutes, at most, and comes out with prescriptions. Without me being back there. And I don't like what she prescribed, but I'm just the mom. (see post on General - psychiatrist appointment).
My back is screaming, my shoulder is swollen and I have nerve pain running down my arm, my head is thumping, and my bursitis is going to flare like an SOB come tomorrow. All from driving.
I quit. I'm done.